- I was like trying to put this binder on
in the bathroom at work and it just stuck.
Like this.
Straight up.
I was like, just trapped.
(acoustic guitar music)
- A binder is like a chest compressor
that sort of just compacts everything down.
- So I remember being anxious, but also really excited,
because I wasn't really comfortable wearing like
you know, white tees, or certain shirts
because it would show my chest before top surgery,
and that caused a lot of anxiety.
- Putting it over my head and my friend said
be careful, cause you will get stuck.
- I got really stuck.
And then I was like in some position like (groaning)
and I like couldn't get an arm,
and it was very uncomfortable.
- First off, I had gotten the wrong size.
Way too small.
I didn't know how to put it on, I didn't really understand
how one is supposed to get into this armor.
- It all felt like everything had just bunched
in the middle, and then I couldn't breathe.
- Some binders will push all of your fat down
into your belly.
And then so you'll have this like giant spare tire.
- The first time I went outside, I felt so happy,
because I looked down at my chest and I feel like
yes, this is what I want, this is what I've wanted.
- Oh my god, like, I don't have, like boobs right now.
This is amazing.
- The way people would see me
was the way I wanted to be seen.
- It felt hot, I felt all the good things.
- And then once I was ready to take it off,
I got super scared, because that is also very difficult.
- My girlfriend helped me get it over my head
so I wouldn't get stuck again.
- If you're gonna do it, definitely go to a binding,
a company that makes binders.
No ace bandages or anything like that.
- Don't use duct tape.
Unless you want your skin to rip off,
oh my god don't use duct tape please.
- Find community, where you feel comfortable
and safe talking about it.
Whether that's in person or online.
(acoustic guitar music)