WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en

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- [Voiceover] No more commuting.

00:00:06.809 --> 00:00:09.142
(whooshing)

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(light upbeat music)

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- [Woman In The Bathroom]
You left the seat up again.

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(sighs blowing lips)

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(lid slams down)

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(door slams)

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(light upbeat music)

00:00:43.289 --> 00:00:45.725
(whooshing)

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- Do you know what this means?

00:00:47.923 --> 00:00:49.340
- I can go skiing

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without buying lift tickets.

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Check the weather in Aspen.

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Yeah so I was flying yesterday
and saw this crazy go--

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- Oh my gosh Eli, we get it,

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you can fly, stop bragging.

00:01:01.511 --> 00:01:02.344
- Sorry y'all.

00:01:02.344 --> 00:01:03.811
- It's annoying man.

00:01:03.811 --> 00:01:06.236
- Well saki bombs in Japan in 10 minutes.

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See ya.

00:01:07.312 --> 00:01:09.623
(jumping propulsion)

00:01:09.623 --> 00:01:10.600
- You know I can play guitar

00:01:10.600 --> 00:01:12.517
but you don't hear me bragging about it.

00:01:12.517 --> 00:01:14.164
- Wanna go to John's or a club or a bar,

00:01:14.164 --> 00:01:16.154
or what do you wanna...

00:01:16.154 --> 00:01:17.461
- Look who made it to town for Halloween.

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- Holy shit cuz, come in.

00:01:20.078 --> 00:01:21.381
So what did you get me for Christmas?

00:01:21.381 --> 00:01:24.259
- Ho, ho, ho, Santa's in town.

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Guess who?

00:01:25.326 --> 00:01:27.416
- Again, can you call first?

00:01:27.416 --> 00:01:29.083
It's Valentines day.

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(drinking)
(muffled chatting)

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- [Voiceover] Ladies, ladies, ladies.

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- I agree.

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(humming)

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- Jared you were without a doubt

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the most qualified
candidate for this promotion

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so we're gonna give it to you.

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- Mother fucker!

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(zapping out of view)

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- Hey Venita, nice to finally meet you.

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How are you?

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- I'm good.

00:02:01.964 --> 00:02:02.909
- Why is she not wearing sandals?

00:02:02.909 --> 00:02:04.659
I wanna see her feet.

00:02:06.247 --> 00:02:09.466
- I just remembered that
I left my dishwasher on,

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so I gotta go.

00:02:14.102 --> 00:02:15.183
- [Man's Thoughts] I should just face it,

00:02:15.183 --> 00:02:17.587
I'll never have the
courage to ask her out.

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Too much of a nerd.

00:02:19.089 --> 00:02:20.622
- [Pink Haired Woman's Thoughts]
I only asked for that pen

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so in could look deeply into his eyes.

00:02:23.372 --> 00:02:24.622
- Just ask her.

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- [Dog's Thoughts] Puny human,

00:02:27.452 --> 00:02:31.619
all dogs are actually aliens
here to destroy the Earth.

00:02:33.056 --> 00:02:36.513
We are going to burn
your entire civilization,

00:02:36.513 --> 00:02:40.285
and you are the only human
being I've told this to.

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We've hypnotized every last one of 'em.