WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en

00:00:00.138 --> 00:00:04.859
(bouncy, acoustic strumming)

00:00:05.679 --> 00:00:08.340
- We got Valentine's Day comin' up.

00:00:08.340 --> 00:00:11.736
I want to be the best
boyfriend ever this year.

00:00:11.736 --> 00:00:13.485
I'm thinking quiet night at home,

00:00:13.485 --> 00:00:14.994
make her favorite meal,

00:00:14.994 --> 00:00:17.136
cuddle up next to the fireplace.

00:00:17.136 --> 00:00:17.717
- Good for you.

00:00:17.717 --> 00:00:19.312
That sounds really simple.

00:00:19.312 --> 00:00:20.553
You know what I'm gonna do?

00:00:20.553 --> 00:00:22.817
I'm planning a romantic picnic in the park

00:00:22.817 --> 00:00:25.243
followed by ice skating.

00:00:25.243 --> 00:00:28.588
- Oh, I used to love ice skating
back when I was like five.

00:00:28.588 --> 00:00:30.478
You know what I'm gonna do?

00:00:30.478 --> 00:00:32.300
Her favorite band's gonna
be in town that weekend.

00:00:32.300 --> 00:00:33.958
I think I'll get tickets to the show,

00:00:33.958 --> 00:00:35.946
and then afterwards get a couple's massage

00:00:35.946 --> 00:00:38.083
performed by the band.

00:00:38.083 --> 00:00:38.943
- Oh wow.

00:00:38.943 --> 00:00:41.821
I hope the band washes
their hands after the show.

00:00:41.821 --> 00:00:44.223
You know what I'm gonna do?

00:00:44.223 --> 00:00:45.988
I'm renting a cabin in the mountains

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so we can go skiing together on snow

00:00:48.763 --> 00:00:51.375
I made with a snow machine.

00:00:51.375 --> 00:00:54.170
- I really hope she
doesn't get frost bite.

00:00:54.170 --> 00:00:56.291
You know what I'm going to do?

00:00:56.291 --> 00:00:58.022
We're gonna go to the San Diego Zoo,

00:00:58.022 --> 00:00:59.961
take pictures with all the animals.

00:00:59.961 --> 00:01:02.118
She loves animals.

00:01:02.118 --> 00:01:04.093
And then we're gonna set 'em all free.

00:01:04.093 --> 00:01:05.104
- Oh my goodness.

00:01:05.104 --> 00:01:06.704
That sounds really dangerous.

00:01:06.704 --> 00:01:08.506
You know what I'm gonna do?

00:01:08.506 --> 00:01:09.830
I'm renting a hot air balloon

00:01:09.830 --> 00:01:12.361
so we can go ballooning over the Alps

00:01:12.361 --> 00:01:17.273
while projecting her
favorite movie on the clouds.

00:01:17.273 --> 00:01:21.177
- Well I hope she doesn't get
hit in the face with a bird.

00:01:21.177 --> 00:01:22.783
You know what I'm gonna do?

00:01:22.783 --> 00:01:24.734
(low chanting, bouncy music)

00:01:24.734 --> 00:01:26.838
I'm gonna propose.

00:01:26.838 --> 00:01:27.896
- God dammit!

00:01:27.896 --> 00:01:28.638
(ringing)

00:01:28.638 --> 00:01:29.138
- Congratulations.

00:01:29.138 --> 00:01:30.878
You've won the best boyfriend award.

00:01:30.878 --> 00:01:31.820
(laughing)

00:01:31.820 --> 00:01:33.136
- Ye-he-hah!

00:01:33.136 --> 00:01:35.016
Suck it sucka!

00:01:35.016 --> 00:01:39.806
(bouncy electronic jazz music)

00:01:40.763 --> 00:01:41.930
(creaking)