WEBVTT Kind: captions Language: en 00:00:00.374 --> 00:00:03.380 (gasping sounds) 00:00:03.380 --> 00:00:04.304 (logo whooshes) 00:00:04.304 --> 00:00:07.158 (hinge squeaks) 00:00:07.158 --> 00:00:08.729 - Larry's from New York, and I'm from Los Angeles. 00:00:08.729 --> 00:00:10.310 So-- 00:00:10.310 --> 00:00:11.501 - I'm from Brooklyn. 00:00:11.501 --> 00:00:12.817 - I'm from the Valley. 00:00:12.817 --> 00:00:14.039 - He likes to think that I'm 00:00:14.039 --> 00:00:15.737 some kind of anti-social psycho. 00:00:15.737 --> 00:00:19.904 - You're wanted by the KGB, the FBI, the CIA, Walmart. 00:00:21.244 --> 00:00:22.550 - When he's really happy, he-- 00:00:22.550 --> 00:00:24.044 - Like right now. 00:00:24.044 --> 00:00:25.643 - Dances, and does sounds. 00:00:25.643 --> 00:00:27.294 - Because we can. 00:00:27.294 --> 00:00:29.544 - Yeah, why not? It's good. 00:00:30.727 --> 00:00:32.756 I read this thing online, 00:00:32.756 --> 00:00:35.739 apparently Green Tea is very healthy. 00:00:35.739 --> 00:00:38.484 - Hey, check this steel, man. 00:00:38.484 --> 00:00:40.200 - Oh, thank you my friend, thank you my friend, you know? 00:00:40.200 --> 00:00:42.999 - Green tea, black tea, and white tea 00:00:42.999 --> 00:00:45.951 are actually all from the same plant. 00:00:45.951 --> 00:00:47.334 - He'll just like talk really low. 00:00:47.334 --> 00:00:49.510 (gasping sounds) 00:00:49.510 --> 00:00:53.541 - She sounds like this when I get her on the phone. 00:00:53.541 --> 00:00:55.008 - Is he imitating my vocal fry, 00:00:55.008 --> 00:00:56.757 just like the usual commenters? 00:00:56.757 --> 00:00:57.977 - How's your day going? 00:00:57.977 --> 00:00:59.298 Well that's good. 00:00:59.298 --> 00:01:00.532 - That's funny, dad. 00:01:00.532 --> 00:01:02.430 - Hold on, hold on. She's always, hold on, hold on. 00:01:02.430 --> 00:01:03.347 - I'm busy! 00:01:04.646 --> 00:01:05.814 - How's it going? 00:01:05.814 --> 00:01:08.956 Wanna come over for dinner later? 00:01:08.956 --> 00:01:10.594 - I don't drive like that! 00:01:10.594 --> 00:01:13.462 - Oh! Shit! Damn it, you know? 00:01:13.462 --> 00:01:15.161 - Turn around, wait wait wait wait wait! 00:01:15.161 --> 00:01:16.864 - What are you gonna do? 00:01:16.864 --> 00:01:18.983 Come on, it's okay. 00:01:18.983 --> 00:01:20.040 You can do it. 00:01:20.040 --> 00:01:21.784 - Come on over here in the Pontiac, 00:01:21.784 --> 00:01:23.490 come on, what are you a fuckin' moron? 00:01:23.490 --> 00:01:25.303 - Look, no hands! 00:01:25.303 --> 00:01:27.120 And then he'd drive with his knees. 00:01:27.120 --> 00:01:28.703 - Come on! Come on! 00:01:31.159 --> 00:01:33.667 And then like some old lady's trying to cross 00:01:33.667 --> 00:01:36.241 the street he's like aw, great! 00:01:36.241 --> 00:01:38.434 - I wonder why that person is so upset. 