WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en

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- No recipe.

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This is great 'cause I've definitely done

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this many times before.

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(dramatic music)

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- I don't bake anything at all.

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(upbeat 60's English music)

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- Actually, I don't cook at all

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so if my dad watches this,

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he's gonna be super proud of me.

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- Okay, I'm gonna kill this.

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- I'll be using two eggs.

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'Cause it always takes two to tango.

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- Wait, your not telling me anything?

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- I know you need flour.

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- Are you kidding?

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Wait, you're serious?

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- These eggs are warm by the way.

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It's probably fine.

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- Put the spatula in the bowl,

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you know what I'm say'in.

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- I really like cookie dough,

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so, I usually just eat
all the cookie dough,

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instead of actually making them.

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- Yeah, this is how you bake.

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You just throw shit in a bowl,

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and hope that it turns out okay.

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- These cookies are about
to be vanilla-y as [bleep].

00:00:56.844 --> 00:00:59.423
- Baking soda is a powder that you put

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into things that you are going to bake.

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- Definitely failing right now.

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- Brown sugar, and I have white sugar,

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and I am quite the fan of
interracial relationships so,

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I'm just gonna throw both in here.

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- I'm trying to get it

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to look like cookie dough consistency.

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(laughing)

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- I don't have a knife, so I'm just gonna

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cut it with my hands.

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- I'm gonna do one cup.

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Okay, little too much.

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- This is not that bad.

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- I did such a good job.

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- I feel like I'm a caveman creating fire

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for the first time.

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- Oh, snap.

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- You wanna lick the spoon?

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- A lot of people like think
that they're good at baking,

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but they're really not.

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- This is why I don't bake.

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- Wow, its getting hot in here.

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- Ah, ah, um dang.

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- Nah, nah.

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- No, it's not really cooked.

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- Oh my god, these are so good.

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- Its not bad; its not, its
definitely not a cookie.

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- I probably should learn how to cook.

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- Yeah, I learned respect grandmas,

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never take the instructions
on packaging for granted.

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- If I was on a deserted kitchen set

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in the middle of a studio,

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and had all of these ingredients,

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in front of me.

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I could make some pretty bomb cookies.

