WEBVTT Kind: captions Language: en 00:00:00.213 --> 00:00:03.488 - I'm excited to drink some hot, chunky goo. 00:00:05.202 --> 00:00:06.935 - A little nauseous, 'cause they all kinda look like 00:00:06.935 --> 00:00:09.420 an animal had diarrhea. 00:00:14.116 --> 00:00:15.486 - This smells like Almond Joy. 00:00:16.326 --> 00:00:17.854 - I think this is coconut. 00:00:17.854 --> 00:00:20.106 - All right, it's coconut-y. 00:00:20.106 --> 00:00:20.988 - Mounds. 00:00:20.988 --> 00:00:24.136 - I kind of like Mounds better as a drink. 00:00:25.837 --> 00:00:26.691 - Number two. 00:00:26.691 --> 00:00:28.316 - This looks awful. 00:00:28.316 --> 00:00:29.454 - Gettin' a lotta crunch. 00:00:29.454 --> 00:00:31.636 - Either that, or like boiled beetles. 00:00:31.636 --> 00:00:33.471 - Exceptionally chunky. 00:00:33.471 --> 00:00:38.068 - Mmm, (scared laughing) I'm not excited about this one. 00:00:38.068 --> 00:00:40.599 - Sorry, I have a spoonful of mostly soggy peanuts. 00:00:40.599 --> 00:00:42.062 - I'm just gonna go with, say, Snickers? 00:00:42.062 --> 00:00:44.235 - Snickers has that many whole peanuts in it? 00:00:47.026 --> 00:00:48.884 - This one looks cute. 00:00:48.884 --> 00:00:51.461 - There's almost no smell, which is really alarming. 00:00:51.461 --> 00:00:52.413 - It's a little more gunky. 00:00:52.413 --> 00:00:53.945 - What is in here? 00:00:53.945 --> 00:00:55.654 Oh my God. 00:00:56.286 --> 00:01:00.646 (tasting sounds) 00:01:00.832 --> 00:01:02.806 - There's something frothy about it. 00:01:02.806 --> 00:01:04.733 - It's almost like a gross poop latté. 00:01:04.733 --> 00:01:06.501 - It's like a marshmallow, I think. 00:01:06.501 --> 00:01:07.937 - When you clean out your garbage disposal. 00:01:07.937 --> 00:01:10.096 - That one leaves a really strong mouth coating. 00:01:10.096 --> 00:01:11.443 - I'm gonna say Three Musketeers. 00:01:11.443 --> 00:01:15.251 - Three Musketeers is just (bleep) (bleep) Milky Way. 00:01:15.251 --> 00:01:16.528 There, I said it. 00:01:16.528 --> 00:01:18.701 - I'm very proud of myself for this. 00:01:20.169 --> 00:01:21.933 - Are there noodles in this? 00:01:21.933 --> 00:01:24.441 - There's literally pasta snakes of caramel. 00:01:24.441 --> 00:01:26.159 - It seems like more gelatinous. 00:01:26.159 --> 00:01:27.924 - I can't even pick it up with my spoon. 00:01:27.924 --> 00:01:29.470 - It's the consistency of steak fat. 00:01:29.470 --> 00:01:30.641 - I don't like anything about that. 00:01:30.641 --> 00:01:32.114 - So I'm just trying to think of a candy bar 00:01:32.114 --> 00:01:34.518 that has tasteless fettuccine strips in it. 00:01:34.518 --> 00:01:36.376 - Ew. What are you? 00:01:36.376 --> 00:01:37.653 I don't know what you are. 00:01:37.653 --> 00:01:38.883 Wait a minute. I have an idea. 00:01:38.883 --> 00:01:40.794 - The wafer 00:01:40.794 --> 00:01:44.394 becomes a sponge in the worst way. 00:01:44.394 --> 00:01:47.660 - I'd pay like $15 for this at a restaurant. 00:01:49.030 --> 00:01:50.228 - Oh, what? 00:01:50.228 --> 00:01:52.132 - What the (bleep) are you? 00:01:52.132 --> 00:01:54.082 - What's living in the bottom of this? 00:01:54.082 --> 00:01:55.545 - Oh my God, there's a baby in here. 00:01:55.545 --> 00:01:57.194 - I don't know if I wanna taste this. 00:01:57.194 --> 00:01:59.260 - This looks like someone's organ removed. 00:01:59.260 --> 00:02:01.164 - Exactly what a 12-year-old boy wants 00:02:01.164 --> 00:02:02.487 after having a snowball fight. 00:02:02.487 --> 00:02:03.801 That was perfect. 00:02:03.801 --> 00:02:04.966 Like, that straight-up looked like 00:02:04.966 --> 00:02:08.339 those little monster figurines in "Ernest Scared Stupid". 00:02:08.339 --> 00:02:10.108 I think this is first time we ever get to reference 00:02:10.108 --> 00:02:11.798 an Ernest film in a taste test, 00:02:11.798 --> 00:02:13.749 but I'm thrilled about it. 00:02:13.749 --> 00:02:17.266 - This has truly been a terrible experience. 00:02:17.807 --> 00:02:19.218 (laughing) 00:02:21.804 --> 00:02:22.507 Oo.