WEBVTT Kind: captions Language: en 00:00:00.801 --> 00:00:02.300 - Don't say anything offensive 00:00:02.300 --> 00:00:04.717 and be on your best behavior. 00:00:05.641 --> 00:00:07.781 Joke about how we shouldn't talk about politics 00:00:07.781 --> 00:00:09.222 because I know how you can get. 00:00:09.222 --> 00:00:10.861 - Yeah, joke about how I should just run 00:00:10.861 --> 00:00:13.940 because I'm not ready for this. 00:00:13.940 --> 00:00:15.857 I'm not ready for this. 00:00:17.731 --> 00:00:19.142 - Oh, my gosh! 00:00:19.142 --> 00:00:21.503 Got a little fatter than we remember. 00:00:21.503 --> 00:00:23.064 - Appearing normal, trying to hide the 00:00:23.064 --> 00:00:26.303 pain of knowing you've slept with my daughter. 00:00:26.303 --> 00:00:28.503 Snap judgement based on the handshake. 00:00:28.503 --> 00:00:30.204 Stereotyping you based on your wardrobe 00:00:30.204 --> 00:00:31.484 and your hairstyle. 00:00:31.484 --> 00:00:32.734 Inviting words! 00:00:35.388 --> 00:00:39.555 (intense music) 00:00:43.027 --> 00:00:44.608 - I have never tried to mind 00:00:44.608 --> 00:00:48.228 my manners this much in my entire life. 00:00:48.228 --> 00:00:49.549 - Questioning something that Kelsey put 00:00:49.549 --> 00:00:50.768 on Facebook that makes me realize 00:00:50.768 --> 00:00:53.076 how much I know about you. 00:00:53.076 --> 00:00:54.376 - Embarrassment! 00:00:54.376 --> 00:00:56.857 - And clearly I'm so supportive of it. 00:00:56.857 --> 00:00:59.090 - Yeah, extrapolating on that because it shows 00:00:59.090 --> 00:00:59.923 some very good. 00:00:59.923 --> 00:01:00.756 - I don't care. 00:01:00.756 --> 00:01:02.716 Can I get some information about your background? 00:01:02.716 --> 00:01:04.316 I would like to know about your family, 00:01:04.316 --> 00:01:06.216 about your job. 00:01:06.216 --> 00:01:08.396 I need to find out whether we match up. 00:01:08.396 --> 00:01:09.229 - Oh, that reminds me of 00:01:09.229 --> 00:01:10.576 something you have to do with your car. 00:01:10.576 --> 00:01:12.376 - Aggravated short response. 00:01:12.376 --> 00:01:15.949 - Oh, and I'm reminded of a bill I paid of yours. 00:01:15.949 --> 00:01:16.782 Oh boy, I'll say anything that 00:01:16.782 --> 00:01:19.065 comes into my head. 00:01:19.065 --> 00:01:20.825 - Feeling like I'm in high school again. 00:01:20.825 --> 00:01:22.844 - Avoiding any form of internal conflict 00:01:22.844 --> 00:01:24.420 in order to summarize positive 00:01:24.420 --> 00:01:26.640 things about my upbringing. 00:01:26.640 --> 00:01:27.880 Specific details in order to make 00:01:27.880 --> 00:01:29.320 my middle class family feel as 00:01:29.320 --> 00:01:31.240 affluent as I assume yours is. 00:01:31.240 --> 00:01:33.080 - That phrase reminds me of something, 00:01:33.080 --> 00:01:35.260 oh my God that Kelsey did when she was little. 00:01:35.260 --> 00:01:39.040 I was so so so impressed by her. 00:01:39.040 --> 00:01:40.880 - Acting on emotions that I haven't 00:01:40.880 --> 00:01:42.420 felt since I lived here. 00:01:42.420 --> 00:01:44.280 Directing it towards you. 00:01:44.280 --> 00:01:45.580 - First impressions are so important 00:01:45.580 --> 00:01:48.260 I just don't wanna be negative. 00:01:48.260 --> 00:01:50.380 - Reverting back to my high school self. 00:01:50.380 --> 00:01:53.213 - I don't need you in the kitchen. 00:01:56.060 --> 00:01:57.477 - Abandoning you. 00:02:02.573 --> 00:02:03.660 - Are you the type of person 00:02:03.660 --> 00:02:04.680 who likes talking about themselves? 00:02:04.680 --> 00:02:06.780 - No, I have one or two interest but 00:02:06.780 --> 00:02:07.933 my goal here is to find out. 00:02:07.933 --> 00:02:09.733 - Desperately trying to connect to you 00:02:09.733 --> 00:02:10.913 on one of those interests. 00:02:10.913 --> 00:02:12.873 - Pretending to believe your attempt. 