WEBVTT Kind: captions Language: en 00:00:00.260 --> 00:00:03.139 - Please put me in you and let me wiggle around 00:00:03.139 --> 00:00:05.373 until I start spitting wildly! 00:00:05.373 --> 00:00:09.408 (upbeat music) 00:00:09.408 --> 00:00:11.808 Halloween is a time for ladies to dress sexy, 00:00:11.808 --> 00:00:13.301 and dudes to dress stupid. 00:00:13.301 --> 00:00:15.369 - Straight dudes are obsessed with dicks. 00:00:15.369 --> 00:00:16.397 - They're just funny! 00:00:16.397 --> 00:00:18.020 - Naturally, every Halloween, you see 00:00:18.020 --> 00:00:20.336 a bunch of dudes wearing gross dick costumes. 00:00:20.336 --> 00:00:21.195 (Keith makes a barfing noise) 00:00:21.195 --> 00:00:23.099 - Why the fuck is everyone talking about penises so much? 00:00:23.099 --> 00:00:24.654 - They're floppy, they get hard, 00:00:24.654 --> 00:00:25.922 they have little funny hats. 00:00:25.922 --> 00:00:27.441 - Guys should try to look sexy on Halloween too, 00:00:27.441 --> 00:00:28.439 and the least sexy thing you can do 00:00:28.439 --> 00:00:29.507 is to look like a pervert. 00:00:29.507 --> 00:00:31.133 - We're gonna join in on the fun. 00:00:31.854 --> 00:00:33.385 - I'm fully naked and ready 00:00:33.385 --> 00:00:35.335 to try on some Halloween costumes! 00:00:35.335 --> 00:00:36.870 - [Voiceover] Modern Halloween fashion 00:00:36.870 --> 00:00:38.562 inspired by the Middle East. 00:00:38.562 --> 00:00:40.165 - I'm like a droopy hot dog. 00:00:40.165 --> 00:00:41.024 (Keith makes a flute noise) 00:00:41.024 --> 00:00:42.231 - It's a snake charmer! 00:00:42.231 --> 00:00:43.926 - I was promised penis. 00:00:43.926 --> 00:00:44.857 (Eugene laughs) 00:00:44.857 --> 00:00:48.198 - Oh, the inference is that my dick is gonna bite you. 00:00:48.198 --> 00:00:49.336 - This is a little racist. 00:00:49.336 --> 00:00:51.612 - Do I just put it between my butt cheeks? Oh! 00:00:51.612 --> 00:00:54.468 - The snake's got no eyes, this is a shitty snake. 00:00:54.468 --> 00:00:55.396 - If I'm gonna have a fake dick, 00:00:55.396 --> 00:00:57.022 at least I want a cool fake dick. 00:00:57.022 --> 00:00:59.065 - The best use of this is just to scare people. 00:00:59.065 --> 00:01:00.111 (yells) 00:01:00.111 --> 00:01:02.693 - Who would think this is a good idea? 00:01:02.693 --> 00:01:05.682 - Ow! Ow! Something bit me, or something in the suit. 00:01:05.682 --> 00:01:07.447 There'd better not be a spider in here. 00:01:07.447 --> 00:01:10.651 - ♫ The hills are alive, with the sound of 00:01:10.651 --> 00:01:13.623 culturally insensitive dick comedy. 00:01:13.623 --> 00:01:15.713 - [Voiceover] Free breathalyzer tests. 00:01:15.713 --> 00:01:17.756 - First of all the guy in the costume looks like Pewdie Pie. 00:01:17.756 --> 00:01:20.473 - You're supposed to blow on the dick. 00:01:20.473 --> 00:01:21.703 - Has this ever worked? 00:01:21.703 --> 00:01:22.702 - People would have to be pretty wasted 00:01:22.702 --> 00:01:23.909 to find you attractive in this. 00:01:23.909 --> 00:01:25.140 Also, if you want someone to suck your dick 00:01:25.140 --> 00:01:26.603 wear something cute. 00:01:26.603 --> 00:01:27.346 (Keith laughs) 00:01:27.346 --> 00:01:28.692 - Does it make my butt look good? 00:01:30.462 --> 00:01:31.432 Worthless. 00:01:31.432 --> 00:01:32.129 (Keith laughs) 00:01:32.129 --> 00:01:33.917 - I'd rather go as a hot vacuum cleaner, 00:01:33.917 --> 00:01:35.403 'cause at least the function is cool. 00:01:35.403 --> 00:01:36.680 - [Keith] Why is there a pie chart? 00:01:36.680 --> 00:01:37.701 - Maths, graphs! 