- Hey everyone.
It's me, your friend Matt.
I just filmed an episode of Whine About It so I'm trashed.
Legally speaking.
In case you hadn't heard,
I'm nominated for a People's Choice Award
for favorite social media star,
which means you have to vote for me
if you want me to win,
which you should
because I deserve this.
So to help you make your decision,
I put together a list of the top 10 reasons
I should win a People's Choice Award.
Alright, here we go.
One,
so I can go to the awards and I can meet Meryl Streep
and then I can convince her
that we should live together,
cuddling in our goose feather bed
in our cottage down by the river.
Two,
so I can use it as a pickup line at bars
and then I can have something hard to hold onto at night
when I get rejected.
Three,
so I can cut in line at Mcdonald's
because fact, every award winner
gets to go to the front of the line at Mcdonald's
and they can order whatever they want.
You can ask Mcdonald's and they'll tell you
Matt can come to our store whenever he wants.
He can cut to the front of the line if he's an award winner,
which I plan on being.
Four,
so I can use it to cut my fine cheese
or to stab someone.
Five,
because Justin Timberlake shouldn't have
more awards than me.
If we're being honest here,
it's time that we even this shit out, Justin.
I'm sick of it.
Six,
what happens if I go to the bathroom at the awards show
and Chris Pratt sees me and I don't have an award?
And then Chris Pratt is like who's this
loaf of Wonder Bread without an award?
Seven,
so I can tell my doctor that I've been drinking
a whole bottle of wine a week
and it's not an unnecessary medical nightmare
on my path to self destruction.
Eight,
so I can wear fancy dress and heels
and then I get on stage and the fashion police is like
(gasps) who is she?
Then it's me.
Nine,
so I can meet Zac Efron and convince him
to let me sleep at the end of his bed.
And 10,
because if I don't win, I'll stop making videos.
I swear to god, I'll shut this shit down
so fast if I don't win.
You watch me.
I'll put an end to it.
And that's why I should win People's Choice Award
for favorite social media star.
Thank you for watching.
I'll see you next time.
♫ Ba-da-bup-ada,
♫ ba-da-bup-ada,
♫ ba-da-bup-ada-ba-ba♫