- Hi, how are you?
- Good, thanks.
- How am I?
I've been standing for eight hours
and I'm in a terrible mood (laughs).
My dog died.
- It looks like you erased the entire contents of your phone
but sure, I'll take responsibility.
- I'm saying I need to go in the back to check
for her size but I'm really going in the back
to check my Instagram.
- Oh, I'm pretending like I didn't just see porn
pop up on your computer.
- You're super cute, I'm gonna act so professional
to cover up how nervous I am.
Hello.
- Hi.
- This blouse looks terrible on you
but I'm a hundred dollars away from my sales goal.
Yes girl, it's fierce.
- No, we're out of stock.
For the 100th time.
- Oh, no price tag.
Must be free.
(laughter)
- I've already heard that joke six times today
and it's not even my lunch break yet.
- Where can you buy that obscure adapter?
I don't know, I'll Google it.
- Nope.
You're misinterpreting good customer service as flirting.
Give me one moment.
Yeah?
- I am watching you steal that accessory but go ahead
because I'm not allowed to confront you directly.
- No, you can't return that item without a receipt.
But let me go get my manager so he can tell you
the exact same thing.
- We're understaffed today so I'm just gonna
make an excuse to head into the back.
- Oh, you're great with technology.
Then why are you here?
(laughter)
- After three years in retail
I'm the world's best fake laugher.
(laughs)
- I haven't had a full weekend off in four months.
(laughs maniacally)