- In-N-Out's top five burger, okay.
- Yeah, absolutely.
- It's sure as (beep) not Shake Shack, though.
- (laughs) No way.
(jaunty rock music)
- I'm from the East Coast and I'm here to rep
the one and only Shake Shack,
the one burger that matters.
- Oh my god.
- Born on In-N-Out, raised on In-N-Out,
straight up eat In-N-Out every day.
- There's just nothing special about the Shake Shack burger.
- Oh my (beep) god.
- I'm taking everything very personally.
- First of all, this bun is burnt.
- This bun is crispy golden.
- This bun, horse (beep) compared to this soft potato bun.
- What are these buns made out of?
- Right? Oh my god!
Look at his face.
- It's a little salty.
- You can barely see the burger in here,
and then look at this, it's overflowing.
- The circumference of the Shake Shack burger
is smaller than the In-N-Out burger.
- I promise you, there is twice the amount of meat
in this even smaller burger than this one.
- Well, I hope there's double the meat
cuz it's double the price of an In-N-Out burger.
- So you can get a double cheeseburger
for less than one regular burger.
- I would call this a public sauce
as opposed to a delicious secret sauce.
- It's wet, it's drooling on me.
I don't like my burgers to drool on me.
I like them to be a little bit more composed.
- Mmm, fresh.
(laughs)
Mmm, New Jersey.
- Oh cool, here's my one fry. Yay!
- Yeah, you wanna friggin eat that. (gobbles)
- Props to In-N-Out.
They throw a potato right in a machine, they crank it there,
two seconds later it's in a bath of hot oil.
I think that makes them a little bland.
- This is delicious sauce, secret sauce.
- This is congealed baby vomit.
- I do like the Shake Shack fries.
- In-N-Out fries suck so bad.
That's why they had to cover it
with all this animal-style nonsense.
- They're not flavorful, or crunchy.
- I'm gonna dip it in my sauce.
- No, do not contaminate it like that.
(moans) That is so rude.
- I need to mash it up, and pour some gravy on it.
That's the only way that this is edible.
- Fry round, I have to give it to Shake Shack.
- This one's more fast foody,
this one's more like wow,
did this come from an expensive,
over-priced ice cream store?
- Do they have Bible verses?
No, these are pagan shakes.
- Also it's a boring cup.
- Oh, look at this! (hums sarcastically)
Cool, we get it California, for the past sixty (beep) years.
- If I had only one arm
to carry a milkshake with down the street,
I'd pick up the Shake Shack one.
- This kinda breaks me, but I have to say Shake Shack.
- Have you ever had a Neopolitan one from In-N-Out?
- No. - Mmm!
- Is that one of the secret things?
See that's what I love about a restaurant,
"Hey, our good food's secret!"
Ugh, how fun.
- I think it's cool, it makes me feel like a spy.
- Do you think Jesus would've
gifted his disciples with In-N-Out?
- Yes.
And then Judas probably got Shake Shack.
- That's not true. (laughs)