WEBVTT Kind: captions Language: en 00:00:00.518 --> 00:00:05.306 (sad music) 00:00:10.194 --> 00:00:12.931 - When I'm depressed, trying to do anything 00:00:12.931 --> 00:00:14.846 feels like trying to start a car when there is no gas 00:00:14.846 --> 00:00:15.534 in the car. 00:00:15.534 --> 00:00:17.302 You can really want to go somewhere, 00:00:17.302 --> 00:00:19.103 you can really wanna do the thing, 00:00:19.103 --> 00:00:21.572 but you literally don't have the means. 00:00:21.572 --> 00:00:24.242 It can feel as heavy as a boulder, or as light to carry 00:00:24.242 --> 00:00:26.578 around as my fingernail, but it's as much a part of me 00:00:26.578 --> 00:00:28.230 as that fingernail is. 00:00:28.230 --> 00:00:31.582 - Depression to me feels like a giant weight, 00:00:31.582 --> 00:00:34.085 kind of like one of those big dumb bells. 00:00:34.085 --> 00:00:37.355 It starts right in your gut, and you just feel it 00:00:37.355 --> 00:00:38.924 slowly intensifying. 00:00:38.924 --> 00:00:41.126 So it starts out small, and then all of the sudden it gets 00:00:41.126 --> 00:00:43.295 a little bit bigger, a little bit bigger, 00:00:43.295 --> 00:00:46.564 it goes down to your stomach, it goes up to your heart, 00:00:46.564 --> 00:00:49.000 it kind of spreads throughout your entire body. 00:00:49.000 --> 00:00:51.903 And it just gets slowly heavier and heavier 00:00:51.903 --> 00:00:54.739 and just a little bit harder to deal with and a little 00:00:54.739 --> 00:00:56.075 bit harder to carry. 00:00:56.075 --> 00:00:59.173 And then it gets really overwhelming. 00:01:02.493 --> 00:01:05.817 - Having anxiety feels like a million bubbles filled with 00:01:05.817 --> 00:01:09.587 things that could go wrong that are just pushing on me. 00:01:09.587 --> 00:01:12.257 And each bubble is filled with something 00:01:12.257 --> 00:01:14.426 that could go wrong. 00:01:14.426 --> 00:01:16.995 And all of the things that could go wrong, 00:01:16.995 --> 00:01:21.968 are irrational to a normal person, but to someone 00:01:21.968 --> 00:01:25.236 with anxiety, the thing that could go wrong feels 00:01:25.236 --> 00:01:27.205 like the worst thing in the world. 00:01:27.205 --> 00:01:30.409 - It kind of feels like rolling in a ball down a hill. 00:01:30.409 --> 00:01:32.678 You do start to feel a little bit like a roly poly, 00:01:32.678 --> 00:01:34.914 and you just kind of collapse in on yourself. 00:01:34.914 --> 00:01:38.683 Like one little kind of thing that you get fixated on 00:01:38.683 --> 00:01:42.386 and then it just kind of starts to spin and spin and spin 00:01:42.386 --> 00:01:45.659 around you until you kind of feel like you can't control 00:01:45.659 --> 00:01:48.880 all the things that are worrying you anymore. 00:01:51.829 --> 00:01:53.865 - I have obsessive compulsive disorder, 00:01:53.865 --> 00:01:57.868 to me that's always felt like having a separate 00:01:57.868 --> 00:02:00.539 cloud of a mind outside of my own mind. 00:02:00.539 --> 00:02:03.905 Sort of a buzzing gray hive of thoughts that come 00:02:03.905 --> 00:02:08.746 in and out of my own brain, and can be busy 00:02:08.746 --> 00:02:11.984 or less busy depending on how I'm feeling on the day. 00:02:11.984 --> 00:02:14.820 - OCD is like a faucet dripping over and over 00:02:14.820 --> 00:02:17.789 and over again, and you keep having all these irrational 00:02:17.789 --> 00:02:19.592 thoughts, and you know they're irrational, 00:02:19.592 --> 00:02:21.092 but you just keep having them. 00:02:21.092 --> 00:02:23.828 And they are so important to you in that moment, 00:02:23.828 --> 00:02:27.050 and it's all led by fear. 00:02:29.701 --> 00:02:33.871 - ADD feels kind of like being this high functioning robot, 00:02:33.871 --> 00:02:36.474 but if you went into the mind of the robot and actually 00:02:36.474 --> 00:02:38.642 learned what the robot is thinking, it's just like 00:02:38.642 --> 00:02:43.048 a bunch of Katy Perry songs and old childhood memories. 00:02:43.048 --> 00:02:46.518 - It has this huge importance to you. 00:02:46.518 --> 00:02:51.189 - This is the thing that actually impacts many, many, 00:02:51.189 --> 00:02:53.859 many people, but people don't actually do anything 00:02:53.859 --> 00:02:56.594 about it because we are trained to think that it's 00:02:56.594 --> 00:02:58.764 not a problem, or it's something that we can control 00:02:58.764 --> 00:03:00.333 when sometimes it actually isn't. 00:03:00.333 --> 00:03:02.300 - There is a lot of beauty that can come out of it. 00:03:02.300 --> 00:03:04.201 There are strengths to it for sure, and I think a lot of 00:03:04.201 --> 00:03:09.201 creative people especially, have figured out ways to 00:03:09.243 --> 00:03:13.862 connect ideas and use it in a creative sort of way.