WEBVTT Kind: captions Language: en 00:00:00.156 --> 00:00:01.766 - There are no shoulds in toilet paper. 00:00:01.766 --> 00:00:04.668 - All you have to do is, oh, I can't see it. 00:00:04.668 --> 00:00:06.873 Well, I know that it's gotta be somewhere. 00:00:06.873 --> 00:00:08.802 Lemme put in a tiny, there it is, 00:00:08.802 --> 00:00:10.779 Colin, I found it! 00:00:10.779 --> 00:00:12.523 - There's two kinds of people in this world 00:00:12.523 --> 00:00:15.296 and frankly, they're not thrilled with each other. 00:00:15.296 --> 00:00:18.246 Over or under. 00:00:18.246 --> 00:00:19.506 It's debatable. 00:00:19.506 --> 00:00:24.464 (dramatic, triumphant music) 00:00:24.464 --> 00:00:26.532 - I think it's totally fine if the toilet paper 00:00:26.532 --> 00:00:27.577 hangs underneath. 00:00:27.577 --> 00:00:29.330 - Just like this debate, I'm over. 00:00:29.330 --> 00:00:32.372 - The only way to holster your toilet paper is over. 00:00:32.372 --> 00:00:33.694 - I fight for the opposition. 00:00:33.694 --> 00:00:34.690 - And I'm for over. 00:00:34.690 --> 00:00:35.571 - And I'm team under. 00:00:35.571 --> 00:00:38.866 (intense music) 00:00:38.866 --> 00:00:39.858 - That's just the way. 00:00:39.858 --> 00:00:42.091 You go to janitor school, it's what they teach you. 00:00:42.091 --> 00:00:43.260 This is 101 type shit. 00:00:43.260 --> 00:00:47.442 - When you have a turd hanging out of your anus, 00:00:47.442 --> 00:00:49.416 you wanna be able to get to that paper 00:00:49.416 --> 00:00:50.902 as quickly as possible. 00:00:50.902 --> 00:00:52.296 - I would say you should let it drop 00:00:52.296 --> 00:00:53.723 into the water first. 00:00:53.723 --> 00:00:56.189 - You need one swift motion of an over 00:00:56.189 --> 00:00:58.506 to see how many pieces you need. 00:00:58.506 --> 00:01:01.014 And, as a girl, we need pieces. 00:01:01.014 --> 00:01:03.928 - You can immediately do a sight line test 00:01:03.928 --> 00:01:06.772 and see whether it is up inside the machine or not. 00:01:06.772 --> 00:01:08.095 - What' if it's like that? 00:01:08.095 --> 00:01:09.187 - Then you might as well just pull 00:01:09.187 --> 00:01:11.400 your fuckin' shirt out and wipe with that. 00:01:11.400 --> 00:01:13.420 - Let's talk about rippage here. 00:01:13.420 --> 00:01:14.779 - Look at the quickness. 00:01:14.779 --> 00:01:16.473 - You have stronger hands, okay? 00:01:16.473 --> 00:01:18.117 I don't think this is an over under issue. 00:01:18.117 --> 00:01:20.552 I think this is a hand strength issue. 00:01:20.552 --> 00:01:22.288 - What are you doing? How are you ripping? 00:01:22.288 --> 00:01:26.045 - Simple tear, just by sheer gravity. 00:01:26.045 --> 00:01:29.022 - If you do this, then you can stop it 00:01:29.022 --> 00:01:30.748 with your elbow. Boom! 00:01:30.748 --> 00:01:33.279 I could have a martini, a cell phone, 00:01:33.279 --> 00:01:35.253 whatever I wanted in this other hand. 00:01:35.253 --> 00:01:36.922 - Look how much further you had to lean. 00:01:36.922 --> 00:01:38.309 - Oop! Oh! 00:01:38.309 --> 00:01:41.056 - Aesthetically, can we agree that over looks better? 00:01:41.056 --> 00:01:43.215 - When you go in a hotel rooms or cruise ships 00:01:43.215 --> 00:01:45.641 and they fold it that nice little way. 00:01:45.641 --> 00:01:47.336 - Internationally, you go into any bathroom, 00:01:47.336 --> 00:01:48.416 that's how it hangs. 00:01:48.416 --> 00:01:49.902 - Internationally? Isn't it different 00:01:49.902 --> 00:01:51.202 in the Southern Hemisphere? 00:01:51.202 --> 00:01:53.176 - A hotel is different than a home. 00:01:53.176 --> 00:01:55.543 A hotel represents an impersonal, 00:01:55.543 --> 00:01:57.660 cold space that other people have shared before. 