WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en

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- It was a sad sad day when the countess

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finally kicked the bucket.

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But the wealthy woman left a will.

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In her will she left all her money

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to her three grandchildren.

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Despite the fact that they
were kinda spoiled brats.

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The last line of the will stated that she

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had one final thing to give away, a ruby,

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the size of a gosh darn walnut.

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Holy hoo-haw, I want that
walnut, said the oldest.

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However, the old woman only gave one clue

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as to where that juicy
ruby might be located.

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The ruby lies in a cylinder,

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surrounded by a thousand squares.

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After a long period of
intense and fruitless thought,

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the youngest grandchild
said, I know where it is.

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She ran off and two minutes later

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returned with that juicy ruby.

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Where was it hidden?

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- The (bleep) (laughter).

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- I don't know.

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- First of all, why is grandma
leaving riddles in her will?

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Ain't nobody got time for this.

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- This is really doin' my head in.

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- Do I get more clues, no?

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- Can't be her grave, it can't be--

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- What is this again (laughs)?

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- Maybe it's like a haunted house,

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maybe it's like in a
fun house or something.

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Now I'm goin' all over the place.

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- A taleidoscope?

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Okay.

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- It's square, are you
talking about how they'll

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call people squares, like they're not hip.

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- Inside a television, inside her house.

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- I don't know, I have
no idea, yeah I give up.

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- [Voiceover] So where was the ruby?

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It was hidden in a roll of toilet paper.

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A cylinder surrounded
by a thousand squares.

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Give or take a few.

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- Oh my God, I'm so angry, I'm so angry.

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- This is what I was
thinking, uhh, this sucks!

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- It's gonna be something
really simple, isn't it?

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- Are you (bleep) serious?

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What the (bleep) is this?

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Are you...oh my God, a thousand mm, okay.

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(jazzy music)