WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en

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- Hi, how are you?

00:00:01.510 --> 00:00:02.340
- Good, thanks.

00:00:02.920 --> 00:00:03.880
- How am I?

00:00:03.880 --> 00:00:04.970
I've been standing for eight hours

00:00:04.970 --> 00:00:06.840
and I'm in a terrible mood (laughs).

00:00:08.060 --> 00:00:09.600
My dog died.

00:00:10.680 --> 00:00:13.140
- It looks like you erased the
entire contents of your phone

00:00:13.140 --> 00:00:15.640
but sure, I'll take responsibility.

00:00:16.480 --> 00:00:17.560
- I'm saying I need to
go in the back to check

00:00:17.560 --> 00:00:19.570
for her size but I'm
really going in the back

00:00:19.570 --> 00:00:20.900
to check my Instagram.

00:00:20.900 --> 00:00:23.320
- Oh, I'm pretending like
I didn't just see porn

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pop up on your computer.

00:00:25.780 --> 00:00:28.410
- You're super cute, I'm
gonna act so professional

00:00:28.410 --> 00:00:30.410
to cover up how nervous I am.

00:00:30.410 --> 00:00:31.370
Hello.

00:00:31.370 --> 00:00:31.694
- Hi.

00:00:31.694 --> 00:00:33.750
- This blouse looks terrible on you

00:00:33.750 --> 00:00:35.540
but I'm a hundred dollars
away from my sales goal.

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Yes girl, it's fierce.

00:00:38.170 --> 00:00:39.920
- No, we're out of stock.

00:00:39.920 --> 00:00:41.290
For the 100th time.

00:00:41.290 --> 00:00:42.590
- Oh, no price tag.

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Must be free.

00:00:43.620 --> 00:00:44.420
(laughter)

00:00:44.420 --> 00:00:46.293
- I've already heard
that joke six times today

00:00:46.293 --> 00:00:48.583
and it's not even my lunch break yet.

00:00:48.583 --> 00:00:50.640
- Where can you buy that obscure adapter?

00:00:50.640 --> 00:00:52.070
I don't know, I'll Google it.

00:00:52.800 --> 00:00:53.810
- Nope.

00:00:53.810 --> 00:00:57.020
You're misinterpreting good
customer service as flirting.

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Give me one moment.

00:00:57.940 --> 00:00:58.540
Yeah?

00:00:59.120 --> 00:01:01.190
- I am watching you steal
that accessory but go ahead

00:01:01.190 --> 00:01:03.360
because I'm not allowed
to confront you directly.

00:01:03.360 --> 00:01:05.860
- No, you can't return that
item without a receipt.

00:01:05.860 --> 00:01:07.450
But let me go get my
manager so he can tell you

00:01:07.450 --> 00:01:08.940
the exact same thing.

00:01:09.530 --> 00:01:11.200
- We're understaffed
today so I'm just gonna

00:01:11.200 --> 00:01:13.540
make an excuse to head into the back.

00:01:13.540 --> 00:01:15.500
- Oh, you're great with technology.

00:01:15.500 --> 00:01:17.114
Then why are you here?

00:01:17.580 --> 00:01:19.170
(laughter)

00:01:19.170 --> 00:01:20.920
- After three years in retail

00:01:20.920 --> 00:01:23.293
I'm the world's best fake laugher.

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(laughs)

00:01:24.510 --> 00:01:26.760
- I haven't had a full
weekend off in four months.

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(laughs maniacally)