00:02:12.873 --> 00:02:14.956 And I'll call your bluff. 00:02:16.573 --> 00:02:19.566 - I will actually surprise myself 00:02:19.566 --> 00:02:23.524 by how well I'm currently backtracking. 00:02:23.524 --> 00:02:25.464 - So, you like the same things I do. 00:02:25.464 --> 00:02:27.464 - Definitely like. 00:02:27.464 --> 00:02:28.741 - I planned this whole dinner out 00:02:28.741 --> 00:02:30.881 meticulously and now I'm stressed out 00:02:30.881 --> 00:02:33.321 because it didn't work out according to plan. 00:02:33.321 --> 00:02:35.586 - Changing the subject to what chores 00:02:35.586 --> 00:02:37.401 you want me to do because I'm 00:02:37.401 --> 00:02:39.501 continuing this contemptuous relationship 00:02:39.501 --> 00:02:42.301 that we use to have when I was 15. 00:02:42.301 --> 00:02:43.961 - And I'm trying to stop that. 00:02:43.961 --> 00:02:45.821 I just want to remind you about 00:02:45.821 --> 00:02:47.924 how much fun we have. 00:02:47.924 --> 00:02:49.091 I love you. 00:02:50.255 --> 00:02:51.535 It's just a general question because 00:02:51.535 --> 00:02:53.895 I'm worried about your well being. 00:02:53.895 --> 00:02:55.075 - So boring you with slides of 00:02:55.075 --> 00:02:56.555 one of my best moments because, 00:02:56.555 --> 00:02:58.495 well, you're basically forced to watch. 00:02:58.495 --> 00:03:01.295 - Over emphasizing how interesting this is. 00:03:01.295 --> 00:03:03.175 - Oh, and claiming a story as mine 00:03:03.175 --> 00:03:05.555 even though it actually happened to a friend. 00:03:05.555 --> 00:03:06.975 (laughing) 00:03:06.975 --> 00:03:09.335 - Repeating small phrases while nodding. 00:03:09.335 --> 00:03:11.585 - Oh, and showing you that. 00:03:12.815 --> 00:03:14.845 Hiding that I'm having computer 00:03:14.845 --> 00:03:16.405 problems because of pride. 00:03:16.405 --> 00:03:17.945 - Oh, your making a very simple mistake 00:03:17.945 --> 00:03:19.145 that anyone from my generation 00:03:19.145 --> 00:03:20.585 could help you with. 00:03:20.585 --> 00:03:23.445 - Excuse about other people using the computer. 00:03:23.445 --> 00:03:24.668 And messing with my stuff. 00:03:24.668 --> 00:03:26.501 - Actually, very, very 00:03:27.814 --> 00:03:31.627 simple thing that everyone knows presented 00:03:31.627 --> 00:03:34.507 like it's an insider's secret. 00:03:34.507 --> 00:03:36.427 - Snap judgement. 00:03:36.427 --> 00:03:39.787 That my other snap judgements were wrong. 00:03:39.787 --> 00:03:41.407 - Taking a breath. 00:03:41.407 --> 00:03:43.407 Becoming an adult again. 00:03:45.245 --> 00:03:47.668 - Look I can't hide that I'm 00:03:47.668 --> 00:03:50.528 unsure about your dreams. 00:03:50.528 --> 00:03:53.228 And you look a little fatter! 00:03:53.228 --> 00:03:54.061 - Mom! 00:03:56.028 --> 00:03:56.861 - I'm so sorry. 00:03:56.861 --> 00:03:57.835 Oh, there I go again. 00:03:57.835 --> 00:03:59.275 - Stomping around because the 00:03:59.275 --> 00:04:01.095 way we communicate is symptomatic 00:04:01.095 --> 00:04:03.075 of a much larger issue. 00:04:03.075 --> 00:04:07.395 - I approve of your choices but I value security. 00:04:07.395 --> 00:04:10.052 - Pretending I don't want attention right now. 00:04:10.052 --> 00:04:12.575 - I'm passively siding with your mom 00:04:12.575 --> 00:04:15.095 because them liking me is much more important 00:04:15.095 --> 00:04:16.595 than whatever you're arguing about. 00:04:16.595 --> 00:04:19.012 - I'm finally feeling needed. 00:04:21.515 --> 00:04:23.495 - Understanding why I'm being 00:04:23.495 --> 00:04:25.795 ganged up on right now and 00:04:25.795 --> 00:04:28.628 willing to go along with the plan. 00:04:29.675 --> 00:04:30.775 - I am impressed with how you 00:04:30.775 --> 00:04:32.955 handled the situation. 00:04:32.955 --> 00:04:35.995 And you can begin to let your guard down, slowly, 00:04:35.995 --> 00:04:39.245 over the course of the next five years.