WEBVTT Kind: captions Language: en 00:00:00.251 --> 00:00:02.451 - It's funny, you know, you spend like, 00:00:02.451 --> 00:00:06.448 all of your 20's trying so so so hard not to get pregnant, 00:00:06.448 --> 00:00:09.432 and then when you decide that it's time, 00:00:09.432 --> 00:00:11.688 that you wouldn't have any trouble, 00:00:11.688 --> 00:00:13.749 because it seems like it's such a threat 00:00:13.749 --> 00:00:15.321 when you're like, in your 20's. 00:00:15.321 --> 00:00:17.571 (laughter) 00:00:20.058 --> 00:00:21.557 - Do you remember how we met? 00:00:21.557 --> 00:00:23.437 - We met at a series of parties. 00:00:23.437 --> 00:00:24.368 I was like, you're not leaving 00:00:24.368 --> 00:00:25.568 until you give me your number. 00:00:25.568 --> 00:00:27.974 That was probably four years ago, now? 00:00:27.974 --> 00:00:29.503 - [Nathan] We started dating in May, so, four years ago. 00:00:29.503 --> 00:00:30.412 - April. 00:00:30.412 --> 00:00:31.294 - Yeah. 00:00:31.294 --> 00:00:32.865 (laughter) 00:00:32.865 --> 00:00:35.588 - One day I saw a picture of Nathan with a beard, 00:00:35.588 --> 00:00:36.686 holding a baby. 00:00:36.686 --> 00:00:38.966 And I was like, I think maybe this is the guy 00:00:38.966 --> 00:00:40.956 that I need to have babies with. 00:00:40.956 --> 00:00:43.617 We've been living together for about two and a half years. 00:00:43.617 --> 00:00:45.593 When I got pregnant the first time. 00:00:45.593 --> 00:00:47.668 - [Nathan] We told our family immediately, 00:00:47.668 --> 00:00:49.508 we really were like, oh, it's on, 00:00:49.508 --> 00:00:50.341 this is... 00:00:50.341 --> 00:00:51.905 - This is happening. - What could go wrong? 00:00:51.905 --> 00:00:54.185 - We had an ultrasound at about eight weeks, 00:00:54.185 --> 00:00:57.665 and the embryo didn't have a heartbeat. 00:00:57.665 --> 00:01:00.373 - They said, basically, there's not a fetus there. 00:01:00.373 --> 00:01:01.834 - It was like a total shock, 00:01:01.834 --> 00:01:03.694 the ultrasound lady was like, 00:01:03.694 --> 00:01:04.527 "Hmm..." 00:01:06.903 --> 00:01:08.730 "So, lemme go get the doctor." 00:01:08.730 --> 00:01:10.753 - I mean, you know rationally that what the doctors 00:01:10.753 --> 00:01:12.961 told you was true, but I think part of you is still 00:01:12.961 --> 00:01:15.193 trying to figure out the solution to the problem. 00:01:15.193 --> 00:01:18.044 - So I had a D&C, which stands for 00:01:18.044 --> 00:01:20.127 dissection and curettage. 00:01:21.095 --> 00:01:24.177 I didn't realize that I was gonna be continuing to bleed 00:01:24.177 --> 00:01:25.546 for the next two weeks. 00:01:25.546 --> 00:01:28.548 Which was a constant reminder. 00:01:28.548 --> 00:01:32.276 I felt like a failure, like I wasn't sure, 00:01:32.276 --> 00:01:34.065 why this had to happen to me. 00:01:34.065 --> 00:01:35.847 I was so excited to have a baby, 00:01:35.847 --> 00:01:39.284 and it was like, where do we go from here? 00:01:39.284 --> 00:01:41.017 But, I did get pregnant again. 00:01:41.017 --> 00:01:41.850 - Uh huh. 00:01:41.850 --> 00:01:43.887 - But I also had another miscarriage. 00:01:43.887 --> 00:01:45.185 And I talked to my doctor about it. 00:01:45.185 --> 00:01:47.105 She said, it's a really good sign, 00:01:47.105 --> 00:01:49.583 that it means that you can get pregnant again. 