- I bind because it kind of
quiets that dysphoria that I get.
I bind because it makes me feel safer when I'm outside.
I bind because I think I look a lot hotter
when I'm in a binder than when I'm not.
(slow music)
- I started binding about a year ago.
- Two years.
- Maybe eight months ago.
- Six years.
- I first started binding when I was a teenager in college.
- Almost five and half years I binded, straight.
(slow music)
- You kind of just wear it like a tank top
and, you know, it just totally flattens your chest.
- I think I had like double D's and I would
put on the binder and it would probably go down
two sizes just because it's so tight
and it's like a suction cup almost.
It's just holding everything tightly together.
- So, this is the one that I got during
my freshman year (laughs) of college.
You can see it's very, very, very stretched out
and like, you can see through it.
- I'm not sure how this hole happened, but it's there.
- I like to be androgynous,
so I feel like this helps me achieve that.
- I don't know, I was just really uncomfortable
in T-shirts and I wear a lot of button shirts.
- Pretty open about it 'cause I complain about it a lot.
I also have friends who are in the same situation
where they also can't afford top surgery.
(slow music)
- It allowed me to go out into public with,
you know, a shirt on and just be able to seen as a guy
because, you know, it was before top surgery.
- If I didn't have my binder, I couldn't function.
I just couldn't go out, I couldn't have dinner with friends.
I couldn't talk to family because I wasn't the Renee,
the whole Renee or as closest to the whole Renee
I could be without my binder with me.
- I've had dysphoria from, with my breasts,
since they grew in.
I tried to use regular tape to tape 'em down,
so I was like what's happening?
What is this little knot in my chest?
- I have a lot of fear of, you know, getting assaulted
or just being stared at in public
'cause I definitely don't like to leave my apartment
without my binder even to go to
the corner store to buy a cup of coffee.
- When you put it on and it's what you want
and what you need, it's the most euphoric feeling.
You're like, "Yes, I'm complete."
- And seeing kind of a silhouette that looks right
instead of these weird lumps in front of me.
- They tell you to bind correctly or it'll hurt,
but I feel like binding just doesn't feel good at all.
- It was 77 degrees yesterday in New York
and I was just, sweat was pouring down my body.
- (sighs) It feels really good to take it off.
- When people think about binding,
they might think it's very constricting,
something that's painful, why would you wanna do that
to your body, but it's just a way
to kind of connect our mind to our body.
- I didn't want to look like or feel like I had breasts.
Even though binding does help give
that appearance that they are gone,
it is a strong reminder that they are there.
- Sometimes you're gonna put that binder on
and it's not going to change anything for you
and it's okay to have those moments.
- There's not a lot of discussions,
especially outside of the trans community about binding
and I think that more people should talk about it
and we should be allowed to be more open about it
and feel more free having these discussions.
(peaceful music)