- I couldn't wait to grow a beard.
I felt like that was a true marker
of what it meant to be a man.
In part, probably 'cause my dad had a beard.
And aren't we all just trying to be our dads?
(soft music)
- Growing up, you always like question your masculinity.
- I've definitely questioned my gender before.
- I've always felt like a man,
but not sure if I've always been like a manly man.
- I have been made to feel less than a man
for a good chunk of my life.
- I started really questioning whether I was or not.
- I tried fantasy football.
I'm bad at it, I hate it,
but I felt like if I didn't participate
in my school's fantasy football group,
that I wasn't a dude.
- I had this pink salmon lunchbox that I really liked.
I was made fun of it.
Both boys and girls told me that I shouldn't have that,
and so, that was the last time I ever used that lunchbox.
- My girlfriend's dad said I wasn't a real man.
When he said that, he was referring to the fact
that he didn't think that I could be the man of the house
if I were to marry his daughter.
- You know it's those microaggressions and macroaggressions
that constantly wear at you, that start making you question
your right to be called a man.
- Different points of my life, I've been self-conscious
of aspects of myself physically
because I felt like it was an indication
that I wasn't man enough.
- Growing up a skinny kid, like definitely,
felt a little weaker.
- As a short guy, everyone has remarked at how small I am.
- I'm kinda skinny and lanky and awkward.
If I could change a part of my body,
I'd definitely add some muscle mass.
- Because muscles make a man.
A muscular man with a six pack is an ideal.
- My physical form, I've worked really hard
for it to look this way.
- Getting stronger is amazing.
The muscles starting to form.
The look, the confidence.
- A real man, I guess, is anyone that identifies as a man
that is not imaginary.
- If you take away all these societal expectations.
- Protects women.
- Take up a lot of space.
- Needs to be tough.
- Can't cry.
- Cannot be gay.
You really don't have anything else
besides just someone that identifies as a guy.
- Because when we think too polemically
about what makes a man or what makes a woman,
we erase all of the like giant space
of what makes a person.