WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en

00:00:04.140 --> 00:00:07.140
(people chattering)

00:00:11.025 --> 00:00:12.854
- Oh, oh, oh!

00:00:12.854 --> 00:00:14.095
I'm turned on by both.

00:00:14.095 --> 00:00:15.120
- We wanted to conduct an experiment

00:00:15.120 --> 00:00:17.190
here in this beautiful bar, where we could

00:00:17.190 --> 00:00:19.850
actually put perceived
masculinity to the test.

00:00:19.850 --> 00:00:22.276
So what you'll see is our
wonderful subject, Broderick,

00:00:22.276 --> 00:00:24.981
portraying two different
versions of himself.

00:00:24.981 --> 00:00:27.686
One that tends to be so much
more traditionally masculine

00:00:27.686 --> 00:00:29.053
in how he conducts himself.

00:00:29.053 --> 00:00:30.233
- The guy on the right didn't smile,

00:00:30.233 --> 00:00:31.791
so I feel like you have this inclination

00:00:31.791 --> 00:00:33.196
where you want to win him over.

00:00:33.196 --> 00:00:34.321
- People like the chase.

00:00:34.321 --> 00:00:36.072
- I would fuck the guy on the right.

00:00:36.072 --> 00:00:37.732
I would probably be in a relationship

00:00:37.732 --> 00:00:38.903
with the guy on the left.

00:00:38.903 --> 00:00:41.009
- And the other one, where
he tends to be less so,

00:00:41.009 --> 00:00:42.980
and can show a very
different side of himself.

00:00:42.980 --> 00:00:44.195
- I feel like he's more approachable.

00:00:44.195 --> 00:00:45.445
- Could be gay?

00:00:46.590 --> 00:00:48.177
- [Matt] To determine
if people do tend to be

00:00:48.177 --> 00:00:49.311
a little bit more attracted

00:00:49.311 --> 00:00:50.670
to the traditionally masculine traits.

00:00:50.670 --> 00:00:52.301
We can show a lot about ourselves

00:00:52.301 --> 00:00:54.315
based on how much or how
little we're smiling.

00:00:54.315 --> 00:00:55.866
People tend to to say that
they're really attracted

00:00:55.866 --> 00:00:59.291
to the bad boy, which is a
little bit more of a smolder.

00:00:59.291 --> 00:01:00.735
- This guy on the right
would let me have it!

00:01:00.735 --> 00:01:02.519
Like, "Yeah, I'm gonna
give it to you hard."

00:01:02.519 --> 00:01:03.882
And then this guy's sweet like

00:01:03.882 --> 00:01:05.318
we could have a good giggle.

00:01:05.318 --> 00:01:06.550
- This experiment is
actually really interesting

00:01:06.550 --> 00:01:08.537
because it's not about
the differences between

00:01:08.537 --> 00:01:09.879
masculine or feminine,

00:01:09.879 --> 00:01:11.647
but how we're valuing that.

00:01:11.647 --> 00:01:13.296
You could take the test
as it's going along,

00:01:13.296 --> 00:01:15.796
and see what comes up for you.

00:01:23.565 --> 00:01:25.597
- [Both Women] Whoa!

00:01:25.597 --> 00:01:27.295
- I think I hate both of them.

00:01:27.295 --> 00:01:28.996
- Nah, I'm into the one on the right.

00:01:28.996 --> 00:01:31.222
- His dick's all out!

00:01:31.222 --> 00:01:32.249
- Tell me about manspreading, what's that?

00:01:32.249 --> 00:01:33.511
- I am not doing that.

00:01:33.511 --> 00:01:34.344
- Just have your dick everywhere.

00:01:34.344 --> 00:01:35.872
- You're just like, "Yeah, whatever."

00:01:35.872 --> 00:01:36.819
(laughing)

00:01:36.819 --> 00:01:37.856
- I like the guy on the left.

00:01:37.856 --> 00:01:39.555
The way that he's
sitting up, his clothing.

00:01:39.555 --> 00:01:42.268
- This guy might be too proper for me.

00:01:42.268 --> 00:01:43.947
- He seems a little more at ease,

00:01:43.947 --> 00:01:45.737
so I'm more inclined to go with the right.

00:01:45.737 --> 00:01:47.096
- Someone might try to order a drink

00:01:47.096 --> 00:01:49.957
and since this guy's spread
out, they can't get to 'em.

00:01:49.957 --> 00:01:51.308
- The man on the right, I like more

00:01:51.308 --> 00:01:53.859
because I love sweatpants.

00:01:53.859 --> 00:01:56.854
I enjoy a good penis print.