00:01:57.660 --> 00:01:59.584 - Not the Holiday Inns I've been to. 00:01:59.584 --> 00:02:00.664 Top dollar. 00:02:00.664 --> 00:02:02.382 - Sometimes, you need a lot of toilet paper 00:02:02.382 --> 00:02:03.449 and you need it fast. 00:02:03.449 --> 00:02:04.785 - I gotta wipe two holes. 00:02:04.785 --> 00:02:06.747 - Watch this. Wait. 00:02:06.747 --> 00:02:08.047 - Sometimes three, depending on 00:02:08.047 --> 00:02:10.853 what's happenin' back there. 00:02:10.853 --> 00:02:12.754 - You can stop it and rip it. 00:02:12.754 --> 00:02:14.228 - Doesn't hurt it to have that extra. 00:02:14.228 --> 00:02:15.796 - No, you just pull it out this way 00:02:15.796 --> 00:02:18.314 instead of slapping it like a barbarian. 00:02:18.314 --> 00:02:19.835 - The problem, however, with that 00:02:19.835 --> 00:02:22.157 is that once you do this, you get caught 00:02:22.157 --> 00:02:24.288 in the centrifugal force of the toilet paper 00:02:24.288 --> 00:02:25.594 and you waste too much. 00:02:25.594 --> 00:02:27.569 - She's killing trees. 00:02:27.569 --> 00:02:28.453 The proof is in the pudding here. 00:02:28.453 --> 00:02:29.203 - This is one ply. 00:02:29.203 --> 00:02:30.562 This isn't even trees, okay? 00:02:30.562 --> 00:02:32.686 This is chemically engineered (laughs) toilet paper, 00:02:32.686 --> 00:02:33.580 let's be real. 00:02:33.580 --> 00:02:35.124 - I think having a spinner is like 00:02:35.124 --> 00:02:37.399 a really fun addition every once in a while. 00:02:37.399 --> 00:02:39.488 - Okay, well why can't I do this? 00:02:39.488 --> 00:02:40.347 - You can't spin-- 00:02:40.347 --> 00:02:41.686 - This is chaos now. - [Colin] No, it doesn't 00:02:41.686 --> 00:02:42.985 (both laugh) 00:02:42.985 --> 00:02:45.927 (intense music) 00:02:45.927 --> 00:02:47.808 - We all put our toilet paper in a different way. 00:02:47.808 --> 00:02:48.401 I understand that. 00:02:48.401 --> 00:02:50.233 I don't think you're a lesser person 00:02:50.233 --> 00:02:51.384 for hanging it like this. 00:02:51.384 --> 00:02:53.323 - My major argument is just that the effort 00:02:53.323 --> 00:02:55.204 it takes to tear off the piece of paper 00:02:55.204 --> 00:02:58.280 with one hand is much simpler under than over. 00:02:58.280 --> 00:02:59.789 - I have a problem with the fact 00:02:59.789 --> 00:03:01.519 that you have a problem with the fact 00:03:01.519 --> 00:03:03.225 that I sometimes hang it like this. 00:03:03.225 --> 00:03:05.280 - If the toilet paper is on backwards, 00:03:05.280 --> 00:03:07.457 and I will call it backwards, you have all 00:03:07.457 --> 00:03:09.675 these unknown variables that you can't predict! 00:03:09.675 --> 00:03:11.115 - Now, what happens if I reach 00:03:11.115 --> 00:03:13.008 my little hand here to grab some toilet paper? 00:03:13.008 --> 00:03:14.587 - In a public restroom environment, 00:03:14.587 --> 00:03:16.270 I don't want any surprises. 00:03:16.270 --> 00:03:18.569 Holy shit, there's enough surprises in there already. 00:03:18.569 --> 00:03:20.832 - Ahh! My knuckles are bleeding everywhere 00:03:20.832 --> 00:03:23.014 because when I go to rip the toilet paper, 00:03:23.014 --> 00:03:26.126 my knuckles have now scraped the back of the wall. 00:03:26.126 --> 00:03:27.949 - Your hand's gonna be in the same place, 00:03:27.949 --> 00:03:29.698 whether you're pulling it from the back or from the front. 00:03:29.698 --> 00:03:30.925 You're going to pull it down. 00:03:30.925 --> 00:03:33.223 - Some people have hand-eye coordination 00:03:33.223 --> 00:03:35.963 and we can actually use our hands 00:03:35.963 --> 00:03:39.167 in such a way that doesn't cause personal injury. 