(upbeat guitar music)
- Hi, I'm Hannah, your friendly neighborhood wine mom
and if you're anything like me, you believe
that a glass of wine at eight PM makes you a better mom.
So pour yourself a glass and let's talk.
Tonight, we're drinking rose,
because I'm always drinking rose.
What else am I gonna drink?
Rose all day.
A topic that runs rampant in the comments
of all of these videos is discipline.
How do I discipline kids?
How do I deal with difficult children?
So tonight's topic, the best way to discipline kids.
And I know because I am a certified mom.
I have been certified by the board of certifiers of moms.
First, context.
Whenever I'm about to punish my children,
I have to make the decision,
are they misbehaving or are they just acting their age?
My oldest son is four.
He likes to do stuff himself.
He likes to get his own glasses of water.
That's his new thing.
So he gets on his little step stool
and gets water out of the filtered spout next to our sink,
but he always fills his water cup
up to the very top of the brim,
and then he spills it everywhere
so there's puddles of water all over the house
whenever he tries to get his own water.
But I'm not gonna punish him for that
because he's four and that's normal.
On the other hand, if he thinks I'm not looking,
he'll give his younger brother a big shove.
Kids need to learn that we see everything,
so I know that that's happening and I see it,
and he will get in trouble for that
because spilling water, just being a kid.
Pushing your brother, just being a jerk.
Sounds like bumping music outside.
What?
There are like a bunch of crazy teens in my neighborhood.
That's normal.
They're gonna blast their music to a douche-y level.
Next, what?
I never use the one two three method.
I've done it several times,
and I'll get all the way to three
but I realize that I haven't thought it out
to even figure out what's gonna happen when I get to three,
so when I do, it's just like, okay.
It totally loses its effectiveness
if there's no follow through on what's gonna happen
so instead, I bought this shirt
and it had this phrase on it that I read
and was just like, this really speaks to me,
and it says, "I say what, not because I didn't hear you
"but because I'm giving you a chance
"to change what you just said."
It's in very small letters.
And so I say that to every crappy thing my kid says.
He'll be like, you're the meanest mom ever
when I don't give him three cookies instead of two,
and I'll turn around and be like, "What?"
And he's like, oh, I'm just kidding.
These two cookies are great.
It gives them a chance to correct themselves
before they get punished, which I think is very important.
My hand is making it warm.
I have to hold onto the stem.
I've seen that in the comments.
People are like, hold the stem and the wine won't get warm.
Thank you.
Next, lead by example.
I always try to act in the way
that I expect my children to act.
I want them to use manners, so I always use manners
when I'm interacting with them.
If I ask them to do something, I'll say please.
If they do it, I say thank you.
I see a lot of parents who don't do that
and they just kind of bark orders at their kids
and expect them to use manners and be polite,
and I don't think that's right.
If I'm talking to my husband, I'll say, hi,
how was your day, how are you doing, what's going on?
And so when I come home from work and I see my four year old
the first thing he asks me is, how was your day, mom?
And it's just the most heartwarming thing.
Can you believe a four year old is asking me
and cares enough, but it's because he sees it
in the way that his parents behave with other people.
If on top of that, he came up to me with a glass of wine
and said, hey, mom, how was your day?
That would just be...
I'm just kidding.
I'm not gonna teach my kid to pour wine for me.
Next, offer choices.
I'll offer him choices of two things he doesn't like,
and therefore, he will feel like he's in control
but still ends up doing both things that he doesn't like.
Do you wanna brush your teeth first or take a bath?
Do you wanna eat this carrot first or this broccoli first?
He gets to pick.
You pick whatever piece of crap you want.
This is some low key manipulation that I like to do,
and I'm pretty sure that this is a tactic
they use in the FBI or something like that
when they're interrogating people,
but it works just as well for kids.
And sometimes, there are the rare instances
when the child will say something like, neither.
I don't wanna do either one.
I don't wanna take a bath, I don't wanna brush my teeth.
I don't wanna eat carrots, I don't wanna eat broccoli.
And that's when you pull out the what.
It all fits together in this intricate web of discipline.
No burps this episode.
Next, go easy on yourself.
Yeah, I want my kids to be disciplined properly,
but in a situation where I'm about to lose my shit,
I gotta give up, I gotta throw in the towel,
raise the white flag, whatever.
As a parent, you're not gonna win every battle
and that's fine.
Nobody's perfect, no kid is perfect, no parent is perfect.
No discipline is perfect,
which leads us to our very final and ultimate rule
when it comes to disciplining kids.
Don't take unsolicited advice from complete strangers.
There's so many parents who are willing to just like
bark their discipline tactics as truth,
and that's not true because each child is different.
Every parent is different.
Every relationship is different.
Everything is different as far as what works,
and if you're about to share this video with the caption,
"Oh, she doesn't know anything about discipline,
"this doesn't work,"
jokes on you because I really don't.
What do I know?
I don't know your kids.
I don't know you, I don't know anything.
This is the discipline method that works for me.
It might not work for you.
It might work for somebody else.
Bottom line with discipline,
if what you have is working, keep doing it,
unless you're spanking your kids
because that shit is really weird.
Just save that for the bedroom.
I'm sorry, y'all, but I really do love you.
So that's all I've got for today.
I'm Hannah, your friendly neighborhood wine mom
and if there's a method of discipline
that particularly works for you,
whether you're a babysitter or a nanny or a parent
or whatever you are, leave it in the comments.
But be nice, 'cause if you're not nice,
we can't be best friends.
See what I did there with my discipline method?
If you do this, then you can't have this, right?
So I'm probably going to finish this little
what's left of rose,
and go have a dance party with my husband
because that's what cool parents do.
Till next time.
It's easier without a glass.
I don't like washing wine glasses.