WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en

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(logo whooshes)

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(hinge squeaks)

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(bright instrumental music)

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- [Woman] When I play games
on my phone, I turn the volume

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way up because it confuses my cat.

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- [Man] My dog hates when
I use her as a pillow

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but will always me as one.

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I'm sure my head is not that heavy.

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- [Woman] My dog is scared of my vibrator

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so when she bugs me, I
chase her around the house

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with it on.

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- [Man] Sometimes I make
strange obnoxious noises

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just to annoy my cats.

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- [Woman] My dog hates
when I have wet hair.

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He looks at me like I'm
really offending him.

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- [Man] My dog knows when
I'm taking a pic of him

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and he hates it.

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- [Woman] I torture my dog
by eating a cheeseburger

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really slow, she stares
at me the whole time.

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- [Man] My cat gets annoyed when I laugh

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and it's weirdly hilarious and adorable.

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- [Woman] When I can't
sleep, I bother my dog

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to make sure she stays awake with me.

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It's not fair that she
gets to sleep and I can't.

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- [Man] I torture my dog
by putting him in a room

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with a see-through door
and petting my other dog

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right in front of him, he hates it,

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and I know I'm a bad
person but it's funny.

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- [Woman] I watch musicals
with my dog and sing to her.

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She hates it.

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- [Man] I started setting
alarms around three and 4 a.m.,

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just to get up and wake
up and annoy my cat.

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He hates me and wakes me up

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around eight and nine every morning.

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It's a battle.

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(whimsical instrumental music)

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(logo whooshes)
(hinge squeaks)