00:01:37.701 --> 00:01:39.071 - It makes sense to me that the math 00:01:39.071 --> 00:01:40.369 on here doesn't make sense, 00:01:40.369 --> 00:01:42.717 because I assume anyone who wears this costume 00:01:42.717 --> 00:01:44.133 did flunk out of school. 00:01:44.133 --> 00:01:45.828 - But if I saw somebody wearing this, 00:01:45.828 --> 00:01:47.090 I'd probably suck their dick. 00:01:47.090 --> 00:01:50.159 (blowing noises) 00:01:50.159 --> 00:01:52.680 - [Voiceover] There's nothing less sexy than a sex offender. 00:01:52.680 --> 00:01:53.855 - This next one's special! 00:01:53.855 --> 00:01:55.975 - This is the sexy Bernie Sanders costume. 00:01:55.975 --> 00:01:58.622 - Ahh, there's a dick in my face! 00:01:58.622 --> 00:01:59.568 - Weiner alert! 00:01:59.568 --> 00:02:01.971 - Ohh, I just grabbed it by the dick. 00:02:01.971 --> 00:02:03.811 - Now I'm horrifying. 00:02:03.811 --> 00:02:04.541 - Hi! 00:02:04.541 --> 00:02:06.944 - So this outfit is called the flasher. 00:02:06.944 --> 00:02:08.128 I'll show you why. 00:02:08.128 --> 00:02:10.496 - Honey, I'm home! 00:02:10.496 --> 00:02:11.754 - They only come in white. 00:02:12.400 --> 00:02:14.397 Oh I have a big problem with this costume. 00:02:14.397 --> 00:02:15.860 - That's not how a nut sack works. 00:02:15.860 --> 00:02:17.578 - They don't each get their own bag! 00:02:17.578 --> 00:02:19.463 - My wife would divorce me if I wore this. 00:02:19.463 --> 00:02:20.457 - It's awful. 00:02:20.457 --> 00:02:22.942 However, I'm excited to see a montage 00:02:22.942 --> 00:02:25.125 of everybody trying to helicopter with it. 00:02:25.125 --> 00:02:26.771 - It's not the true weight of a penis. 00:02:26.771 --> 00:02:28.514 - See you later boner body. 00:02:28.514 --> 00:02:30.418 Oh hello, boner body. 00:02:30.418 --> 00:02:32.461 (Eugene laughs) 00:02:32.461 --> 00:02:33.855 - Do we just stick it in? 00:02:33.855 --> 00:02:35.132 - It's got a long shaft. 00:02:35.132 --> 00:02:36.711 - This is what a sperm must feel like. 00:02:36.711 --> 00:02:38.661 - I've always wondered what it would be like 00:02:38.661 --> 00:02:41.517 to be a huge embarrassment to my family. 00:02:41.517 --> 00:02:43.444 - Wrong hole. I'm a penis! 00:02:43.444 --> 00:02:44.163 - Eyes up here. 00:02:44.163 --> 00:02:45.534 - Though it'd be funny if it had a hole 00:02:45.534 --> 00:02:46.834 for your actual dick to stick out. 00:02:46.834 --> 00:02:47.809 Dickception! 00:02:47.809 --> 00:02:49.272 - Obviously the life of a party. 00:02:49.272 --> 00:02:51.060 - Where do you put your wallet and keys? 00:02:51.060 --> 00:02:53.568 - I have a history of not liking giant dicks. 00:02:53.568 --> 00:02:55.146 - I feel like this is something some fashion designer 00:02:55.146 --> 00:02:56.540 would send down the Paris runway. 00:02:56.540 --> 00:02:58.560 Oh this does kind of look like the Yeezy line doesn't it? 00:02:58.560 --> 00:02:59.999 - How does my head look? 00:02:59.999 --> 00:03:01.671 - Do I look uncircumcised now? 00:03:01.671 --> 00:03:02.485 - How cute would it be 00:03:02.485 --> 00:03:04.411 if we just had a nice little shoulder shawl? 00:03:04.411 --> 00:03:05.456 You put a little hood! 00:03:05.456 --> 00:03:07.592 - They're really dicking me over with the padding. 00:03:07.592 --> 00:03:09.194 - I think everybody in the world can agree 00:03:09.194 --> 00:03:10.494 that this is too funny. 00:03:10.494 --> 00:03:12.793 Now let me run around! 00:03:12.793 --> 00:03:14.325 (Keith caws like a bird) 00:03:14.325 --> 00:03:15.031 (Eugene laughs) 00:03:15.031 --> 00:03:15.867 - Penis! 