00:01:56.854 --> 00:01:58.667
- More of a relaxed look and presentation

00:01:58.667 --> 00:02:00.537
based on how we're dressed
and how we're positioned

00:02:00.537 --> 00:02:03.211
tends to be a little bit
more traditionally masculine

00:02:03.211 --> 00:02:05.180
because it shows that
there's not been too much

00:02:05.180 --> 00:02:09.347
thoughtfulness or effort
that's been placed in it.

00:02:14.403 --> 00:02:17.413
- The guy on the left is
really theatrical. (chuckles)

00:02:17.413 --> 00:02:18.246
- I can tell that he's a little bit more

00:02:18.246 --> 00:02:20.385
feminine in his gestures,

00:02:20.385 --> 00:02:22.163
but I find that kinda sexy.

00:02:22.163 --> 00:02:23.116
- You're a good buddy.

00:02:23.116 --> 00:02:24.096
You're not the type of person that I wanna

00:02:24.096 --> 00:02:25.457
take home with me. (chuckles)

00:02:25.457 --> 00:02:26.767
- I know what firework looks like.

00:02:26.767 --> 00:02:27.630
You don't have to do that.

00:02:27.630 --> 00:02:29.104
- His body language reads a lot friendlier

00:02:29.104 --> 00:02:29.986
than the other guy.

00:02:29.986 --> 00:02:31.891
- It was easier to just focus on Mr. Right

00:02:31.891 --> 00:02:33.242
because he was just staring at you.

00:02:33.242 --> 00:02:36.295
- I need that gain, that like,
"Are you interested in me?

00:02:36.295 --> 00:02:37.128
"Aren't you?"

00:02:37.128 --> 00:02:38.505
That's what entices me.

00:02:38.505 --> 00:02:39.505
- Hand gestures.

00:02:39.505 --> 00:02:41.356
I tend to use a lot of hand gestures.

00:02:41.356 --> 00:02:42.454
From one version of Broderick,

00:02:42.454 --> 00:02:44.387
you'll see him using his hands a lot more,

00:02:44.387 --> 00:02:46.525
and that tends to be less
traditionally masculine

00:02:46.525 --> 00:02:48.325
because it's opening up a little bit more

00:02:48.325 --> 00:02:50.050
of an emotional vulnerability.

00:02:50.050 --> 00:02:51.372
- Did you see that shot, though?

00:02:51.372 --> 00:02:52.572
- Dude, that thing was crazy!

00:02:52.572 --> 00:02:54.197
The whole apartment
started going wild, man.

00:02:54.197 --> 00:02:55.851
- But did you see that shot last night?

00:02:55.851 --> 00:02:58.184
- Dude, that thing was crazy, man.

00:02:58.184 --> 00:03:00.966
The whole apartment went
wild, yo. (laughing)

00:03:00.966 --> 00:03:01.819
- Him on the right.

00:03:01.819 --> 00:03:02.838
- Yeah, that was quick.

00:03:02.838 --> 00:03:03.671
(laughing)

00:03:03.671 --> 00:03:04.504
- How come?

00:03:04.504 --> 00:03:05.337
- His voice was deeper.

00:03:05.337 --> 00:03:06.770
- I get the juxtaposition,
but that was too slow.

00:03:06.770 --> 00:03:10.027
- He was able to just say
something, and it mattered.

00:03:10.027 --> 00:03:11.601
- I always wished that
I had that smooth voice.

00:03:11.601 --> 00:03:13.978
Just more chill and just more quiet.

00:03:13.978 --> 00:03:15.661
- I think I would be drawn to find

00:03:15.661 --> 00:03:17.111
the person with the lower voice

00:03:17.111 --> 00:03:19.650
than the guy with the high, squeaky voice.

00:03:19.650 --> 00:03:20.483
- [Matt] How come?

00:03:20.483 --> 00:03:22.718
- I grew up with men
that were very machismo.

00:03:22.718 --> 00:03:24.663
I see myself being attracted to that.

00:03:24.663 --> 00:03:28.615
- Speech can communicate a
lot, being slower, lower.

00:03:28.615 --> 00:03:30.367
There's something that tends to be

00:03:30.367 --> 00:03:31.819
a little more traditionally masculine

00:03:31.819 --> 00:03:35.402
because it doesn't
really show an openness.

00:03:41.474 --> 00:03:42.784
- Definitely on the right.

00:03:42.784 --> 00:03:43.617
- Yeah.

00:03:43.617 --> 00:03:44.597
- He's way more engaged.

00:03:44.597 --> 00:03:45.597
- So you find yourself really drawn

00:03:45.597 --> 00:03:47.053
to the one that's gonna be locked in.

00:03:47.053 --> 00:03:48.058
- Hell yeah!
- [Woman] Yeah.

00:03:48.058 --> 00:03:49.557
- He's leaning in a little
bit, that's endearing.

