WEBVTT Kind: captions Language: en 00:00:00.201 --> 00:00:02.361 - I want to get away from discrediting my opponent 00:00:02.361 --> 00:00:03.993 and get back to discrediting waffles. 00:00:03.993 --> 00:00:05.966 - I wish you would just call me Keith. 00:00:05.966 --> 00:00:07.359 We're friends, Chris. 00:00:07.359 --> 00:00:10.256 - Keith, not in the arena we aren't. 00:00:10.378 --> 00:00:13.582 - Waffles, pancakes, both great breakfast foods. 00:00:13.582 --> 00:00:14.929 Who says you've got to choose? 00:00:14.929 --> 00:00:16.530 I do, I say so. 00:00:16.530 --> 00:00:18.760 So pick a side because it's about to get crazy in here. 00:00:18.760 --> 00:00:20.362 Waffles, pancakes, it's debatable. 00:00:20.362 --> 00:00:24.699 (regal music) 00:00:26.585 --> 00:00:27.723 - Pro-waffle. 00:00:27.723 --> 00:00:29.000 - And I'm pro-pancake. 00:00:29.000 --> 00:00:30.416 - Proud waffle supporter. 00:00:30.416 --> 00:00:33.212 - Flap jacks are the essence of breakfast food. 00:00:33.212 --> 00:00:35.774 - The waffles are the only way to use Bisquick batter. 00:00:35.774 --> 00:00:37.858 - Team pancake. 00:00:40.070 --> 00:00:42.275 - Did you know the waffle iron was brought over here 00:00:42.275 --> 00:00:45.177 from France by Thomas Jefferson? 00:00:45.177 --> 00:00:47.337 A founding father and the third president 00:00:47.337 --> 00:00:49.520 of the United States of America. 00:00:49.520 --> 00:00:51.866 There is simply no argument against that. 00:00:51.866 --> 00:00:53.375 It's presidential. 00:00:53.375 --> 00:00:55.092 - That's a nice fact you came up with 00:00:55.092 --> 00:00:56.090 and normally-- 00:00:56.090 --> 00:00:58.027 - I didn't come up with it, it's a fact. 00:00:58.027 --> 00:01:00.734 - Waffle is about separation, deconstructing the food, 00:01:00.734 --> 00:01:02.894 and appreciating the ingredients as they are. 00:01:02.894 --> 00:01:04.799 Not about mixing and matching. 00:01:04.799 --> 00:01:06.400 - It's all going in your belly, man. 00:01:06.400 --> 00:01:07.839 - You want part of the rip to be crunchy 00:01:07.839 --> 00:01:09.164 and part of the rip to be soft. 00:01:09.164 --> 00:01:10.695 That's what bread products are all about. 00:01:10.695 --> 00:01:11.694 - There's no way around it. 00:01:11.694 --> 00:01:15.526 A waffle is a better vehicle to appreciate the topping 00:01:15.526 --> 00:01:19.216 and also appreciate the piece of breakfast food itself. 00:01:19.216 --> 00:01:21.980 All these crevices, waiting to be filled. 00:01:21.980 --> 00:01:24.674 And what's more fun than filling a crevice? 00:01:24.674 --> 00:01:26.670 - You pour the syrup on this, the syrup pools 00:01:26.670 --> 00:01:27.761 in these things. 00:01:27.761 --> 00:01:29.804 They don't soak nicely into the waffle. 00:01:29.804 --> 00:01:31.174 - You can put bananas in there, 00:01:31.174 --> 00:01:32.894 you can enjoy each little piece, I mean-- 00:01:32.894 --> 00:01:34.773 - You can build a little house out of it. 00:01:34.773 --> 00:01:36.260 What are you doing playing with your food? 00:01:36.260 --> 00:01:37.629 Eat your breakfast, bro. 00:01:37.629 --> 00:01:39.254 - Just like pancakes, you can stack them. 00:01:39.254 --> 00:01:41.206 Typically you don't because you normally just have one 00:01:41.206 --> 00:01:43.550 big old fucking waffle. 00:01:43.550 --> 00:01:45.664 You can stack it with berries, whipped cream. 00:01:45.664 --> 00:01:48.311 You can also serve it with fried chicken. 