00:01:38.434 --> 00:01:42.904 It's just not worth it to get your blood pressure up. 00:01:42.904 --> 00:01:43.961 - Talk to the hand! 00:01:43.961 --> 00:01:45.741 Talk to the hand! 00:01:45.741 --> 00:01:46.887 Okay what the fuck is this, talk to the hand? 00:01:46.887 --> 00:01:48.587 (babbling) 00:01:48.587 --> 00:01:50.796 - No I can't talk to you right now, leave me alone, 00:01:50.796 --> 00:01:54.963 leave me alone, leave me alone, okay, close the door. 00:01:57.983 --> 00:02:00.066 (laughs) 00:02:01.023 --> 00:02:01.911 (sighs) 00:02:01.911 --> 00:02:04.584 (laughs) 00:02:04.584 --> 00:02:05.458 - And that's it. 00:02:05.458 --> 00:02:06.331 - I raised you fuckin' better than that. 00:02:06.331 --> 00:02:08.217 I didn't raise you and your sisters so I could 00:02:08.217 --> 00:02:09.633 put up with this kind of bullshit. 00:02:09.633 --> 00:02:11.966 - I'm a little disappointed. 00:02:14.697 --> 00:02:16.047 (laughs) 00:02:16.047 --> 00:02:17.384 - We really need to talk about this right now. 00:02:17.384 --> 00:02:19.251 You need to tell me exactly, 00:02:19.251 --> 00:02:21.084 exactly what happened. 00:02:23.335 --> 00:02:25.430 - Hey, guess what just happened? 00:02:25.430 --> 00:02:26.552 - Dad, dad! 00:02:26.552 --> 00:02:27.921 - Hey, mommy, look look! 00:02:27.921 --> 00:02:29.471 - Hee hee, shut up. 00:02:29.471 --> 00:02:30.674 - Check this steel! 00:02:30.674 --> 00:02:32.047 - Oh! 00:02:32.047 --> 00:02:33.068 (claps) 00:02:33.068 --> 00:02:35.116 - Yeah okay when people do that. 00:02:35.116 --> 00:02:37.199 (laughs) 00:02:39.896 --> 00:02:41.032 - That is not how I dance. 00:02:41.032 --> 00:02:42.240 - Kinda light and airy, 00:02:42.240 --> 00:02:43.410 taking it all in you know? 00:02:43.410 --> 00:02:44.243 Hi! 00:02:45.289 --> 00:02:46.539 - And you look. 00:02:48.147 --> 00:02:49.332 Now can you unblock? 00:02:49.332 --> 00:02:51.165 - He's got like a major white man's underbite 00:02:51.165 --> 00:02:51.998 thing happening. 00:02:51.998 --> 00:02:53.325 - I think it's sexy, don't you think it's sexy? 00:02:53.325 --> 00:02:55.376 - You're my dad, dad. 00:02:55.376 --> 00:02:56.286 - Oh. 00:02:56.286 --> 00:02:58.699 - He goes like this, he really likes doing 00:02:58.699 --> 00:03:01.587 funny things with his legs. 00:03:01.587 --> 00:03:04.299 And then like with his arms. 00:03:04.299 --> 00:03:06.646 - You do like this. 00:03:06.646 --> 00:03:07.836 - Hey! 00:03:07.836 --> 00:03:10.534 (babbling) 00:03:10.534 --> 00:03:12.940 - As a parent you kind of have 00:03:12.940 --> 00:03:15.913 these vignettes of memories over time. 00:03:15.913 --> 00:03:17.169 - We're so much alike in so many ways. 00:03:17.169 --> 00:03:18.694 It's like I'm gonna just do me, 00:03:18.694 --> 00:03:20.603 you know, with a different voice. 00:03:20.603 --> 00:03:22.684 - You know you're a certain way, 00:03:22.684 --> 00:03:24.574 but when you hear somebody else telling you 00:03:24.574 --> 00:03:25.853 that you're that way, 00:03:25.853 --> 00:03:29.223 sometimes it's a little bit like huh, yeah I am that way. 00:03:29.223 --> 00:03:30.056 - I love you. 00:03:30.056 --> 00:03:32.018 - I love you too. 00:03:32.018 --> 00:03:34.601 (upbeat music) 00:03:36.636 --> 00:03:39.033 - See? You little shit, you learned.