00:01:49.583 --> 00:01:50.625 - And then, we did. 00:01:50.625 --> 00:01:51.764 - And then we did. 00:01:51.764 --> 00:01:53.247 - We did again, after that. 00:01:53.247 --> 00:01:54.607 - There was a third miscarriage. 00:01:54.607 --> 00:01:57.327 - With each one, two things happened. 00:01:57.327 --> 00:01:59.495 The shock of it isn't as extreme, 00:01:59.495 --> 00:02:01.167 'cause you've been through it. 00:02:01.167 --> 00:02:02.817 But you also start to wonder, 00:02:02.817 --> 00:02:05.145 is there something wrong with our chemistry together? 00:02:05.145 --> 00:02:06.806 Is it maybe just isn't gonna happen? 00:02:06.806 --> 00:02:08.316 It was a hard time, it was a hard time 00:02:08.316 --> 00:02:11.767 for several weeks, months, afterwards. 00:02:11.767 --> 00:02:15.367 - All it really took was one quick Google search, 00:02:15.367 --> 00:02:17.876 and I found out that I wasn't alone. 00:02:17.876 --> 00:02:19.316 Before I was pregnant the first time, 00:02:19.316 --> 00:02:22.945 I didn't really know that many people 00:02:22.945 --> 00:02:24.417 who had had miscarriages. 00:02:24.417 --> 00:02:26.464 If you don't share with people, 00:02:26.464 --> 00:02:28.817 then you don't have a support system. 00:02:28.817 --> 00:02:30.607 We had decided to stop trying. 00:02:30.607 --> 00:02:32.316 - Yeah. - After a while. 00:02:32.316 --> 00:02:35.196 - And then, two days after that official choice... 00:02:35.196 --> 00:02:36.625 - We found out that I was pregnant. 00:02:36.625 --> 00:02:37.964 (laughter) 00:02:37.964 --> 00:02:40.697 - Today, I am 18 1/2 weeks pregnant. 00:02:40.697 --> 00:02:44.716 We were like, incredibly, incredibly cautious. 00:02:44.716 --> 00:02:45.807 - And we told nobody. 00:02:45.807 --> 00:02:47.945 - I refused to believe that it was real, 00:02:47.945 --> 00:02:49.857 until I saw a heartbeat. 00:02:49.857 --> 00:02:50.955 - There was a lot of anxiety 00:02:50.955 --> 00:02:52.596 leading up to the first ultrasound. 00:02:52.596 --> 00:02:54.425 - Here we are at the doctor's office, 00:02:54.425 --> 00:02:56.543 about to have our NT ultrasound. 00:02:56.543 --> 00:03:01.516 And, I just hope that everything's in the right place. 00:03:01.516 --> 00:03:03.016 We went in, and... 00:03:04.663 --> 00:03:06.516 - It was real. - We had a heartbeat. 00:03:06.516 --> 00:03:08.607 The genetic counselor called me. 00:03:08.607 --> 00:03:10.145 - Right away, on the phonecall, 00:03:10.145 --> 00:03:12.297 she was like, "And, do you want to know the sex?" 00:03:12.297 --> 00:03:15.380 Are we gonna find this out right now? 00:03:17.536 --> 00:03:19.092 - Oh, my goodness, wow! 00:03:19.092 --> 00:03:19.925 Are you ready? 00:03:19.925 --> 00:03:20.758 - No, no, yeah. 00:03:20.758 --> 00:03:21.641 - And she goes... 00:03:21.641 --> 00:03:24.636 - Okay, well it looks like she has two x chromosomes. 