WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en

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- If I could speak to my
mental disorder, I would say,

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"I finally like what my body looks like."

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- I would ask it to get off my back.

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- If I could talk to my
anxiety, I would say,

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"Chill out, calm the fuck down."

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- I'd say, "I finally
feel beautiful today."

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- It's not going to run my life.

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- "Nice try, but I found marijuana,

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and now you have no chance
at stopping me." (laughs)

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- When I was 14, I was
diagnosed with anorexia.

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I hated my body.

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I kept telling myself if I stopped eating,

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my self would thank me later on in life.

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I saw all these beautiful women

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who didn't have their thighs touching,

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and they were very small.

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I have hips, and I have curves,

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and, you know, I'm a curvy woman,

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and I never felt accepted.

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I never felt beautiful.

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And I never felt like my body was right.

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I started to like the
feeling of my tummy rumbling,

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and the pain of not having
anything in my stomach.

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It was prolly the most
painful, and like...

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worst time of my life.

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- I've had clinical
depression most of my life.

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When I'm depressed I don't
feel bummed out all the time,

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I just sort of feel like laying down

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because I don't want to do anything.

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I lose interest in the things
I used to be passionate about.

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I don't want to hang out with my friends.

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It makes it hard to get
out of bed in the morning.

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It makes it hard to exercise
or cook a decent meal.

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- A real life embodiment of my anxiety

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could be like a black dog,

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constantly following me around.

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This kind of companion, that
whether I want it to or not,

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is always by my side.

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It can be really calm,

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and maybe comforting almost, sometimes,

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but then, like, in the blink of an eye,

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it will just pounce on me,

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and, you know, totally
mess up whatever I'm doing.

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Generalized anxiety is kind of interesting

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in that I always have this
base level kind of panic

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going on.

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I'm freaking out like 95% of the time.

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- The biggest thing I've
learned about working

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with my depression is
just choosing everyday

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to live, like, healthy, vital, happy life.

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Constantly trying to resist it,

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isn't going to help as much
as trying to work with it.

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- I would say it's important to know

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that your anxiety is real,

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and that you shouldn't let people tell you

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to stop being a baby,

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or to like, toughen up.

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- It's gonna get better.

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And that sounds so cheesy to some people,

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but when I look back at what
it was like when I was 14,

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and now I'm 24.

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Over the last 10 years my view on my body

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has completely changed.

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I feel so beautiful today.

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I'm all about body positivity,

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and you never know how you're
gonna grow in your life.

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If I could speak to my
mental disorder, I would say,

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"Go away, you're not welcome any more."

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(light music)