- What's the deal with Santa?
So breaking and entering is okay
as long as it's a chubby white dude?
And he's eating your mama's cookies?
Uh-uh.
Uh-um.
- When are you gonna stop asking me
if I pray five times a day?
That's so mean.
'Cause I don't.
I feel guilty.
- Why must you put bacon in everything?
- Bacon infuse donuts?
Come on now.
- Is this water safe to drink?
There's back on in this water, huh?
- Do you really think women wearing a hijab
don't have hair underneath?
Do you think that when you see someone with a beanie?
A hat?
A hoodie?
- Why do you think all Muslims are Arab?
- There aren't one billion people in the Middle East.
That's geographically, physically,
intellectually impossible.
- Why are only Muslims mentioned in talks
about religious extremism?
Did you all forget about the KKK?
Westboro Baptist Church?
Crusades?
We all have the bad seeds in the family.
- Why do you assume all Muslim women
are conservative virginal souls?
And I am if my mom's watching.
- Why do you expect every Muslim woman to wear a head scarf?
Does every Catholic woman dress like a nun?
Does every Jewish man wear a yamaka?
Does every Shrek wear a tunic?
- Are you really scared that we're gonna
take over America with Sharia Law?
I can barely wake up for fajar,
let alone wage a holy war.
- Do you really think I wanna donate two point five percent
of my income to charity?
Nah, that's hella McChickens.
- What is the secret ingredient in Church's chicken?
It's so good.
- How can I hang out with the new Pope?
'Cause he is dope.