WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en

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- I bind because it kind of

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quiets that dysphoria that I get.

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I bind because it makes me
feel safer when I'm outside.

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I bind because I think I look a lot hotter

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when I'm in a binder than when I'm not.

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(slow music)

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- I started binding about a year ago.

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- Two years.

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- Maybe eight months ago.

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- Six years.

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- I first started binding when
I was a teenager in college.

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- Almost five and half
years I binded, straight.

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(slow music)

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- You kind of just wear it like a tank top

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and, you know, it just
totally flattens your chest.

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- I think I had like
double D's and I would

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put on the binder and it
would probably go down

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two sizes just because it's so tight

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and it's like a suction cup almost.

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It's just holding
everything tightly together.

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- So, this is the one that I got during

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my freshman year (laughs) of college.

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You can see it's very,
very, very stretched out

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and like, you can see through it.

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- I'm not sure how this hole
happened, but it's there.

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- I like to be androgynous,

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so I feel like this helps me achieve that.

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- I don't know, I was
just really uncomfortable

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in T-shirts and I wear
a lot of button shirts.

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- Pretty open about it 'cause
I complain about it a lot.

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I also have friends who
are in the same situation

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where they also can't afford top surgery.

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(slow music)

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- It allowed me to go
out into public with,

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you know, a shirt on and
just be able to seen as a guy

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because, you know, it
was before top surgery.

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- If I didn't have my
binder, I couldn't function.

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I just couldn't go out, I
couldn't have dinner with friends.

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I couldn't talk to family
because I wasn't the Renee,

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the whole Renee or as
closest to the whole Renee

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I could be without my binder with me.

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- I've had dysphoria
from, with my breasts,

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since they grew in.

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I tried to use regular
tape to tape 'em down,

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so I was like what's happening?

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What is this little knot in my chest?

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- I have a lot of fear of,
you know, getting assaulted

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or just being stared at in public

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'cause I definitely don't
like to leave my apartment

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without my binder even to go to

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the corner store to buy a cup of coffee.

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- When you put it on
and it's what you want

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and what you need, it's
the most euphoric feeling.

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You're like, "Yes, I'm complete."

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- And seeing kind of a
silhouette that looks right

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instead of these weird
lumps in front of me.

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- They tell you to bind
correctly or it'll hurt,

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but I feel like binding just
doesn't feel good at all.

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- It was 77 degrees yesterday in New York

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and I was just, sweat
was pouring down my body.

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- (sighs) It feels really
good to take it off.

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- When people think about binding,

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they might think it's very constricting,

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something that's painful,
why would you wanna do that

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to your body, but it's just a way

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to kind of connect our mind to our body.

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- I didn't want to look like
or feel like I had breasts.

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Even though binding does help give

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that appearance that they are gone,

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it is a strong reminder
that they are there.

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- Sometimes you're
gonna put that binder on

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and it's not going to
change anything for you

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and it's okay to have those moments.

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- There's not a lot of discussions,

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especially outside of the
trans community about binding

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and I think that more
people should talk about it

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and we should be allowed
to be more open about it

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and feel more free
having these discussions.

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(peaceful music)