00:03:15.867 --> 00:03:18.319 - Let me inside of you! 00:03:18.319 --> 00:03:19.016 (Zach spits) 00:03:19.016 --> 00:03:21.546 What, what else do you say when you're a big dick? 00:03:21.546 --> 00:03:23.497 Look at me, I'm the cock of the walk! 00:03:23.497 --> 00:03:25.261 - It's not that you're wearing a dick costume, 00:03:25.261 --> 00:03:26.167 it's how you wear it. 00:03:26.167 --> 00:03:27.839 - The only way that I would be cool with this 00:03:27.839 --> 00:03:29.859 is if I saw a bunch of girls wearing this. 00:03:29.859 --> 00:03:31.879 You go girl, you own that dick. 00:03:31.879 --> 00:03:34.178 - [Voiceover] Oh god, what is that! 00:03:34.898 --> 00:03:36.383 - Did you just throw a vagina at me? 00:03:36.383 --> 00:03:38.380 - Well if you thought the penis was bad, 00:03:38.380 --> 00:03:40.122 what about a vagina? 00:03:40.122 --> 00:03:41.050 - Someone dropped it on the ground, 00:03:41.050 --> 00:03:42.652 our vagina's dirty already. 00:03:42.652 --> 00:03:43.776 Just gotta get a little spit in there. 00:03:43.776 --> 00:03:45.416 - This actually is very similar 00:03:45.416 --> 00:03:48.062 to costumes my mom would make for me when I was a kid. 00:03:48.062 --> 00:03:49.665 In construction! 00:03:49.665 --> 00:03:51.894 - This isn't a great vagina. 00:03:51.894 --> 00:03:52.521 - Do I look cute? 00:03:52.521 --> 00:03:54.564 - First off, you can't penetrate it. 00:03:54.564 --> 00:03:55.423 - Hey! 00:03:55.423 --> 00:03:57.118 Look who's ready to party! 00:03:57.118 --> 00:03:58.952 - Where's the clitoris? Am I the-? 00:03:58.952 --> 00:04:00.816 - Is my face the clitoris? 00:04:00.816 --> 00:04:03.016 - Am I the clitoris? Oh my god. 00:04:03.016 --> 00:04:04.312 I'm the clitoris! 00:04:04.312 --> 00:04:05.220 - So I should rub it? 00:04:05.220 --> 00:04:07.381 - ♫ Teachin' kids about sex! 00:04:07.381 --> 00:04:08.379 - Who's your audience? 00:04:08.379 --> 00:04:11.049 - Keep that closed 'til you're ready to get pregnant! 00:04:11.049 --> 00:04:13.952 'Cause that's what'll happen if ya'll kids have sex. 00:04:13.952 --> 00:04:15.414 - At the very least, there should be a hole 00:04:15.414 --> 00:04:17.365 so I could like throw babies at people 00:04:17.365 --> 00:04:18.828 from the inside of my stomach. 00:04:18.828 --> 00:04:19.752 - This is fetus-Eugene. 00:04:19.752 --> 00:04:21.080 - What a toasty vagina! 00:04:21.080 --> 00:04:24.145 - It's hot as fuck in this vagina! 00:04:24.145 --> 00:04:26.514 This is the warmest vagina I've ever been in. 00:04:26.514 --> 00:04:28.348 - This is like, negative sexy points. 00:04:28.348 --> 00:04:30.066 - One giant vagina is gonna keep 00:04:30.066 --> 00:04:33.242 all the vagina's away, I promise you that. 00:04:34.431 --> 00:04:37.172 - I wanna know, who buys these costumes. 00:04:37.172 --> 00:04:38.099 - They're all gross. 00:04:38.099 --> 00:04:40.630 - My advice is, don't wear these. 00:04:40.630 --> 00:04:42.465 - You know, if wanna dress up as a giant dick, 00:04:42.465 --> 00:04:44.415 or a giant vagina, go ahead. 00:04:44.415 --> 00:04:45.738 Just know that people probably 00:04:45.738 --> 00:04:47.596 are gonna wanna not talk to you again. 00:04:47.596 --> 00:04:49.361 - [All] Happy Halloweiner! 00:04:49.361 --> 00:04:51.892 - And happy Hallovaginer! 00:04:51.892 --> 00:04:53.819 Get in there! Get in there! 00:04:53.819 --> 00:04:56.861 Get inside, yes, come one, all the way in! 00:04:56.861 --> 00:04:58.045 (blowing sound) 00:04:58.045 --> 00:05:00.181 - What's weird is that I feel the vibrations 00:05:00.181 --> 00:05:02.619 of you blowing, vibrating my dick, 00:05:02.619 --> 00:05:04.198 so it is doing somethin'! 00:05:04.198 --> 00:05:05.424 - Heyyy!