(jazzy music)
- Hi I'm Hannah, you're friendly neighborhood wine mom
and if you're anything like me,
you believe that a glass of wine at 8pm
makes you a better mom.
So pour yourself a glass and let's talk.
Now today we're drinking a dessert wine.
It is mango wine because I just ate
basically 8,000 grams of carbs in the form of pizza
and bread sticks and it's time for dessert.
So a couple of weeks ago we did a video
about judgey parents and you guys totally owned it
with these amazing comments.
Sharing stories of all the times that you were judged
and overcame it.
When that video was released, I was on a trip
with my husband with no service
and I went to this middle of nowhere rest stop
just to check on the video and I saw all of the comments
and just burst into tears in front of everyone
because it was so beautiful.
So thank you so much and I want to keep it going,
so let's talk about something
that I see in the comments a lot.
It's an issue that we all have to deal with every day
and it's: How I Learned To Love My Mom Bod.
Really excited to talk about this.
So first, let's talk about the girls,
'cause when you're pregnant, your boobs get huge
and they're just like up here
like big perky headlights like,
"Hello baby on the way."
and then as soon as the baby comes out
they just kind of deflate like sad birthday balloons.
You know when you like, your kid insists on keeping
them in their room for like a month and a half
and they're just like barely floating.
But the way I think about it now is,
I kept two humans alive with these.
Literally these things kept two humans alive.
They have accomplished so much.
So you know what, I'm gonna let 'em retire.
They did their job.
I'm gonna give 'em a break for a little bit.
So this ones for you.
I appreciate you.
Next, tiger claws.
Instead of getting like the typical tiger claw stretch marks
around my belly I got this weird solo stretch mark right
above my belly button that like stretched out into a V.
And it's like, I'll show you.
Come.
Come closer don't be shy.
It's like kinda weird.
And I was so embarrassed by it
that for the longest time after I had my first,
I would not even wear a bathing suit
like a two-piece bathing suit.
I realized that, first of all I'm not going to the beach
for like some model photo shoot,
so who gives a crap if I have the perfect body.
Second, I'm not there for anyone else's viewing pleasure,
like we're all there to just go to the beach.
And three that mark
is the only reminder I have on my body
of the fact that I had both of my children in there.
It's mind boggling to look at them now
and see how huge they are
and look down at my little stretch mark
and remember that this is where they came from.
It's our badge of honor.
It's beautiful.
Next, the pooch.
When your stomach has been stretched out to about here,
there's gonna be some extra skin.
Every mom's stomach is not going to be the same
as it was before they had children,
that's just a fact.
Yeah my stomach is a lot softer than it used to be,
but let's be honest I never had a six pack to begin with.
And as soon as you have the baby,
there's all this pressure from the media
and peers and strangers to lose the baby weight.
I don't know why that's even a priority to other people
who have not even had this baby.
New moms are the most exhausted people on the planet,
so for them to try to focus on like exerting more energy
to try to lose weight is ridiculous.
So let's give them a break.
New moms don't have to focus on losing the baby weight,
just worry about keeping the child alive
and yourself alive.
How 'bout that?
So keep your baby weight, who cares?
Seriously, you look good.
Cheers.
Next, the hoohah because I'm five years old
and I don't like talking about privates.
Still it baffles me that I am still asked by so many people,
do the parts go back together the way that they were?
Duh!
Back in the olden, olden, olden days
children did not survive very well,
so women were supposed to have multiple kids.
That means this thing, closes right back up.
Maybe not our tummies, but down there does just fine.
And I checked with a man.
Ask my husband.
Don't ask my husband, that's weird.
So there's a comment that I get all the time in person
and in the comments of these videos and it's always,
"You look amazing for having had two kids."
and for the longest time there was this ugly voice
in the back of my head that would say,
"Oh, you're only looking good for having two kids.
"You don't look good for a normal person."
Something that was meant to be a compliment,
would make me feel badly about myself.
I felt like my only body identity was mom.
I realized, I of course my body identity should be a mom
because I birthed two children and that's amazing.
And to any of you guys who feel like you have all this
pressure on you to look perfect or look a certain way
or feeling bad about anything that is happened to you
as a result of having your child,
you gotta stop.
What you've done is the most incredible accomplishment
that I could ever think of.
Like literally building a human.
Like you made a brain.
Just in the fact that there was a brain in there
that you made that's crazy.
And honestly if you're feeling badly, turn off the TV.
Turn off the computer.
Turn off this crappy media that's making us feel
like we're supposed to look a certain way
or we're supposed be a certain way.
That's completely unrealistic and unattainable.
Life is way too short to spend another second
hating your body.
And I am so freaking passionate about this,
I'm about to start crying, I'm not even joking.
I love my mom bod.
I love your mom bod.
You should love your mom bod,
so let's celebrate them.
Let's show them off to the world
because fuck what everyone,
I shouldn't say the f-word,
but fuck what anyone else thinks!
Seriously, fuck that!
We're beautiful and we should celebrate with lots of wine.
And bathing suits.
So that's all I got for today.
I'm Hannah, your friendly neighborhood wine mom.
And I know I got a little bit passionate there,
but this is just something that I care so much about.
I just wanna like reach through the screen and hug you all.
One of those long awkward hugs
that you're like patting me on the back being like,
"Okay, okay."
So I wanna hear in the comments about
why you love your mom bod
and what you love about your mom bod
because they're beautiful
and it's time we take over the dad bods
'cause it's all about the mom bod because we're awesome.
And we rock and you're all beautiful and I love you.
So cheers.
'Til next time.
(jazzy music)
Oh sweet barrel wine.
Sweet barrel wine!