00:01:48.311 --> 00:01:50.818 I mean, come on! 00:01:50.818 --> 00:01:52.373 - Have you ever tried to clean a waffle iron, 00:01:52.373 --> 00:01:53.139 by the way? 00:01:53.139 --> 00:01:53.953 - I have. 00:01:53.953 --> 00:01:55.091 - You've cleaned a waffle iron? 00:01:55.091 --> 00:01:56.007 - Here's the trick-- 00:01:56.007 --> 00:01:57.529 - Look in that camera and say you've cleaned a waffle iron. 00:01:57.529 --> 00:02:00.362 Because it is the worst fucking thing on the planet. 00:02:00.362 --> 00:02:02.845 - You do have to have a waffle iron to make waffles 00:02:02.845 --> 00:02:05.469 but then you get to have a waffle iron. 00:02:05.469 --> 00:02:07.406 And you get to put so many other fun things 00:02:07.406 --> 00:02:08.766 in that waffle iron. 00:02:08.766 --> 00:02:10.786 Everybody's got a fucking skillet. 00:02:10.786 --> 00:02:13.086 A skillet, listen to the name, a skillet. 00:02:13.086 --> 00:02:14.339 - Wow, wow, listen to this. 00:02:14.339 --> 00:02:16.033 Sorry, "everybody has a skillet," 00:02:16.033 --> 00:02:17.496 "everybody has a waffle iron." 00:02:17.496 --> 00:02:19.471 We're not the one percent, Keith. 00:02:19.471 --> 00:02:22.141 - When was the last time you made yourself a waffle? 00:02:22.141 --> 00:02:23.441 - I was just a boy. 00:02:23.441 --> 00:02:24.927 - It's been years! 00:02:24.927 --> 00:02:26.993 - But same for pancakes, oh no, I've made a pancake 00:02:26.993 --> 00:02:28.062 slightly more recently. 00:02:28.062 --> 00:02:29.222 - See? See? 00:02:29.222 --> 00:02:30.267 - Because I don't have a waffle iron. 00:02:30.267 --> 00:02:32.264 - Exactly! Exactly! 00:02:32.264 --> 00:02:34.772 You can make a pancake whenever! 00:02:34.772 --> 00:02:36.785 (regal music) 00:02:38.487 --> 00:02:41.609 - It's 1849, you're gold panning with a couple buddies. 00:02:41.609 --> 00:02:44.291 You just came out from the east, what are you 00:02:44.291 --> 00:02:46.148 going to cook around the campfire? 00:02:46.148 --> 00:02:49.306 - The 99% make pancakes, okay? 00:02:49.306 --> 00:02:50.547 We make them in the forest. 00:02:50.547 --> 00:02:51.792 We make them in our houses. 00:02:51.792 --> 00:02:53.718 We make some with our friends and our family. 00:02:53.718 --> 00:02:58.293 - Pancake is the ideal food for the working man. 00:02:58.293 --> 00:03:00.451 The waffle might as well put Mitt Romney's 00:03:00.451 --> 00:03:02.472 fucking face on that thing, man. 00:03:02.472 --> 00:03:04.980 - Let's see, where can we associate waffles with? 00:03:04.980 --> 00:03:05.932 Belgium. 00:03:05.932 --> 00:03:08.347 Where can we associate pancakes with? 00:03:08.347 --> 00:03:10.250 Every country in the goddamn world. 00:03:10.250 --> 00:03:11.249 - That cannot be true. 00:03:11.249 --> 00:03:12.433 That cannot be true. 00:03:12.433 --> 00:03:13.780 That can't be true. 00:03:13.780 --> 00:03:15.475 - There's lots of ways to make a pancake. 00:03:15.475 --> 00:03:16.867 You obviously just don't know how to make pancakes. 00:03:16.867 --> 00:03:19.584 - All right, you can make your best crispy pancake 00:03:19.584 --> 00:03:21.256 and put that up against the best crispy waffle 00:03:21.256 --> 00:03:23.602 and I guarantee you that waffle is going to still 00:03:23.602 --> 00:03:24.739 have that crunch factor. 00:03:24.739 --> 00:03:27.153 - Crispy is not a good thing early in the morning 00:03:27.153 --> 00:03:28.385 when you're soaking something in syrup. 00:03:28.385 --> 00:03:30.219 You don't want it to be crispy because it will not 00:03:30.219 --> 00:03:31.797 in fact get soaked then. 00:03:31.797 --> 00:03:33.515 It'll just sort of pool around. 