00:03:24.636 --> 00:03:26.136 - She! - Oh my god! 00:03:27.897 --> 00:03:29.457 - [Nathan] It was awesome when we found out 00:03:29.457 --> 00:03:31.636 that we are having a baby girl. 00:03:31.636 --> 00:03:32.777 - We're having a girl. 00:03:32.777 --> 00:03:33.765 (laughter) 00:03:33.765 --> 00:03:37.207 - The second ultrasound, we did another one at 12 weeks ish. 00:03:37.207 --> 00:03:39.156 - [Nathan] Yeah, the ultrasound technician was awesome, 00:03:39.156 --> 00:03:42.247 she was like, look there's her feet, look there's the hands, 00:03:42.247 --> 00:03:43.097 there's the face! 00:03:43.097 --> 00:03:45.708 And like, printed out numerous photos for us, 00:03:45.708 --> 00:03:47.276 and it was way more fun. 00:03:47.276 --> 00:03:48.695 - [Angela] Way more fun. 00:03:48.695 --> 00:03:49.793 - [Nathan] Oh my goodness. 00:03:49.793 --> 00:03:50.996 - [Angela] Is that her foot, right there? 00:03:50.996 --> 00:03:52.537 - [Nathan] There's like, tons of action. 00:03:52.537 --> 00:03:55.487 - And that's when we decided that it was gonna be okay 00:03:55.487 --> 00:03:56.617 to tell our families. 00:03:56.617 --> 00:03:57.450 - Yeah. 00:03:57.450 --> 00:04:00.148 - [Angela] Nathan cut out a cute little sign that said like, 00:04:00.148 --> 00:04:01.428 it's a girl! 00:04:01.428 --> 00:04:03.577 - [Nathan] And then we started this Skype with a monitor 00:04:03.577 --> 00:04:06.114 bent down towards us, so they couldn't see the wall. 00:04:06.114 --> 00:04:08.076 And so we kinda hunched down. 00:04:08.076 --> 00:04:10.548 - With our faces cut off right here. 00:04:10.548 --> 00:04:12.257 - And then at a certain point, we tried to get 00:04:12.257 --> 00:04:15.948 them to say, "Hey, I can't really see you that well." 00:04:15.948 --> 00:04:18.802 - [Angela] Can you see us okay, or should we...? 00:04:18.802 --> 00:04:21.884 - Well, we can see half of Nathan's head. 00:04:21.884 --> 00:04:26.051 - Nathan, adjust your, we're cut off around your eyes. 00:04:27.821 --> 00:04:29.833 - The key moment, tilted the screen back, 00:04:29.833 --> 00:04:31.623 and then we just kept talking. 00:04:31.623 --> 00:04:32.790 - There ya go. 00:04:33.665 --> 00:04:36.295 - It's a girl, what does that mean? 00:04:36.295 --> 00:04:37.785 - Tilt the screen a little. 00:04:37.785 --> 00:04:40.092 - Yeah, there you go, that's good. 00:04:40.092 --> 00:04:41.865 Oh, hey, wow! 00:04:41.865 --> 00:04:46.133 - We got to see them be like. (sputters) 00:04:46.133 --> 00:04:47.794 - Hey, what's goin' on! 00:04:47.794 --> 00:04:49.405 (laughter) 00:04:49.405 --> 00:04:50.488 - Oh my gosh! 00:04:52.450 --> 00:04:54.673 (laughter) 00:04:54.673 --> 00:04:55.673 - Oh my god! 00:04:58.753 --> 00:05:00.681 - [Nathan] You're a grandpa, or will be. 00:05:00.681 --> 00:05:03.214 - [Angela] Almost, I mean. 00:05:03.214 --> 00:05:04.464 - [Nathan] Aww. 00:05:05.803 --> 00:05:06.793 - It was very fun. 00:05:06.793 --> 00:05:08.537 - It was super cute. 00:05:08.537 --> 00:05:13.017 I learned a lot during my first pregnancies. 00:05:13.017 --> 00:05:15.497 I guess I just wanna say, like, for other women 00:05:15.497 --> 00:05:17.907 and other couples who are going through this, 00:05:17.907 --> 00:05:18.995 you are not alone. 00:05:18.995 --> 00:05:21.055 So, don't be afraid to reach out, 00:05:21.055 --> 00:05:23.135 don't be afraid to talk to your families 00:05:23.135 --> 00:05:24.563 and your friends about it. 00:05:24.563 --> 00:05:26.194 - Stay hopeful, keep your plans intact, 00:05:26.194 --> 00:05:28.467 just keep working towards the result that you need. 00:05:28.467 --> 00:05:31.217 - Healthy pregnancies after a miscarriage 00:05:31.217 --> 00:05:33.217 are a total possibility.