WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en

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- That was expensive.

00:00:01.376 --> 00:00:02.361
(laughing)

00:00:02.361 --> 00:00:04.603
- I'm inviting you in
saying it's for wine,

00:00:04.603 --> 00:00:07.098
but I really mean sex.

00:00:07.098 --> 00:00:08.781
- I don't know where to stand.

00:00:08.781 --> 00:00:10.168
(pounding music)

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I wanna go to your bedroom.

00:00:15.513 --> 00:00:17.556
(gasping)

00:00:17.556 --> 00:00:19.423
I don't know the way around your house.

00:00:19.423 --> 00:00:20.553
(panting)

00:00:20.553 --> 00:00:23.559
- I'm gonna make sure my vagina
doesn't smell like cheese.

00:00:25.335 --> 00:00:25.996
(sighs)

00:00:27.715 --> 00:00:29.060
Oh, fuck.

00:00:29.060 --> 00:00:31.000
- I'm gonna have sex.

00:00:31.000 --> 00:00:32.776
- I did that on purpose.

00:00:32.776 --> 00:00:33.796
- I'm gonna have sex.

00:00:33.796 --> 00:00:35.353
I'm gonna have sex.

00:00:35.353 --> 00:00:37.676
- I don't want you to see my flaws,

00:00:37.676 --> 00:00:40.739
but I do want you to see in general.

00:00:40.739 --> 00:00:43.363
I learned this move that makes
you sexy, yet vulnerable.

00:00:43.363 --> 00:00:44.732
- My breath still smells
like brussel sprouts.

00:00:44.732 --> 00:00:46.717
- I'm taking your clothes off slowly

00:00:46.717 --> 00:00:48.054
just in case your junk looks really weird,

00:00:48.054 --> 00:00:50.490
and I need to control
my facial expressions.

00:00:50.490 --> 00:00:51.639
- I'm taking your clothes off too,

00:00:51.639 --> 00:00:54.158
so we go at the same procedural rate.

00:00:54.158 --> 00:00:55.610
This is a nice shirt, don't rip it.

00:00:55.610 --> 00:00:57.155
I'm touching your boobs so
that you'll touch my wiener.

00:00:57.155 --> 00:00:58.037
- Asking about a condom,

00:00:58.037 --> 00:00:59.419
but it's actually just a formality,

00:00:59.419 --> 00:01:01.497
I'm gonna get one from my nightstand.

00:01:01.497 --> 00:01:03.331
- I'm gonna try not to
stare at your naked body,

00:01:03.331 --> 00:01:05.420
but I'm not making any promises.

00:01:05.420 --> 00:01:07.033
- I hope he didn't just see my butt hole.

00:01:07.033 --> 00:01:08.833
- What if she's the last
person I ever have sex with?

00:01:08.833 --> 00:01:11.015
- I hope this goes as
good as I want it to.

00:01:11.015 --> 00:01:13.373
- [In unison] Whatever.

00:01:13.373 --> 00:01:14.998
(nervous laugh)

00:01:14.998 --> 00:01:17.340
- This condom is gonna
take awhile to put on.

00:01:21.730 --> 00:01:22.697
Okay.

00:01:22.697 --> 00:01:23.695
(moaning)

00:01:23.695 --> 00:01:24.891
Make happy noises to validate me.

00:01:24.891 --> 00:01:26.686
- Does this sound real?

00:01:26.686 --> 00:01:28.166
- Overthinking my sexy voice.

00:01:28.166 --> 00:01:29.572
- Oh god, I want you to do this harder,

00:01:29.572 --> 00:01:31.299
but I don't want you to
think you're hurting me.

00:01:31.299 --> 00:01:32.287
- I'm so thirsty.

00:01:32.287 --> 00:01:33.842
- Stop, that makes me have to fart.

00:01:33.842 --> 00:01:35.153
- I have stuff on my ass.

00:01:35.153 --> 00:01:37.535
- I am not almost there,
I am not almost there.

00:01:37.535 --> 00:01:39.124
- I'm thinking about my
grandma so I don't cum.

00:01:39.124 --> 00:01:40.506
- I'm not even close.

00:01:40.506 --> 00:01:43.384
(loud moaning)

00:01:43.384 --> 00:01:45.754
- That sounds nice.

00:01:45.754 --> 00:01:48.377
(sighing)

00:01:48.377 --> 00:01:49.718
- I kinda want to cuddle.

00:01:49.718 --> 00:01:51.279
- I kinda want to cuddle too,

00:01:51.279 --> 00:01:54.136
but if I don't pee, I'm
gonna get another UTI.

00:01:58.459 --> 00:01:59.729
- Where's my phone?