WEBVTT Kind: captions Language: en 00:00:01.398 --> 00:00:03.923 (door hinge squeaks) 00:00:03.923 --> 00:00:06.506 (siren blares) 00:00:09.142 --> 00:00:09.975 (man mumbles) 00:00:09.975 --> 00:00:11.515 - Everything's taken care of 00:00:11.515 --> 00:00:12.484 - Absolutely. 00:00:12.484 --> 00:00:13.543 Hi, Lana. 00:00:13.543 --> 00:00:15.212 Thank you so much for coming in. 00:00:15.212 --> 00:00:17.912 I'm detective Snipes, this is detective Kerry. 00:00:17.912 --> 00:00:21.198 We are currently investigating the murder of Steven Calgary. 00:00:21.198 --> 00:00:22.069 - Ugh, that's like the saddest thing 00:00:22.069 --> 00:00:24.201 to ever happen in history, right? 00:00:24.201 --> 00:00:26.421 - Yeah, it sure is. 00:00:26.421 --> 00:00:28.830 - So, from what we're told, you're dating Steven? 00:00:28.830 --> 00:00:31.613 - Da-ted, we broke up last week. 00:00:31.613 --> 00:00:34.313 It's like a crazy long story, but basically, 00:00:34.313 --> 00:00:37.315 he cheated on me with the ugliest bitch in America. 00:00:37.315 --> 00:00:39.074 She's, like, literally a dog. 00:00:39.074 --> 00:00:40.434 - He cheated on you with a canine? 00:00:40.434 --> 00:00:43.166 - Can you tell us where you were the night of August 20th? 00:00:43.166 --> 00:00:46.254 - Ugh, don't judge me, but I was at Burger King. 00:00:46.254 --> 00:00:48.704 I hadn't eaten in, like, a year. 00:00:48.704 --> 00:00:51.976 - Wait-wait, I'm sorry, you said you hadn't eaten in a year? 00:00:51.976 --> 00:00:54.281 You would be dead if you didn't eat in a year. 00:00:54.281 --> 00:00:56.030 Your story's not adding up, people gotta eat. 00:00:56.030 --> 00:00:57.104 Checkers says it, you gotta eat-- 00:00:57.104 --> 00:00:59.238 - Yes, let her finish. 00:00:59.238 --> 00:01:01.577 So you're at Burger King eating that night. 00:01:01.577 --> 00:01:02.818 Was Steven there? 00:01:02.818 --> 00:01:04.122 - Oh, no. 00:01:04.122 --> 00:01:05.986 - When was the last time you saw Steven? 00:01:05.986 --> 00:01:09.394 - Oh, I haven't seen Steven in like, a hundred years. 00:01:09.394 --> 00:01:11.133 - You said you broke up with him last week, though? 00:01:11.133 --> 00:01:12.297 - I know. 00:01:12.297 --> 00:01:14.227 - Last week is not a hundred years. 00:01:14.227 --> 00:01:15.717 A hundred years is a hundred years. 00:01:15.717 --> 00:01:17.319 - Do you remember the last thing you saw him doing? 00:01:17.319 --> 00:01:19.080 Any person he might have been with? 00:01:19.080 --> 00:01:22.170 - Yes, he was in a fight with, like, 00:01:22.170 --> 00:01:24.459 the tallest man in the world. 00:01:24.459 --> 00:01:26.560 - He was in a fight with Sultan Kösen? 00:01:26.560 --> 00:01:28.138 - [Lana] Who? 00:01:28.138 --> 00:01:29.581 - Sultan Kösen is the tallest man in the world. 00:01:29.581 --> 00:01:32.255 It's a 2007 Guinness Book world record. 00:01:32.255 --> 00:01:34.664 Is it just me, I'm the only one who follows that? 00:01:34.664 --> 00:01:35.784 Sultan Kösen? 00:01:35.784 --> 00:01:37.623 - Do you remember what this tall man looked like? 00:01:37.623 --> 00:01:39.540 - Yes, he was very old. 00:01:41.124 --> 00:01:42.370 - How old? 00:01:42.370 --> 00:01:43.355 - Like a million years old. 00:01:43.355 --> 00:01:44.446 - Cut it, cut it, I'm tired of it-- 00:01:44.446 --> 00:01:45.279 - No, wait, calm down-- 00:01:45.279 --> 00:01:46.112 - Something's not going on here. 00:01:46.112 --> 00:01:46.945 - Calm down, Kerry. 00:01:46.945 --> 00:01:47.778 - Something's not going on! 00:01:47.778 --> 00:01:49.051 - Alright, calm down. 00:01:49.051 --> 00:01:51.405 - [Kerry] Okay, okay, okay. 00:01:51.405 --> 00:01:52.238 (sighs heavily) 00:01:52.238 --> 00:01:54.563 - Okay, Lana, we need some real numbers from you now. 00:01:54.563 --> 00:01:55.489 There's a murderer out there, 00:01:55.489 --> 00:01:57.195 and you can help us bring him in. 00:01:57.195 --> 00:02:01.355 Now, on the night on the fight with this older, tall man, 00:02:01.355 --> 00:02:03.189 do you remember where that was? 00:02:03.189 --> 00:02:05.194 - Over on Oak Street, in front of 00:02:05.194 --> 00:02:08.735 one of the grossest warehouses, with like 50 blue trucks. 00:02:08.735 --> 00:02:10.141 - Okay, blue trucks, it's a number, 00:02:10.141 --> 00:02:11.649 a big number, but a number. 00:02:11.649 --> 00:02:13.327 Look up all blue trucks in the area, 00:02:13.327 --> 00:02:15.218 warehouses, garages, anything. 00:02:15.218 --> 00:02:16.930 Anything else you remember? 00:02:16.930 --> 00:02:18.981 - Don't ask me what I was doing there. 00:02:18.981 --> 00:02:22.017 Second base with Jimmy Leharry. 00:02:22.017 --> 00:02:24.043 - If there's someone else there, we need to talk to him. 00:02:24.043 --> 00:02:25.284 Does Jimmy live in the city? 00:02:25.284 --> 00:02:26.372 - Yes. 00:02:26.372 --> 00:02:27.205 - Where? 00:02:27.205 --> 00:02:28.561 - Like a bajillion miles away. 00:02:28.561 --> 00:02:32.283 - God damn it, I can't do this anymore. 00:02:32.283 --> 00:02:33.116 (Door slams) 00:02:33.116 --> 00:02:35.076 - I had eaten like 50 burgers, and I remember this, 00:02:35.076 --> 00:02:39.145 because Tiffany was joking that I turned into Kevin James, 00:02:39.145 --> 00:02:41.386 and I, like, literally died. 00:02:41.386 --> 00:02:44.019 - If you ate 50 burgers, you would actually, 00:02:44.019 --> 00:02:46.758 literally be dead right now. 00:02:46.758 --> 00:02:47.818 You're not telling us the truth. 00:02:47.818 --> 00:02:50.110 What's really going on, huh? 00:02:50.110 --> 00:02:51.492 Who's Kevin James? 00:02:51.492 --> 00:02:52.852 (woman laughs) 00:02:52.852 --> 00:02:55.519 (laughs loudly)