00:03:49.557 --> 00:03:51.447
- [Man] He looked like he was actually

00:03:51.447 --> 00:03:53.892
paying attention and cared.

00:03:53.892 --> 00:03:54.819
- What do you hate about
the guy on the left?

00:03:54.819 --> 00:03:56.345
- He's just looking at other people.

00:03:56.345 --> 00:03:57.178
- Don't make eye contact.

00:03:57.178 --> 00:03:58.011
Don't look at that ass.

00:03:58.011 --> 00:03:59.042
So just that little snippet is like,

00:03:59.042 --> 00:04:00.219
"Oh, that's sexy."

00:04:00.219 --> 00:04:02.429
- Eye contact really
conveys a lot of intimacy

00:04:02.429 --> 00:04:03.535
because when you're looking directly

00:04:03.535 --> 00:04:04.988
at somebody's eyes, it's like looking

00:04:04.988 --> 00:04:06.797
into the window of their souls.

00:04:06.797 --> 00:04:09.160
So, there can be an emotional
connection from that.

00:04:09.160 --> 00:04:09.993
- [Woman Wearing Hat] So what happened

00:04:09.993 --> 00:04:11.149
between you and your ex?

00:04:11.149 --> 00:04:12.196
(sighs)

00:04:12.196 --> 00:04:14.336
- Well, I always felt like I was the one

00:04:14.336 --> 00:04:16.727
loving her and caring
for her and everything,

00:04:16.727 --> 00:04:18.928
but it seems like she wasn't happy.

00:04:18.928 --> 00:04:20.494
She always felt like she was the one

00:04:20.494 --> 00:04:22.096
that was calling the shots

00:04:22.096 --> 00:04:24.371
and always doing everything right,

00:04:24.371 --> 00:04:25.764
and she basically broke my heart.

00:04:25.764 --> 00:04:28.514
Well, we tried to make it work...

00:04:33.890 --> 00:04:37.180
We went out a lot, we tried
to do different things,

00:04:37.180 --> 00:04:40.180
we tried to find the missing pieces,

00:04:41.106 --> 00:04:45.577
but unfortunately, we just
couldn't figure it out.

00:04:45.577 --> 00:04:47.478
- That was like Nicholas
Sparks up in here.

00:04:47.478 --> 00:04:50.383
- I think the left was a
little bit of a turn-off

00:04:50.383 --> 00:04:51.880
because he kept blaming her.

00:04:51.880 --> 00:04:53.431
- [Man] I was ready to
be like, "Fuck her."

00:04:53.431 --> 00:04:55.566
- [Woman] He just had
the answers too quickly.

00:04:55.566 --> 00:04:57.233
- He had closure, and
in the one on the right,

00:04:57.233 --> 00:04:59.195
there was a lot of ambiguity.

00:04:59.195 --> 00:05:00.744
- [Man] I was like, "Just spit it out!"

00:05:00.744 --> 00:05:02.646
- He was very internalized about it

00:05:02.646 --> 00:05:05.048
and just seemed like he was still thinking

00:05:05.048 --> 00:05:06.277
about it in his head.

00:05:06.277 --> 00:05:09.410
- He is not over her because
he's still saying we, we, we,

00:05:09.410 --> 00:05:12.414
whereas number one was like, I, I, I.

00:05:12.414 --> 00:05:14.579
- So emotional intelligence,
or EQ, is when you have

00:05:14.579 --> 00:05:16.615
a deeper awareness and insight

00:05:16.615 --> 00:05:18.151
about the emotional temperature

00:05:18.151 --> 00:05:19.668
of whatever might be going on.

00:05:19.668 --> 00:05:21.883
We can typically think
about how traditionally,

00:05:21.883 --> 00:05:23.853
a man is supposed to be really aggressive

00:05:23.853 --> 00:05:25.589
and forthcoming, otherwise it's showing

00:05:25.589 --> 00:05:27.723
an emotional awareness.

00:05:27.723 --> 00:05:29.819
- [Woman Wearing Hat] So,
when do you wanna hang out?

00:05:29.819 --> 00:05:31.383
- I'm free Wednesday.

00:05:31.383 --> 00:05:33.380
Are you free? I'm free after 6.

00:05:33.380 --> 00:05:34.615
- [Woman Wearing Hat] After 6 is good.

00:05:34.615 --> 00:05:36.344
- Dope, I know this really
dope Italian restaurant

00:05:36.344 --> 00:05:37.695
right down the street.

00:05:37.695 --> 00:05:39.493
I think you're gonna like
it. You like Italian food?

00:05:39.493 --> 00:05:40.326
- [Woman Wearing Hat] Yeah.

