WEBVTT Kind: captions Language: en 00:00:00.050 --> 00:00:01.374 - I couldn't wait to grow a beard. 00:00:01.374 --> 00:00:03.269 I felt like that was a true marker 00:00:03.269 --> 00:00:05.098 of what it meant to be a man. 00:00:05.098 --> 00:00:07.671 In part, probably 'cause my dad had a beard. 00:00:07.671 --> 00:00:10.091 And aren't we all just trying to be our dads? 00:00:10.091 --> 00:00:13.796 (soft music) 00:00:13.796 --> 00:00:16.671 - Growing up, you always like question your masculinity. 00:00:16.671 --> 00:00:18.918 - I've definitely questioned my gender before. 00:00:18.918 --> 00:00:21.236 - I've always felt like a man, 00:00:21.236 --> 00:00:24.621 but not sure if I've always been like a manly man. 00:00:24.621 --> 00:00:29.004 - I have been made to feel less than a man 00:00:29.004 --> 00:00:30.629 for a good chunk of my life. 00:00:30.629 --> 00:00:33.387 - I started really questioning whether I was or not. 00:00:33.387 --> 00:00:34.869 - I tried fantasy football. 00:00:34.869 --> 00:00:36.235 I'm bad at it, I hate it, 00:00:36.235 --> 00:00:37.837 but I felt like if I didn't participate 00:00:37.837 --> 00:00:39.522 in my school's fantasy football group, 00:00:39.522 --> 00:00:40.631 that I wasn't a dude. 00:00:40.631 --> 00:00:44.318 - I had this pink salmon lunchbox that I really liked. 00:00:44.318 --> 00:00:45.219 I was made fun of it. 00:00:45.219 --> 00:00:48.586 Both boys and girls told me that I shouldn't have that, 00:00:48.586 --> 00:00:51.647 and so, that was the last time I ever used that lunchbox. 00:00:51.647 --> 00:00:55.008 - My girlfriend's dad said I wasn't a real man. 00:00:55.008 --> 00:00:56.699 When he said that, he was referring to the fact 00:00:56.699 --> 00:00:59.671 that he didn't think that I could be the man of the house 00:00:59.671 --> 00:01:01.110 if I were to marry his daughter. 00:01:01.110 --> 00:01:03.126 - You know it's those microaggressions and macroaggressions 00:01:03.126 --> 00:01:06.209 that constantly wear at you, that start making you question 00:01:06.209 --> 00:01:07.922 your right to be called a man. 00:01:07.922 --> 00:01:09.984 - Different points of my life, I've been self-conscious 00:01:09.984 --> 00:01:12.696 of aspects of myself physically 00:01:12.696 --> 00:01:14.460 because I felt like it was an indication 00:01:14.460 --> 00:01:15.969 that I wasn't man enough. 00:01:15.969 --> 00:01:18.036 - Growing up a skinny kid, like definitely, 00:01:18.036 --> 00:01:19.321 felt a little weaker. 00:01:19.321 --> 00:01:22.720 - As a short guy, everyone has remarked at how small I am. 00:01:22.720 --> 00:01:25.130 - I'm kinda skinny and lanky and awkward. 00:01:25.130 --> 00:01:26.407 If I could change a part of my body, 00:01:26.407 --> 00:01:27.935 I'd definitely add some muscle mass. 00:01:27.935 --> 00:01:29.514 - Because muscles make a man. 00:01:29.514 --> 00:01:32.203 A muscular man with a six pack is an ideal. 00:01:32.203 --> 00:01:34.195 - My physical form, I've worked really hard 00:01:34.195 --> 00:01:35.932 for it to look this way. 00:01:35.932 --> 00:01:37.766 - Getting stronger is amazing. 00:01:37.766 --> 00:01:39.527 The muscles starting to form. 00:01:39.527 --> 00:01:41.008 The look, the confidence. 00:01:41.008 --> 00:01:44.300 - A real man, I guess, is anyone that identifies as a man 00:01:44.300 --> 00:01:45.618 that is not imaginary. 00:01:45.618 --> 00:01:48.075 - If you take away all these societal expectations. 00:01:48.075 --> 00:01:49.092 - Protects women. 00:01:49.092 --> 00:01:50.340 - Take up a lot of space. 00:01:50.340 --> 00:01:51.223 - Needs to be tough. 00:01:51.223 --> 00:01:52.114 - Can't cry. 00:01:52.114 --> 00:01:53.317 - Cannot be gay. 00:01:53.317 --> 00:01:54.566 You really don't have anything else 00:01:54.566 --> 00:01:57.417 besides just someone that identifies as a guy. 00:01:57.417 --> 00:01:59.553 - Because when we think too polemically 00:01:59.553 --> 00:02:02.753 about what makes a man or what makes a woman, 00:02:02.753 --> 00:02:07.396 we erase all of the like giant space 00:02:07.396 --> 00:02:09.035 of what makes a person.