(upbeat music)
- Freshman year of college
I had a pretty rowdy group of friends.
- On Sundays we used to go to
this one friend's house outside of the city.
- We'd always have a bonfire, and we'd drink a lot.
- There was a Porta Potty on the land
and we decided that it'd be funny to put it on the fire.
- All of us like we'd get the Porta Potty,
we'd put it on top of the fire.
- It went up in a wonderful blaze of glory.
- I remember opening up the door and like seeing
the flame come through the toilet.
- So we went back to the house,
and my friend who was the owner of the land and Porta Potty,
he asked who put it on the fire.
And we all played stupid.
- He was like, "if you guys don't replace it,
I'm gonna whip your ass, whoop your ass, whoop your ass"
and emphasis on my ass.
- Because like, I was like, mainly responsible.
- So all week in between classes,
I drove in that part of the city.
- Looking for Porta Potties.
I went to like construction sites,
and I went to like, apartment complexes.
- Finally found one.
- I got two of my friends, one of them had a truck.
- To, you know, steal this Porta Potty.
- I couldn't lift it, 'cause like, I'm little,
so we had to call more friends.
But like, I was in the middle,
and so we were lifting it up and--
- The pee and the poo fell all over me.
- From like my waist down I'm like covered.
- And it was so gross.
I smelled so bad, and I hated it so much.
- In spite of that, we got it on the truck,
and it laid flat 'cause those things are so tall.
So we got in the truck, and as we were driving back--
- My friend almost wanted to give up,
he was like about to, like, throw up.
- But I was like, "Just keep driving,
like, we have to get there."
- so when we get back to my friend's house,
he has a party going on,
which is what he needed the Porta Potty for to begin with.
So there's a whole bunch of people there.
- And they see us with like
this ridiculous Porta Potty in the back of a truck,
and they all start cheering for us.
- Went home, took a shower,
got back and finished the night, partied.
- I took about four showers and I went to the party.
- I went back home, and I took a shower,
and then I went and partied.
(dramatic music)