00:03:33.515 --> 00:03:35.559 - Dance on the outside which is the idea. 00:03:35.559 --> 00:03:37.775 - No! That's not what you want! 00:03:37.775 --> 00:03:39.273 - With pancakes they're brilliant because you can 00:03:39.273 --> 00:03:43.708 cook in effortlessly bananas, chocolate chips, pecans, 00:03:43.708 --> 00:03:44.962 blueberries. 00:03:44.962 --> 00:03:45.821 - Effortlessly?! 00:03:45.821 --> 00:03:46.728 - Effortlessly. 00:03:46.728 --> 00:03:48.051 - Effortlessly? 00:03:48.051 --> 00:03:49.932 - Yeah, you chop up a banana, you throw it in. 00:03:49.932 --> 00:03:53.949 You don't need to like, "Can you waffle it?" video. 00:03:53.949 --> 00:03:58.337 - You can embed fruits and sweets inside a pancake. 00:03:58.337 --> 00:03:59.898 You try and do that with a waffle? 00:03:59.898 --> 00:04:01.825 You are throwing away your waffle iron. 00:04:01.825 --> 00:04:02.963 I guarantee it. 00:04:02.963 --> 00:04:05.261 - You have to admit that the point of this is to get 00:04:05.261 --> 00:04:08.605 the syrup in an edible way into your mouth. 00:04:08.605 --> 00:04:10.184 - Sometimes I eat waffles with just butter. 00:04:10.184 --> 00:04:11.634 I don't always put syrup on there. 00:04:11.634 --> 00:04:13.620 - You are a barbarian! 00:04:13.620 --> 00:04:15.338 - This morning I conducted a Google search 00:04:15.338 --> 00:04:19.373 for fun pancakes, cool pancakes. 00:04:19.936 --> 00:04:22.281 For cool pancakes, I got a spider. 00:04:23.586 --> 00:04:25.003 I got this thing. 00:04:25.003 --> 00:04:26.326 - That isn't real. 00:04:26.326 --> 00:04:27.812 Whatever that is is fake. 00:04:27.812 --> 00:04:29.855 That is clearly made on a computer. 00:04:29.855 --> 00:04:33.635 - Then I Googled cool waffles and 00:04:35.962 --> 00:04:37.936 it came back with this. 00:04:37.936 --> 00:04:39.259 - I've never seen this chart before. 00:04:39.259 --> 00:04:40.652 He fabricated this chart. 00:04:40.652 --> 00:04:43.689 (regal music) 00:04:43.833 --> 00:04:48.036 - Waffles are the Marie Antoinette of breakfast foods. 00:04:48.036 --> 00:04:48.789 - Yeah. 00:04:48.789 --> 00:04:52.564 - They are aristocratic, unnecessarily fancy, 00:04:52.564 --> 00:04:54.978 too expensive for the French people. 00:04:54.978 --> 00:04:57.834 This is the bread that the French people need. 00:04:57.834 --> 00:05:00.203 - If you're an outside dancer, you're a waffle man. 00:05:00.203 --> 00:05:02.942 If you're an inside soaker, you're a pancake lady. 00:05:02.942 --> 00:05:05.032 - When you have a flapjack or have a pancake, 00:05:05.032 --> 00:05:09.212 you're essentially saying, "I'm okay with breakfast." 00:05:09.212 --> 00:05:10.698 When you're having a waffle, you're saying, 00:05:10.698 --> 00:05:12.416 "I'm looking forward to breakfast." 00:05:12.416 --> 00:05:15.852 - You know, the stuff-ability and that they are 00:05:15.852 --> 00:05:17.315 a food of the people. 00:05:17.315 --> 00:05:19.614 - Now, we've put out a lot of points today 00:05:19.614 --> 00:05:21.820 and we've talked about continental breakfast 00:05:21.820 --> 00:05:24.583 but I think there's one thing we can both agree on 00:05:24.583 --> 00:05:27.346 better than pancakes and waffles, 00:05:27.346 --> 00:05:29.760 Waterslides. - Waterslides. 00:05:29.760 --> 00:05:34.492 (regal music) 00:05:37.665 --> 00:05:39.303 - Man, this is really hard to hit by pancake. 00:05:39.303 --> 00:05:40.604 - Pull! 00:05:40.604 --> 00:05:41.473 - Okay, well.