WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en

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- If it has a penis
it's probably about sex.

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- It's when someone
texts you late at night

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and they say, "You up?" cause
they looking for the goods.

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- What are the goods?

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- The sex goods.

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- They want to sleep with you

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but not in the conventional
(snores loud) sleep.

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More like the (imitates creaking noises).

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- Look, I have never sent one of these

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because I'm a gentleman. (laughs)

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(imitates creaking noises)

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- It's a squeaky door?

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You guys ever received,
or sent 'you up' texts?

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- I plead the fifth.

00:00:28.543 --> 00:00:29.525
- I think so, yeah.

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There's some, there's a couple times,

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where I've left a bar...

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- I normally send those
I don't receive those.

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- Nah, I've never said, "You up?"

00:00:37.298 --> 00:00:39.852
- Sometimes the nights get
cold, the nights get lonely.

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- Uhh...

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- You got to check to see
if you're wife is up because

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(laughs) if she's awake
then you might be able

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to watch TV with her.

00:00:52.251 --> 00:00:54.241
- If you get a 'you up'
text the dude's just like...

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One he's not creative.

00:00:55.322 --> 00:00:57.505
- I might have sent a 'you up' text

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once or twice in my life.

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- How about you just ask
them about their day.

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How about you ask about
how things are going on...

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- Did it work?

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- Um, no.

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- Can I get an Amen?!

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What are we doing up in here?

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Stop sending 'you up' texts.

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Stop sending them.

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We got to do better people.

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- Oh, I always do y-o-u
because I keep it classy.

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- You have to spell it you in any context.

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- I don't associate with people
who only use the letter u.

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- Just u. Got to keep it real.

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- I do put in yo because I
like to keep it informal.

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Keep it hip.

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- If you get a text late at
night, it says, "You up?"

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It means somebody want to get them goods.

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And them goods be all the
good things you have to offer.

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I'm not going to impose
how you have sex upon you.

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Maybe a door, maybe a bed.

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- Thank you, yeah. Great.

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- But nothing else.