WEBVTT Kind: captions Language: en 00:00:04.171 --> 00:00:06.295 - Is it like Jennifer Lawrence? 00:00:06.295 --> 00:00:06.992 Because then may-- 00:00:06.992 --> 00:00:09.116 - You would let Jennifer Lawrence pee all over your couch 00:00:09.116 --> 00:00:11.415 and then lick her wet pants. 00:00:11.415 --> 00:00:14.808 - I mean, Jennifer Lawrence. 00:00:14.808 --> 00:00:16.491 - The thing about lesbian porn is most 00:00:16.491 --> 00:00:18.534 of it is not made for lesbians. 00:00:18.534 --> 00:00:21.251 It makes it look like we have completely awful sex. 00:00:21.251 --> 00:00:23.944 - We've got our rubric right here. 00:00:23.944 --> 00:00:27.252 First thing on the rubric is storyline. 00:00:27.252 --> 00:00:29.064 - Level of foreplay. 00:00:29.064 --> 00:00:30.572 - Turned on-ness. 00:00:30.572 --> 00:00:33.847 - Nail fakeness, is that really that big of a deal? 00:00:33.847 --> 00:00:35.471 - Then belieability. 00:00:35.471 --> 00:00:36.632 - Do you wanna click the link? 00:00:36.632 --> 00:00:39.136 - No, I was gonna ask you if you wanted to. 00:00:39.136 --> 00:00:40.800 - Let's watch some lesbian porn. 00:00:40.800 --> 00:00:41.802 - Why not? (clinking) 00:00:41.802 --> 00:00:44.599 - "Horny Teen Lesbian Seduced by Sisters." 00:00:44.599 --> 00:00:46.177 - I hope it's not incest. 00:00:46.177 --> 00:00:48.778 - She's not going to join them, is she? 00:00:48.778 --> 00:00:50.798 That's her sister. 00:00:50.798 --> 00:00:51.936 - What are they eating? 00:00:51.936 --> 00:00:53.178 I'm like interested in that. 00:00:53.178 --> 00:00:56.673 - Eating Rice-A-Roni and now they're in the bedroom. 00:00:56.673 --> 00:00:58.693 - Do you see what they're doing with their tongues? 00:00:58.693 --> 00:01:00.271 - Now they're naked magically. 00:01:00.271 --> 00:01:01.258 - Oh, she's naked. 00:01:01.258 --> 00:01:02.175 How did, when did that...? 00:01:02.175 --> 00:01:04.334 - That girl just looked straight into the camera. 00:01:04.334 --> 00:01:06.377 - Now they're doing a human centipede (laughs). 00:01:06.377 --> 00:01:09.791 - "Lesbian Teen's Kinky Pissing Video." 00:01:09.791 --> 00:01:12.472 - Oh no, there's already liquid. 00:01:12.472 --> 00:01:13.192 - Is that pee? 00:01:13.192 --> 00:01:14.574 - Is she really peeing? - [girl in plaid] Oh, okay. 00:01:14.574 --> 00:01:15.618 That is so gross. - [girl in plaid] Okay. 00:01:15.618 --> 00:01:17.581 - She literally looks like she's giving her a medical exam. 00:01:17.581 --> 00:01:18.881 What's going on in there? 00:01:18.881 --> 00:01:20.089 - Do you need like a flashlight? 00:01:20.089 --> 00:01:21.586 - The classic straight girl is like 00:01:21.586 --> 00:01:24.105 "Wax on, wax off." 00:01:24.105 --> 00:01:26.752 - She's taking her piss-soaked jeans 00:01:26.752 --> 00:01:30.072 and squeezing their excess pee. 00:01:30.072 --> 00:01:31.129 - Who are they, where are they from, 00:01:31.129 --> 00:01:32.731 do they know each other, are they related, 00:01:32.731 --> 00:01:34.124 are they friends, do they work together, 00:01:34.124 --> 00:01:36.167 are they strangers, did she just walk into her house, 00:01:36.167 --> 00:01:37.885 was she gonna break in, was she gonna steal something? 00:01:37.885 --> 00:01:38.663 Now they're having sex. 00:01:38.663 --> 00:01:39.858 Why did she pee on her? 00:01:39.858 --> 00:01:41.739 "Busty Brunette Tries Hard 00:01:41.739 --> 00:01:44.758 "to Seduce Her Straight Blonde Roommate." 00:01:44.758 --> 00:01:46.917 - "Punish my little whore ass" is what she said. 00:01:46.917 --> 00:01:49.297 This is definitely porn for men. 00:01:49.297 --> 00:01:50.040 - Yeah. 00:01:50.040 --> 00:01:51.955 - Girl isn't wearing underwear. 00:01:51.955 --> 00:01:53.139 - Awesome. 00:01:53.139 --> 00:01:54.892 - Strap-on happened. 00:01:54.892 --> 00:01:56.100 She's ramming her right now. 00:01:56.100 --> 00:01:57.341 - By the way, the (beeping) harness 00:01:57.341 --> 00:01:59.698 for the strap-on is bedazzled. 00:01:59.698 --> 00:02:01.718 - This just looks really painful. 00:02:01.718 --> 00:02:03.471 - Okay, now they're 69ing. 00:02:03.471 --> 00:02:07.674 - She's literally, she's just like (spitting). 00:02:07.674 --> 00:02:09.218 - Oh, and now we have scissoring. 00:02:09.218 --> 00:02:10.611 - Scissoring, hello. 00:02:10.611 --> 00:02:12.259 - All right, scissoring has arrived. 00:02:12.259 --> 00:02:14.198 - They have this double-ended dildo 00:02:14.198 --> 00:02:16.253 and this one girl, she's like deepthroating it. 00:02:16.253 --> 00:02:18.296 That thing is so large. 00:02:18.296 --> 00:02:20.035 - It's huge. 00:02:21.635 --> 00:02:23.555 Overall, I said not real lesbians. 00:02:23.555 --> 00:02:25.938 - It just makes me very sad that people are watching 00:02:25.938 --> 00:02:29.374 these videos, thinking that this is what sex is like 00:02:29.374 --> 00:02:32.532 between two women, when clearly it's, 00:02:32.532 --> 00:02:34.053 I don't know, much more than that. 00:02:34.053 --> 00:02:35.678 - There's lack of communication. 00:02:35.678 --> 00:02:39.369 They kind of go into it and I feel 00:02:39.369 --> 00:02:40.599 like people just get the wrong idea. 00:02:40.599 --> 00:02:42.190 - It's not real, it's not honest, 00:02:42.190 --> 00:02:45.011 it's not for the audience that it is "apparently" for. 00:02:45.011 --> 00:02:47.252 It sucked. 00:02:47.252 --> 00:02:48.436 - None of this is real. 00:02:48.436 --> 00:02:50.537 Please don't assume that any woman, 00:02:50.537 --> 00:02:52.917 gay, straight, whatever would find any 00:02:52.917 --> 00:02:55.578 of that remotely pleasurable.