(softly ringing bells)
(ominous music playing)
- "Dear Miss Kelsey, we regret to inform you
"that you have not been accepted
"at Hogwarts due to your GPA."
(loud cut-off cursing)
- [Voiceover] Hogwarts is nothing like the books.
Sure, you have your houses,
your athletic jocks in Gryffindor,
your jaded wannabe Slytherins,
your hipster nerds in Ravenclaw,
and your happy Hufflepuffs.
But that's about where the similarities end.
(coughing)
- What the hell are you doing in there?
- Just studying some herbology.
- Dude, those are recreational spells.
In the godamn room?
(door shuts)
- [Voiceover] The Gryffindors hated losing.
Almost as much as the Slytherins loved cheating.
- Wait a minute!
You took a failus felixius potion!
- [Voiceover] It wasn't a Hogwarts party
without an old fashioned duel.
(dramatic music playing)
- Cops! (screeching record)
(ominous music playing)
- [Voiceover] And Dementors could suck the soul
out of a party in seconds.
So there you have it.
Hogwarts isn't what you expected.
But, at least it's full of the brightest students around.
- Will. Whoa, wait, buddy.
Where you going? Where you going?
- I'm flying home. Broomin' home.
- You can't fly home, I saw you shuck
like five butterbeers, man.
C'mon...
- What are you, what're you like Dumbledore?
I'm flying outta here, man.
- No dude, just stay.
- I'm gonna... - Just stay.
- I'm going hooome - No, no! No!
Oh!
Will. Will, get up man.
C'mon buddy.
Just, c'mon. Wake up.