- Look me in my eyes and listen.
Birthdays are tricky affairs.
(suspenseful music)
Everyone wants their time to feel celebrated, special.
I work at an internet content company
with 23 other coworkers.
That means 24 birthdays, where at precisely 4pm,
a box from Bellywise Bakers is delivered to the front door.
A box of birthday cookies, 23 chocolate chip, one blue.
That blue cookie is a blue velvet
orgastic chip cookie, Bellywise's specialty.
You can't buy one, you only get one on your birthday.
But every birthday, I'm telling you,
the receptionist grabs it.
No matter whose birthday it is, no matter what people say,
he eats the blue velvet orgastic chip cookie.
Until September 16th.
September 16th is my birthday, and I wanna feel celebrated.
- Happy birthday, Henry.
Sorry Tony took the blue velvet orgastic chip cookie.
- I know, they're so good.
- But Tony always takes it.
- It's not right.
- Next week's my birthday, and damn it,
I want that blue velvet orgastic chip cookie.
I have a plan, but I need your help to do it.
Your cut will be half of the
blue velvet orgastic chip cookie.
You in?
- Why me?
- I trust you to do the right thing.
Let's go.
- [Henry] All right, where are we going?
(suspenseful music)
- Hey, Tony.
Did I get any birthday packages today?
- I don't know, let me check.
Happy birthday.
- Thanks, can I borrow some scissors?
Thanks.
- [Henry] Hey, Colby, whatcha got there?
- A birthday package from my mom.
(phone rings)
- Hey, Tony.
Why don't you let me take care of these?
- Yeah, it sounds like there's a phone call.
- Phone can wait, it's birthday cookie time.
(Henry wheezes)
- Tony, I really think you should answer the phone.
- What are you doing? Let go!
- I'm taking these to the break room.
It's Colby's birthday.
- This is my job!
- [Henry] No, this is not your job,
your job is to get fucked! (phone rings)
- [Tony] I distribute cookies.
- [Henry] Just go answer the phone,
just go answer the phone!
Do your job! - [Tony] I can't!
- [Tony] This is my job, I distribute cookies!
- [Henry] That's not your-- - [Tony] It is!
(box falls heavily)
- No no no, wait, listen, listen!
This was all Colby's idea, okay?
He wanted me to steal the blue velvet orgastic chip cookie
so that he and I could split it.
- The birthday bastard!
- Yeah yeah, but look, let's, let's stop fighting...
and you and I can split the cookie.
- Forget it, that cookie is mine.
- Look, look, look, if, look, look, look,
if I don't get half of this blue velvet
orgastic chip cookie, I will ruin this entire box!
- Okay, fine, we'll split it.
Just don't ruin that blue velvet orgastic chip cookie.
- One, two, - [both together] Three.
- [Henry] Huh?
What?
- [Tony] Oh, no.
- Did I get any birthday packages today?
- Happy birthday.
- Thanks, can I borrow some scissors?
- Why don't you let me take care of these?
- Yeah, it sounds like there's a phone call.
- Phone can wait, it's birthday cookie time!
(angry spluttering)
- [Henry] Stop spinning.
- Colby.
- Look into my eyes and listen.
Birthdays are tricky affairs.
(suspenseful music)
(triumphant music)
(modem noise)