WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en

00:00:03.793 --> 00:00:05.973
- [Voiceover] Do you wanna bang tonight?

00:00:09.340 --> 00:00:11.778
(doorbell rings)

00:00:11.778 --> 00:00:14.474
- Oh hey, can you stay
the fuck in your room?

00:00:14.474 --> 00:00:15.978
- I'm pretending like I
wasn't frantically cleaning

00:00:15.978 --> 00:00:17.135
for the past 15 minutes.

00:00:17.135 --> 00:00:20.183
- I tried on seven outfits
before I decided on this one.

00:00:20.183 --> 00:00:23.211
- [both] Bullshit about wine.

00:00:23.211 --> 00:00:24.389
- I've been wine tasting once.

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Diverting this nervous energy
by looking at a screen.

00:00:28.798 --> 00:00:30.159
I'm putting the burden of choice on you.

00:00:30.159 --> 00:00:32.698
- Oh I'm not accepting
that responsibility.

00:00:32.698 --> 00:00:36.050
- Then that case I will
offer up five or six

00:00:36.050 --> 00:00:39.159
very diverse choices to
show my intelligence,

00:00:39.159 --> 00:00:41.273
sense of humor, the fact
that I went to college.

00:00:41.273 --> 00:00:43.466
- Comment about that really popular series

00:00:43.466 --> 00:00:45.152
everyone's talking about on the internet.

00:00:45.152 --> 00:00:46.331
- Yeah.

00:00:46.331 --> 00:00:47.937
- [both] But starting a series together

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is a lot of commitment.

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- Who cares, we won't be
watching the movie anyway.

00:00:53.645 --> 00:00:56.083
- Oh yes I just wanna make out a lot.

00:00:56.083 --> 00:00:59.009
- And do other stuff.

00:00:59.009 --> 00:01:00.939
Alright getting ready to
be nervous for 20 minutes

00:01:00.939 --> 00:01:02.178
about when to touch you.

00:01:02.178 --> 00:01:04.393
- And how we decide to sit now

00:01:04.393 --> 00:01:05.815
will determine a precedent

00:01:05.815 --> 00:01:08.544
about the rest of our relationship.

00:01:11.524 --> 00:01:12.702
- Ignoring the fact that
my arm's gonna be numb

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in 10 minutes.

00:01:17.558 --> 00:01:19.122
- Oh, too close to your butt.

00:01:19.122 --> 00:01:21.581
Oh, too close to your vagina.

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Too close--

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(gasps)

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- I'm not actually scared,

00:01:26.113 --> 00:01:28.590
I just wanted to touch your leg.

00:01:28.590 --> 00:01:30.399
- Commenting on the movie to start

00:01:30.399 --> 00:01:31.761
an overlapping dialogue.

00:01:31.761 --> 00:01:33.565
- I'm answering but I know
what you're actually doing

00:01:33.565 --> 00:01:35.718
considering how close
our faces are together.

00:01:35.718 --> 00:01:36.937
- I'm just kinda talking to talk.

00:01:36.937 --> 00:01:39.335
- Angling my face hoping
you're gonna take a hint.

00:01:39.335 --> 00:01:41.306
- Hiding my boner with my elbow.

00:01:41.306 --> 00:01:44.146
- Hoping you're gonna make a move.

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- I still can't tell if you like me.

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- Fuck it.

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(romantic music)

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- I'm eating your cereal.