WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en

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- All I've really learned from porn is

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(pants) "Oh yeah."

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(whipping)

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(squeaking)

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(woman moaning)

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(slow funky music)

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- The pizza man is not
always delivering pizza.

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- Everyone's apartment is, like,

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worth millions of dollars (laughs).

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- I've learned that
porn is great to watch,

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but it's also fantasy.

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- A lesbian couple is just waiting

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for someone with a dick to come around.

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- Condoms just magically appear.

00:00:20.853 --> 00:00:23.536
- There's a lot of different
positions you can get into.

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- There is no mess with anal.

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- People make weird noises in porn.

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(pants)

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- I'm talking about tennis, guys.

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It's tennis.

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It's safe for work.

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- All women are a double Ds or Fs.

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- Eight inches spans from
this big to this big.

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- All women are instantly able to orgasm

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at the drop of a hat.

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- There's no need to get
consent in general usually.

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That's what I've learned from porn.

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- As long as, like, the women

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are being treated respectfully, enjoy it.

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(moans)

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- Yeah, that's all I know
from porn, that's it.

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- I've learned that moaning is an art form

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from porn (laughs).

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It really is, like, there
is a nice, like, sound

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and, like, cadence to, like, the way

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that a girl moans in porn.

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(laughs) Oh wow, I've learned so much.

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- It's here! It's here.

00:01:08.694 --> 00:01:11.304
- [All] It's here! It's here! It's here.

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- It's here.

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- [All] It's here.

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- Get it.

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- Get it.

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- Get it.

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- There.

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- There it is (laughs).

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- I think they got it. Get it.

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- Yeah.
- (girl in poncho) You get it.

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It's here.

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(digital music)

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- Quick.