WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en

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Why Tea is Better Than Coffee

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Tea is filled with health benefits.

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Including the ability to possibly help prevent CANCER.

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What do you got coffee?

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You punk ass B**ch!

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Did you know that tea originated 3,000 years before coffee?

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You need to respect your elders, son! 

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Drinking tea can help calm you down.

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While drinking coffee turns you into a caffeinated lunatic hell-bent on eating babies.

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People on coffee crash HARD.

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But tea drinkers are just like, "Alright, I guess I'll just have some more tea".

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SUCK IT COFFEE! 

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There's a broad spectrum of tea from white

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to black to friggin' flowers! 

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Look at that! I just made tea, B**ches!

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Out of FLOWERS!

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What does coffee have? Oh, it's just brown bean water! 

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Coffee yellows your teeth, whereas most teas actually contain fluoride to help fight plaque.

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DAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMNNNNNNNNNNN

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Making loose leaf tea is a big deal in East Asian countries which is why they have tea ceremonies.

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They rock that s**t! And it beautiful as hell! 

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Look at that tea unfurl! Mmmm! 

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I feel myself reconnecting with nature with every sip.

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Coffee grinds just look like poop.

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Poopy. Poopy. Caca.

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Look, tea is not just about old ladies and

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tea parties

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and old lady tea parties! F**K!

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In conclusion, tea is the nectar of the GODS

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and will keep you alive and happy forever.

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And coffee...well...

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(fart noise)

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And coffee, can go f**k itself!