WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en

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- All right, mom I gotta go.

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I have to pick Jackson up

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and I gotta find my phone.

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Yes, I realize I'm on the phone!

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- We are supposed to tell mommy

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when it's somebody's birthday

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because now we don't
have a gift for Jessica

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and she's gonna think I'm a bad mommy.

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Oh, do you still play with this?

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Tag's still on it.

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- Gross cold coffee.

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And there's yesterday's.

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- What, I don't feel like washing a glass.

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- Yeah, yeah, I'm on my way.

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Yeah, I'm in the car already.

00:00:30.608 --> 00:00:32.521
Yeah, no, I'll be there, oh.

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I'll be there in a second.

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Uh-huh, yeah, no, totally.

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I'll remember the muffins.

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- Where?

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Oh!

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This is the one we already had.

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Where's your other shoe?

00:00:42.182 --> 00:00:43.349
(upbeat music)

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- What?

00:00:48.648 --> 00:00:49.482
Oh my God.

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Oh my God, I'm on my way!

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- (bleep), I'm so late.

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- Oh my God, God dammit,

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get mommy's keys, we're late.

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Get in the car!

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- Oh God, what is that?

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(bleep) Still in my pyjamas?

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Whatever.

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- Who has time to make muffins

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for a bake sale anyway, right.

00:01:09.053 --> 00:01:09.996
- Karen.

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- Karen, oh (bleep) Karen's coming.

00:01:12.452 --> 00:01:14.004
- Store bought ladies?

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- Only the best.

00:01:16.252 --> 00:01:18.399
- Karen's a real bitch,
you know what I'm saying?

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- I'm Karen, I do kegels every day.

00:01:20.895 --> 00:01:22.351
- I do kegels every day,

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I'm such a good mom, I've
never dropped my kid.