WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en

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- And also, you're not supposed

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to have a girlfriend until you're 35.

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(energetic music)

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- She is loving, but very strict.

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- She's constantly moving,
constantly working,

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constantly offering you food.

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- I would say my mom is wild.

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She's very energetic and very silly.

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- She can yell.

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Like, across a football stadium.

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"Sissy Joanne!"

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- What have I done in my past life

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to deserve this? (chuckles)

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- She'd be like, "Huh?"

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- "Huh? What did you say?

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"Can you say that again?

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"Say that to your mother."

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- I always just figured I would never date

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when I was in high school,

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or that if I was gonna do it, I'd have

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to do it in secret behind her back.

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- They want you to focus on schoolwork,

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and then by 25, they're like,

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"What's wrong with you?" (chuckles)

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- "Kevin, if you had a girlfriend,

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"you would tell me, right?"

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I'm just like, "Yeah, sure."

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- "You don't need any
other man in your life

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"besides your father."

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- Discussions with my mom about dating

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were basically nonexistent.

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- When I go shopping
with her, she'll be like,

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"Nothing past $10."

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- My mom has basically taught me

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that I don't have to pay
anything at full price.

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- "You have a shirt just like that, Sissy.

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"Why would you spend any more money

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"on another shirt like that?"

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- "Kevin, you need to
think about the family.

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"It's not just about you."

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- Up until college, I wore exclusively

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JCPenney clothes.

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- With career, my mom
was just always like,

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"Are you sure you don't
want to be a nurse?"

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- "Well, you studied something Englishy.

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"You could go to law school."

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- When my mom met my roommate,

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who is a programmer, she was like,

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"Chris could have been a programmer too.

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"He majored in programming, but you know,

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he's not a programmer." (chuckles)

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- "You know, you should
get your master's degree.

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"Oh, you know, there's still time

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"to be a pharmacist."

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- "Doctor" still gets thrown around.

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- "Oh, why don't you become a doctor?"

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- She wanted me to grow in her footsteps

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and do that same career, but it never

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really worked out, and I think

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she just got over it after a while.

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- Sometimes moms just have a hard time

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accepting the fact that
they can't help you

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with everything.

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I think that's also a
really good opportunity

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for you to bond with each other.

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- I'd resented it when I was younger,

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but I appreciate it now, and
I wouldn't change anything.

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- And so I don't think
I could ever thank her

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enough for just always looking out for me

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and making sure that
had my head on straight,

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had money in my pocket,
and my stomach was full.

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(energetic music)