00:03:39.167 --> 00:03:40.986 - Oh, I think I could just tug down and do it. 00:03:40.986 --> 00:03:41.647 I think I just did it. 00:03:41.647 --> 00:03:43.578 - I dunno, I think you're full of shit. 00:03:43.578 --> 00:03:44.244 - [Colin] I don't buy it. 00:03:44.244 --> 00:03:46.120 - Or, I can pull it forward, I can pull it up. 00:03:46.120 --> 00:03:46.860 It's all gonna-- - [Colin] Nope. 00:03:46.860 --> 00:03:48.425 - [Keith] It all unrolls. It unrolls. It's a-- 00:03:48.425 --> 00:03:49.230 - Nope. 00:03:49.230 --> 00:03:51.838 - And, rip it with one hand just as easily. 00:03:51.838 --> 00:03:52.816 - You guys listening to this? 00:03:52.816 --> 00:03:53.293 - I can double it over. 00:03:53.293 --> 00:03:53.854 - I can do that - [Keith] Wrist. 00:03:53.854 --> 00:03:54.500 - [Colin] the other way around. 00:03:54.500 --> 00:03:55.089 - [Keith] Wrist. 00:03:55.089 --> 00:03:56.122 - Switch fingers, switch fingers. 00:03:56.122 --> 00:03:57.166 - No, no, no, no, no, no, no. - [Colin] Switch fingers. 00:03:57.166 --> 00:03:59.384 You had your chance to show your elbow technique! 00:03:59.384 --> 00:04:00.139 - Switch fingers! 00:04:00.139 --> 00:04:01.543 - And I'm showing you my wrist technique, 00:04:01.543 --> 00:04:02.991 which is far superior. 00:04:02.991 --> 00:04:04.930 - And then, oh he's making fun of me. 00:04:04.930 --> 00:04:07.252 - Cats are like, "Oh man, you know what's fun? 00:04:07.252 --> 00:04:08.390 "Fucking everything up!" 00:04:08.390 --> 00:04:10.747 - That is the one argument I've heard against over. 00:04:10.747 --> 00:04:12.924 - And children. But children are gonna fuck 00:04:12.924 --> 00:04:14.414 with everything, so that's good. 00:04:14.414 --> 00:04:16.237 - It just goes around in a circle forever. 00:04:16.237 --> 00:04:17.502 You have a naughty dachshund? 00:04:17.502 --> 00:04:19.035 He can't do anything about this. 00:04:19.035 --> 00:04:22.464 - I don't have cats, that's one service I'm doing the world. 00:04:22.464 --> 00:04:23.577 But the second thing-- 00:04:23.577 --> 00:04:25.458 - This is not that video. 00:04:25.458 --> 00:04:27.258 - Now you get to post a video and you get 00:04:27.258 --> 00:04:29.022 all those likes and you're like, "Oh, look how cute. 00:04:29.022 --> 00:04:30.322 "Look at what my kitty did! 00:04:30.322 --> 00:04:31.239 - [Woman] It seems you're-- 00:04:31.239 --> 00:04:32.783 - "He ran away with all the toilet paper!" 00:04:32.783 --> 00:04:35.799 (dramatic, triumphant music) 00:04:35.799 --> 00:04:36.780 - We live in a free country 00:04:36.780 --> 00:04:38.587 and if I wanna hang it like this, I can. 00:04:38.587 --> 00:04:40.166 - You hang it like this, I won't trust you. 00:04:40.166 --> 00:04:41.556 - Can we agree that we're just lucky 00:04:41.556 --> 00:04:44.801 to have toilet paper and not be wipin' with leaves? 00:04:44.801 --> 00:04:45.538 - Or our hands. 00:04:45.538 --> 00:04:46.197 - Oh! 00:04:46.197 --> 00:04:47.141 - Here's a really good thing I think 00:04:47.141 --> 00:04:47.972 we can agree on, though. 00:04:47.972 --> 00:04:49.191 My friends and I have this thing 00:04:49.191 --> 00:04:51.363 where we don't buy cheap toilet paper. 00:04:51.363 --> 00:04:55.195 - That I agree with, but that super expensive toilet paper? 00:04:55.195 --> 00:04:56.363 Dingleberry city. 00:04:56.363 --> 00:04:59.485 (dramatic, triumphant music) 00:05:01.832 --> 00:05:02.877 - I'm ambidextrous in the bathroom 00:05:02.877 --> 00:05:04.076 and I avoid all cleanliness anyway. 00:05:04.076 --> 00:05:06.024 - You're ambidextrous in the bathroom? 00:05:06.024 --> 00:05:08.333 I can only do anything with my left hand. 00:05:08.333 --> 00:05:09.835 If I tried to wipe with my right hand, 00:05:09.835 --> 00:05:11.008 I'd have a shit covered hand.