00:05:40.326 --> 00:05:42.044
- Awesome, I'm sure you're gonna love it.

00:05:42.044 --> 00:05:44.476
- Hey, I should get
your number real quick.

00:05:44.476 --> 00:05:45.991
- [Woman Wearing Hat] Okay,
so when do you want to--

00:05:45.991 --> 00:05:47.532
- Hey, we'll figure it out.

00:05:47.532 --> 00:05:49.059
I'll text you.

00:05:49.059 --> 00:05:51.078
Hey, can I get a drink for her real quick?

00:05:51.078 --> 00:05:51.911
- What.

00:05:51.911 --> 00:05:53.577
- Yeah, no way on the right.
- [Woman In Tank Top] Yeah.

00:05:53.577 --> 00:05:56.333
- I'd rather have an
exact plan and footprint.

00:05:56.333 --> 00:05:57.503
It just makes you feel like the person

00:05:57.503 --> 00:05:58.336
cares about you.

00:05:58.336 --> 00:05:59.889
- It's always like, "Yeah, whatever.

00:05:59.889 --> 00:06:00.821
"We'll figure it out."

00:06:00.821 --> 00:06:02.804
And that means that I'm
never gonna see you again.

00:06:02.804 --> 00:06:04.080
- Shit, I feel like I'm such a slut

00:06:04.080 --> 00:06:05.286
'cause I'd probably pick
the one on the right.

00:06:05.286 --> 00:06:06.362
- Maybe I'm a flake, I don't know.

00:06:06.362 --> 00:06:07.195
(chuckles)

00:06:07.195 --> 00:06:08.028
The pressure freaks me out.

00:06:08.028 --> 00:06:08.861
- [Woman] He knew how to play it.

00:06:08.861 --> 00:06:10.037
It was suave.

00:06:10.037 --> 00:06:11.241
- So there's something cool about it?

00:06:11.241 --> 00:06:12.074
It felt cool?

00:06:12.074 --> 00:06:12.907
- Yeah, the other guy was like,

00:06:12.907 --> 00:06:14.317
(grunts) "Can you get out your gCal

00:06:14.317 --> 00:06:16.449
"while we try and write
the date and time?"

00:06:16.449 --> 00:06:17.976
- Commitment tends to be something

00:06:17.976 --> 00:06:20.390
where we can tell a
little bit about a person,

00:06:20.390 --> 00:06:21.831
and traditionally speaking, a man

00:06:21.831 --> 00:06:23.701
isn't supposed to be as
committed or available

00:06:23.701 --> 00:06:26.533
as what you would think
of as the aloof guy.

00:06:26.533 --> 00:06:27.731
What's attractive about that?

00:06:27.731 --> 00:06:30.092
- I don't know what the fuck
is attractive about that.

00:06:30.092 --> 00:06:30.925
What is it?

00:06:30.925 --> 00:06:32.334
That's something deeper rooted in me

00:06:32.334 --> 00:06:34.151
where I'm vying for someone's attention.

00:06:34.151 --> 00:06:36.143
I don't know. That's fucked up, man.

00:06:36.143 --> 00:06:37.662
I don't know.

00:06:37.662 --> 00:06:38.632
- I definitely think that gender norms

00:06:38.632 --> 00:06:40.118
still actually influence,

00:06:40.118 --> 00:06:41.841
though I do think
there's been an evolution

00:06:41.841 --> 00:06:44.131
overall in terms of what that might mean

00:06:44.131 --> 00:06:46.028
and how things have been redefined.

00:06:46.028 --> 00:06:48.440
Some of us really exist
more in an emotional side,

00:06:48.440 --> 00:06:50.992
some of us exist in so much
more of a rational side,

00:06:50.992 --> 00:06:52.350
and it feels like those are two

00:06:52.350 --> 00:06:54.606
competing forces, and when we're guided

00:06:54.606 --> 00:06:57.566
by what society tells
us is okay and normal,

00:06:57.566 --> 00:07:00.044
then we're gonna be shifted to one end

00:07:00.044 --> 00:07:01.463
of the spectrum instead of being able

00:07:01.463 --> 00:07:03.638
to have a more realized sense of ourselves

00:07:03.638 --> 00:07:05.409
as balanced overall.

00:07:05.409 --> 00:07:06.430
- Let the nipples fly.

00:07:06.430 --> 00:07:07.263
(Matt laughs)

00:07:07.263 --> 00:07:08.096
Let it breathe.

00:07:08.096 --> 00:07:09.719
So I enjoy when men let it breathe, too.

00:07:09.719 --> 00:07:11.472
It makes me really happy.

00:07:11.472 --> 00:07:12.305
- Mmhmm.

00:07:12.305 --> 00:07:14.555
(laughing)