WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en

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- I hope I'll just be going
and everyone will be like damn,

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what happened to her?

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And I'll be like, I've been Gwyneth-ed.

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(ticking)

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So the actress Gwyneth Paltrow
has a lifestyle website

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called goop.

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- That suggests, usually
very expensive things to do,

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to make your life better.

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So basically, I've created a day

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based off of Gwyneth Paltrow's blogs

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and interviews and recipe books.

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How I think she lives her day.

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And I'm going to try to emulate that.

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So I'm leaving you today as Chelsea,

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but tomorrow I'm gonna be Gwyneth.

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It's gonna be great.

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I'm about to get on the train
to go to the exercise class

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that Gwyneth Paltrow does.

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Just got out of the class.

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It felt a little cult-ish.

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No one said anything and
everyone just knew what to do.

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It was weird.

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I had a good time.

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I'm very tired.

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In the morning, Gwnyeth gives her children

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a little spoonful of flaxseed oil.

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I'm giving my dog-child a
little bit of coconut oil.

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I'm about to make Gwyneth's smoothie.

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I have chosen Action Dust.

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I'm sitting on the floor
so I can lay out my makeup

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and chant over it to put
positive energy in it.

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Because that is something that is advised

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by goop and Gwyneth.

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Hm.

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My dog's in the back.

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Bye.

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(lively trumpets and drums)

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I'm gonna tend to my dog-child
then I'm gonna come back,

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read some emails, do some work,

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cook myself some lunch

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and then go to my cupping appointment.

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(relaxation music)

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Hopefully it won't hurt.

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Just got done cupping.

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I have intense bruising.

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I've been up since six am,

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I am not a morning person.

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But I have so much energy,

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I don't know if it's the
matcha powder in that smoothie,

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maybe it's the cupping.

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I'm a little tired

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and I still have to work
out for one more hour,

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make dinner, drink a martini

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and take a bath.

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Got a cigarette, even
though I don't smoke.

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Got my drink,

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I'm in my bath wearing a
face mask that's tingling

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and I'm exhausted.

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I kinda can't wait to
just be myself again.

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So basically I did a
bunch of glamorous things,

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expensive things, all day.

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And I don't feel any more glamorous.

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I think that the whole idea
of these glamorous lifestyles

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and blogging about it,

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is that you don't see the other
aspect of everyone's life.

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Like getting to those appointments,

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smelling the garbage on the
street while you're going there,

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and all of those other things.

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And so it's not a good
idea to hold yourself

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up to those standards.

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(frustrated noise)

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But I do like cupping.

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I don't know if I'll do it again,

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but it was cool.

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Gwyneth keep doing you,

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I'm gonna keep doing me.

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That's cause that's all we can do.

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(laughing)

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(squeaky noise)