- I don't like having to swat away mosquitoes,
or landing in...
- You know what I gotta say about that (fart).
(laughs)
- Colin (laughs).
- Last episode, was won by Jordan.
Flip cup apparently is the greatest game of all time.
- So we're back, and this time we're here because Colin
and Ryan had an argument about camping.
We're going to camp tonight, do some activities, and listen
to their arguments, in the morning.
(beep)
- This is all great, but we still have to go to sleep
here tonight.
- We'll see if I wake up.
- [Jordan] Ryan. - [Colin] Ryan.
- Good morning, we just camped last night.
- Yeah there was also something lurking around our tent.
- I'm not sure what the hell that was.
- There was nothing lurking around your tent Ryan.
- No, there was definitely footsteps.
- To decide who's going to,
get to share their argument first.
We're going to play a game of spin the bottle.
I'm going to spin it, whoever it lands on, gets to go first.
- Oh that's pointed at Ryan.
- Ryan.
- Alright.
- Ryan's gonna to go first. (clapping)
- Oh fuck me.
- It's just a bee, Ryan.
- Alright let's make this quick, I hate camping here's why.
- First off, I love my free time, so why would I
want to spend a free night laying on the ground,
getting tagged by mosquitoes, cold and shivering
in a sleeping bag like a child at a slumber party.
Oh and not to mention the next morning, when I wake up
in a pool of my own sweat because the sun decided
it was time for me to get up.
- Ryan, these are all arguments for you sucking at camping.
- Look I get it, you want to embrace nature,
you know live in the elements, whatever.
Okay, but if that's the case, why are you sleeping
in something that's so pathetically trying to be a house.
I mean let's be honest, a house is way better, I mean it has
air conditioning, I can shower, sleep in a nice comfy bed.
And when I wake up in the middle of the night to take a pee.
I don't have to worry about dying which by the way
any activity where your trying to not die.
Half the time your doing it, is not a good activity.
- Okay I don't understand, why are you going to die when
you take a pee?
- Some crazy mountain man or some radioactive dude
comes up and tries to stab me or some dude with a knife.
- You've watched way too many movies.
- Here's the thing, there's limitless possibilities
of things that could happen to me.
Which also brings me to my next point.
Bears.
And yes I know that bears are historically not that violent
towards humans, but here's the thing, bears don't know that.
If you come face to face with a bear, are you really
going to put your life on the line because you think a bear
is educated on bear facts.
More then likely, I think your going to be, holy shit.
- That, is one of the best moments,
I've seen in any video we've made.
- Why don't you spend a few extra bucks on a place where
you can run into an eight foot killing machine.
Which reminds me, camping is also expensive as hell
for no reason.
Look, I don't think I need to say much more.
- We spent 20 dollars on this campsite last night.
- If you like camping still, great do you.
Just know, that by loving camping you're kinda setting us
back a couple centuries from an evolutionary standpoint.
And that's fine.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna take a nap, in my bed,
in air conditioning. Good day sir.
- Fucking yuppie.
- (groans) Man I'm jealous of my past self taking a nap.
- Kudos to you past Ryan, your doing it right.
- I think it's Colin's turn now.
We'll see what Colin has to say.
- Alright (clears throat).
- Who the fuck, in that outfit it's ridiculous.
- So you don't like camping, fine.
But I find that offensive.
Saying you don't like camping, is like saying you don't
like food or music or stories it's just way too broad.
And frankly, it makes you sound kinda stupid.
There's a thousand ways to sleep under the stars,
and yes that's reason number one that camping rules.
(whip snaps)
Okay obviously the proximity to nature thing is great.
But that's just the tip of the iceberg.
And yeah you can camp next to a fucking iceberg,
this guy did it in Iceland.
Have you ever cooked dinner in the woods? It's great.
Look how much fun these guys are having.
Let's not forget about campfires, you can drink whatever
you want, your not going anywhere.
Building campfires is great.
Sitting at campfires is great.
And s'mores.
People have been sitting around campfires telling stories
since the dawn of time.
Why? It's a lot of fun Ryan, and even the shittiest songs
are fun to sing around a campfire.
- Alright, I call bullshit on that one.
Every camp I've ever been in, in my entire life,
there's always one doing the acoustic guitar, and he sucks.
- I'll give him that, that guy is annoying.
- Your right, that guys a pain in the ass and
if that guy is watching at home.
He should...
- Stop being that guy.
(laughs)
You know what you need for a campfire, wood.
Look at this old dude, he's like a 100 years old and he's
still whacking away.
(laughs)
Then the embers die down, and you go to bed,
and you get to wake up to the sunrise.
It's the best feeling in the world.
(whip snaps)
You know why it rules? Because you get to go to the swimming
hole or a cave or the top of a mountain tomorrow morning.
And Hot Springs.
Hot springs, Ryan.
They're like God's Jacuzzi's.
(whip snaps twice)
Hey, maybe you just want to sit around camp, and get deep
with an old friend.
That's fine, you do you.
And here's another thing, this shit is cheap,
(whip snaps)
25 bucks and you get a million dollar ocean view.
Check out this spot, I was in last weekend.
You don't have to be a full blown gear nut like me.
All you really need is, a sleeping bag, a bad of trail mix,
and a pair of sneakers.
- Alright, we all know that's bullshit.
- You kinda need a little bit more then that Colin.
- You kinda need, a lot of equipment.
If I went camping with just those three things, I'd be dead
by next morning.
- Everything else is optional.
(whistles)
- Why did you have to subject us to old man butt?
- Did I mention that outdoor sex is about the greatest
thing there is? You can be as loud as you want.
(moans)
And there's literally no one around to hear you.
(whip snaps)
A campsite, is probably one of the only places in the world
where men and women can be as uncivilized as they like,
and still get laid.
But I don't want to get gross and dirty and covered in bugs.
Glamping is perfectly alright.
Who wouldn't want to sleep in a feather bed
- Alright.
in the wilderness?
This is total bullshit here, glamping does not count.
- Maybe you just want to spend some time alone and then
you get the best thing nature offers, pure silence.
But let's get real for a moment, most of us
are going to go camping with our friends and family.
And that's more then just a shared hobby.
When you venture into the wilderness with people,
your telling them that you truly, deeply
want to enjoy their company.
And there aren't very many place left, where you can
find that kind of honesty.
And let me ask you something Ryan, are you having
fun right now, are ya?
(whip snaps twice)
- Are ya?
- Not really (laughs uncomfortably).
- So to sum up, Ryan hates camping because it's
uncomfortable, nature is too dangerous, and it's not fun,
and it's expensive.
We're not in exactly, the most glamorous spot right here.
We're in the middle of the desert, who knows who's out here
or what's out here.
- Your a lunatic, it's beautiful out here.
- On the other side of things, Colin enjoys camping
for many reasons, mostly that it connects you to
those around you, nature is beautiful, it's inexpensive,
and it's a cool way to spend your time.
- And have sex.
- And have sex, well spend your time, have sex,
it's all the same, right?
- Because you can't have sex at home.
- I think you both make very good points, I'm not
going to make the decision as to who wins.
We're going to again, leave it up to our audience.
Please vote, let us know who you think won, and we'll
let you know next time.
- Humans evolved, so they could live better, that's how
we survived.
Holy shit that guys...
- Carter!
- a speed demon.
- Carter, hi.
- See if I was Carter, I would dig camping.