WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en

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- I'm Katie and it took me 19 years

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to figure out that I had Lyme disease.

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(slow music)

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I'd always had health issues

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my whole life from when I was young.

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Sinus problems, poor immune system.

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It was my freshman year of college.

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I kept getting pneumonia every week or two

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and then all of a sudden,

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it was like 20 hours a day of sleep

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or I couldn't get up to move.

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I felt so out of control.

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I stopped going to my classes

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because when I was at my classes,

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I couldn't really process the information.

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I wasn't hearing the questions.

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I wasn't able to keep up with the reading.

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There was just something missing.

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There was no specific note that the doctor

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at Washington and Lee could give me

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because she didn't know
what was wrong either.

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I had to go through at least 15 doctors.

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It started with pneumonia,
walking pneumonia,

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chronic walking pneumonia,
Epstein-Barr virus,

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mono, fibromyalgia, POTS,
chronic fatigue syndrome,

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generalized anxiety
disorder, and depression.

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(slow piano music)

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I didn't know what it could
be, so then having someone say,

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"You need to see a psychiatrist,"

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it was half fuck you, no,

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but also, okay, this man has
eight degrees on his wall.

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I certainly doubted in moments

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that I was making everything
I was experiencing up.

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They made me feel like I wanted attention.

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I thought I was going to die.

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The suicidal thoughts crept in.

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I really think that what kept me going

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was wanting to see where the mystery went.

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I wanted the answer and
I kinda never lost sight

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that I would receive that eventually

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and that I would prove somebody wrong.

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I'm stubborn, I'm real stubborn.

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It wasn't officially
until a sports masseuse

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who was working on my body

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and hearing all of my trials
and tribulations said,

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"Have you looked into this?

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"I hear it's very hard to diagnose

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"and you have to be very firm with doctors

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"in order to get them to test for it."

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I was like, okay, here we go and I went

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and I found any doctor that
would take it seriously,

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one of whom diagnosed me and
the other of whom treated me

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and my doctor who was
taking this very seriously

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held my hand for the first time

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since I had gotten sick and said,

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"This is not easy and this
is not straight forward,

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"but I'm gonna try really hard

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"and we're gonna figure this out for you."

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That moment of this is what you have.

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You have a name, you can write
this down on your paperwork.

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You can tell this to loved ones.

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We have a path and maybe
it's not super clear

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and we're gonna have to switch

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around your medications a
lot, but you have this thing

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and you have not been
crazy this whole time.

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(sighs)

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It was a stunning moment.

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It gave me the fuel that
I needed to go forward

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with treatment for over
a year with intensity.

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I would be throwing up so much,

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have no appetite, and
look like complete shit

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and I would just smile so much

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because I knew that the medication

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that was making me sick
was doing something

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and that's why I was getting sick

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and it was this whole process
in my brain, like a challenge,

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like I was fighting these
bugs that were in my body.

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Having a goal versus
just going down and down

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and thinking that you're
crazy, they're incomparable

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and it gets easier the further

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I get away from my former self

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because letting go of her
has been very difficult.

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Hearing from doctors and
hearing from loved ones

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is always reassuring and getting an answer

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or getting support is what we all want,

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but no one will ever, ever, ever know

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what's going on inside of your body

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or going on inside of your
brain unless you tell them

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and in order to tell them confidently,

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you have to have been
listening to yourself.

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Anything that seems abnormal to you,

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listen to it and remind yourself

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that you are worth paying
attention to yourself

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and if you don't understand

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and believe yourself, no one else will.

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(slow music)