- If I could speak to my mental disorder, I would say,
"I finally like what my body looks like."
- I would ask it to get off my back.
- If I could talk to my anxiety, I would say,
"Chill out, calm the fuck down."
- I'd say, "I finally feel beautiful today."
- It's not going to run my life.
- "Nice try, but I found marijuana,
and now you have no chance at stopping me." (laughs)
- When I was 14, I was diagnosed with anorexia.
I hated my body.
I kept telling myself if I stopped eating,
my self would thank me later on in life.
I saw all these beautiful women
who didn't have their thighs touching,
and they were very small.
I have hips, and I have curves,
and, you know, I'm a curvy woman,
and I never felt accepted.
I never felt beautiful.
And I never felt like my body was right.
I started to like the feeling of my tummy rumbling,
and the pain of not having anything in my stomach.
It was prolly the most painful, and like...
worst time of my life.
- I've had clinical depression most of my life.
When I'm depressed I don't feel bummed out all the time,
I just sort of feel like laying down
because I don't want to do anything.
I lose interest in the things I used to be passionate about.
I don't want to hang out with my friends.
It makes it hard to get out of bed in the morning.
It makes it hard to exercise or cook a decent meal.
- A real life embodiment of my anxiety
could be like a black dog,
constantly following me around.
This kind of companion, that whether I want it to or not,
is always by my side.
It can be really calm,
and maybe comforting almost, sometimes,
but then, like, in the blink of an eye,
it will just pounce on me,
and, you know, totally mess up whatever I'm doing.
Generalized anxiety is kind of interesting
in that I always have this base level kind of panic
going on.
I'm freaking out like 95% of the time.
- The biggest thing I've learned about working
with my depression is just choosing everyday
to live, like, healthy, vital, happy life.
Constantly trying to resist it,
isn't going to help as much as trying to work with it.
- I would say it's important to know
that your anxiety is real,
and that you shouldn't let people tell you
to stop being a baby,
or to like, toughen up.
- It's gonna get better.
And that sounds so cheesy to some people,
but when I look back at what it was like when I was 14,
and now I'm 24.
Over the last 10 years my view on my body
has completely changed.
I feel so beautiful today.
I'm all about body positivity,
and you never know how you're gonna grow in your life.
If I could speak to my mental disorder, I would say,
"Go away, you're not welcome any more."
(light music)