Ever find yourself drowning, even though there is no water around?

Being unable to see in the brightest of days?

Or getting lost on a path you that you have traveled so many times?

I have. Many times. And to an extent, still do. Though i’v carried such uncertainty within me for most of my time alive, only the past year or so has it surfaced within my mind to a degree of which has almost lead to a path of no return.

A path that would end what I am. End what I could have been. Or ever will be.

What started out as intrusive, soon forged to thoughts of why even continue. Why bother with suffering in a world unfair. Why even live if there is no point to it all. . .

I’v thought about it. How to end it. to great extent. To a level of which I was afraid of even myself. Instructions were even written, to to be given to those I love the most. Instructions on how to let all of you know how I have left. A final goodbye to all of you.

With that in possession, and my internal light almost burnt out, what more was left? My mind was now a dim, empty room with me in the middle of it. flame barely going, and a shadowed version of myself encouraging that the time is now. That pain is only temporary, and peace will follow after.

I’v been tired for so long now. And when it’s done, I can finally rest without worry. . .

It almost happened. Without the knowledge of my parents or My friends. But for some reason, my fire grew a little towards the end. I fought back within my mind. I could see the light again, and before I knew it, I was in control again. A path that was leading me to self destruction suddenly had a turnoff. And I took it.

Despite what has lead me here, The little things keep me going. I see that life in it of it self is precious. Something that is to be experienced if given that chance. i’v decided that if my time is to run out, that it will be not by my own doing, but through the power of the universe itself.

As far as I see, i’m here to stay!

For those of you who have stayed with me for all these years. For those of you who have shared your thoughts. Shared your love. shared your support towards me. . . I’m so sorry. Sorry for considering such an act. I became weak. I left you all behind. I left so many behind. But i’m trying. Everyday looks better, and though i’ll still get down sometimes, I can always look forward to the day after.

If any of you ever find yourself in a situation that might lead to your end. Reach out, please. Don’t let your mind wonder into the paths i’v ended up in. Not everyone finds their turnoff, like I have.

That is all from me for now. Till then, I’ll see you guys forward

With love; Template93 (Corey M. McClure)

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This was a 6.5 hour master work

Music Used; Enzalla - Cobalt

Art; https://template93.deviantart.com/art/Moving-Forward-730213508

Deviantart; https://template93.deviantart.com/

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