- There are no shoulds in toilet paper.
- All you have to do is, oh, I can't see it.
Well, I know that it's gotta be somewhere.
Lemme put in a tiny, there it is,
Colin, I found it!
- There's two kinds of people in this world
and frankly, they're not thrilled with each other.
Over or under.
It's debatable.
(dramatic, triumphant music)
- I think it's totally fine if the toilet paper
hangs underneath.
- Just like this debate, I'm over.
- The only way to holster your toilet paper is over.
- I fight for the opposition.
- And I'm for over.
- And I'm team under.
(intense music)
- That's just the way.
You go to janitor school, it's what they teach you.
This is 101 type shit.
- When you have a turd hanging out of your anus,
you wanna be able to get to that paper
as quickly as possible.
- I would say you should let it drop
into the water first.
- You need one swift motion of an over
to see how many pieces you need.
And, as a girl, we need pieces.
- You can immediately do a sight line test
and see whether it is up inside the machine or not.
- What' if it's like that?
- Then you might as well just pull
your fuckin' shirt out and wipe with that.
- Let's talk about rippage here.
- Look at the quickness.
- You have stronger hands, okay?
I don't think this is an over under issue.
I think this is a hand strength issue.
- What are you doing? How are you ripping?
- Simple tear, just by sheer gravity.
- If you do this, then you can stop it
with your elbow. Boom!
I could have a martini, a cell phone,
whatever I wanted in this other hand.
- Look how much further you had to lean.
- Oop! Oh!
- Aesthetically, can we agree that over looks better?
- When you go in a hotel rooms or cruise ships
and they fold it that nice little way.
- Internationally, you go into any bathroom,
that's how it hangs.
- Internationally? Isn't it different
in the Southern Hemisphere?
- A hotel is different than a home.
A hotel represents an impersonal,
cold space that other people have shared before.
- Not the Holiday Inns I've been to.
Top dollar.
- Sometimes, you need a lot of toilet paper
and you need it fast.
- I gotta wipe two holes.
- Watch this. Wait.
- Sometimes three, depending on
what's happenin' back there.
- You can stop it and rip it.
- Doesn't hurt it to have that extra.
- No, you just pull it out this way
instead of slapping it like a barbarian.
- The problem, however, with that
is that once you do this, you get caught
in the centrifugal force of the toilet paper
and you waste too much.
- She's killing trees.
The proof is in the pudding here.
- This is one ply.
This isn't even trees, okay?
This is chemically engineered (laughs) toilet paper,
let's be real.
- I think having a spinner is like
a really fun addition every once in a while.
- Okay, well why can't I do this?
- You can't spin--
- This is chaos now. - [Colin] No, it doesn't
(both laugh)
(intense music)
- We all put our toilet paper in a different way.
I understand that.
I don't think you're a lesser person
for hanging it like this.
- My major argument is just that the effort
it takes to tear off the piece of paper
with one hand is much simpler under than over.
- I have a problem with the fact
that you have a problem with the fact
that I sometimes hang it like this.
- If the toilet paper is on backwards,
and I will call it backwards, you have all
these unknown variables that you can't predict!
- Now, what happens if I reach
my little hand here to grab some toilet paper?
- In a public restroom environment,
I don't want any surprises.
Holy shit, there's enough surprises in there already.
- Ahh! My knuckles are bleeding everywhere
because when I go to rip the toilet paper,
my knuckles have now scraped the back of the wall.
- Your hand's gonna be in the same place,
whether you're pulling it from the back or from the front.
You're going to pull it down.
- Some people have hand-eye coordination
and we can actually use our hands
in such a way that doesn't cause personal injury.
- Oh, I think I could just tug down and do it.
I think I just did it.
- I dunno, I think you're full of shit.
- [Colin] I don't buy it.
- Or, I can pull it forward, I can pull it up.
It's all gonna-- - [Colin] Nope.
- [Keith] It all unrolls. It unrolls. It's a--
- Nope.
- And, rip it with one hand just as easily.
- You guys listening to this?
- I can double it over.
- I can do that - [Keith] Wrist.
- [Colin] the other way around.
- [Keith] Wrist.
- Switch fingers, switch fingers.
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no. - [Colin] Switch fingers.
You had your chance to show your elbow technique!
- Switch fingers!
- And I'm showing you my wrist technique,
which is far superior.
- And then, oh he's making fun of me.
- Cats are like, "Oh man, you know what's fun?
"Fucking everything up!"
- That is the one argument I've heard against over.
- And children. But children are gonna fuck
with everything, so that's good.
- It just goes around in a circle forever.
You have a naughty dachshund?
He can't do anything about this.
- I don't have cats, that's one service I'm doing the world.
But the second thing--
- This is not that video.
- Now you get to post a video and you get
all those likes and you're like, "Oh, look how cute.
"Look at what my kitty did!
- [Woman] It seems you're--
- "He ran away with all the toilet paper!"
(dramatic, triumphant music)
- We live in a free country
and if I wanna hang it like this, I can.
- You hang it like this, I won't trust you.
- Can we agree that we're just lucky
to have toilet paper and not be wipin' with leaves?
- Or our hands.
- Oh!
- Here's a really good thing I think
we can agree on, though.
My friends and I have this thing
where we don't buy cheap toilet paper.
- That I agree with, but that super expensive toilet paper?
Dingleberry city.
(dramatic, triumphant music)
- I'm ambidextrous in the bathroom
and I avoid all cleanliness anyway.
- You're ambidextrous in the bathroom?
I can only do anything with my left hand.
If I tried to wipe with my right hand,
I'd have a shit covered hand.