WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en

00:00:00.567 --> 00:00:02.101
      <i> ( doorbell rings )</i>       

00:00:02.136 --> 00:00:03.736
   WELL, SEYMOUR, I MADE IT     

00:00:03.771 --> 00:00:05.137
  DESPITE YOUR DIRECTIONS.      

00:00:05.172 --> 00:00:07.172
       SUPERINTENDENT CHALMERS, 
               WELCOME.         

00:00:07.208 --> 00:00:09.308
     I HOPE YOU'RE PREPARED FOR 
     AN UNFORGETTABLE LUNCHEON. 

00:00:09.343 --> 00:00:10.642
             YEAH.              

00:00:14.115 --> 00:00:16.115
         OH, YE GODS!           

00:00:16.150 --> 00:00:17.583
      MY ROAST IS RUINED.       

00:00:19.153 --> 00:00:21.053
        BUT WHAT IF...          

00:00:21.088 --> 00:00:22.821
 I WERE TO PURCHASE FAST FOOD   

00:00:22.857 --> 00:00:25.157
        AND DISGUISE IT         
      AS MY OWN COOKING?        

00:00:25.192 --> 00:00:26.558
        HO-HO-HO-HO-HO.         

00:00:28.863 --> 00:00:30.295
    <i> ( theme music plays )</i>      

00:00:30.331 --> 00:00:33.332
          ♪ SKINNER,            
 WITH HIS CRAZY EXPLANATIONS ♪  

00:00:33.367 --> 00:00:36.235
    ♪ THE SUPERINTENDENT'S      
  GONNA NEED HIS MEDICATION ♪   

00:00:36.270 --> 00:00:38.971
   ♪ WHEN HE HEARS SKINNER'S    
     LAME EXAGGERATIONS ♪       

00:00:39.006 --> 00:00:41.240
     ♪ THERE'LL BE TROUBLE      
       IN TOWN TONIGHT ♪        

00:00:41.275 --> 00:00:42.908
           SEYMOUR!             

00:00:42.943 --> 00:00:44.209
             SUPERINTENDENT!    

00:00:44.245 --> 00:00:46.345
WHY IS THERE SMOKE COMING OUT   
   OF YOUR OVEN, SEYMOUR?       

00:00:46.380 --> 00:00:48.347
    UH... OH! THAT ISN'T SMOKE. 

00:00:48.382 --> 00:00:49.515
                  IT'S STEAM.   

00:00:49.550 --> 00:00:51.884
   STEAM FROM THE STEAMED CLAMS 
           WE'RE HAVING.        

00:00:51.919 --> 00:00:53.285
            MMM, STEAMED CLAMS. 

00:00:58.359 --> 00:01:00.192
               SUPERINTENDENT,  
             I HOPE YOU'RE READY

00:01:00.227 --> 00:01:01.927
             FOR MOUTH-WATERING 
                 HAMBURGERS.    

00:01:01.962 --> 00:01:04.530
I THOUGHT WE WERE HAVING        
     STEAMED CLAMS.             

00:01:04.565 --> 00:01:07.032
                 OH, NO, I SAID 
                 "STEAMED HAMS."

00:01:07.067 --> 00:01:08.634
                 THAT'S WHAT    
             I CALL HAMBURGERS. 

00:01:08.669 --> 00:01:11.036
      YOU CALL HAMBURGERS       
        "STEAMED HAMS"?         

00:01:11.071 --> 00:01:12.571
       IT'S A REGIONAL DIALECT. 

00:01:12.606 --> 00:01:13.639
      WHAT REGION?              

00:01:13.674 --> 00:01:15.274
          UH, UPSTATE NEW YORK. 

00:01:15.309 --> 00:01:17.776
 REALLY? WELL, I'M FROM UTICA   

00:01:17.812 --> 00:01:20.279
AND I'VE NEVER HEARD ANYONE USE 
  THE PHRASE "STEAMED HAMS."    

00:01:20.314 --> 00:01:22.614
        OH, NOT IN UTICA, NO,   
     IT'S AN ALBANY EXPRESSION. 

00:01:22.650 --> 00:01:23.649
            I SEE.              

00:01:24.919 --> 00:01:26.852
  YOU KNOW, THESE HAMBURGERS    
       ARE QUITE SIMILAR        

00:01:26.887 --> 00:01:28.854
     TO THE ONES THEY HAVE      
       AT KRUSTY BURGER.        

00:01:28.889 --> 00:01:30.722
                  <i> ( laughing ):</i>
                       OH, NO.  

00:01:30.758 --> 00:01:33.692
       PATENTED SKINNER BURGERS,
          OLD FAMILY RECIPE.    

00:01:33.727 --> 00:01:36.128
       FOR STEAMED HAMS.        
                YES.            

00:01:36.163 --> 00:01:37.863
     YES, AND YOU CALL THEM     
     STEAMED HAMS               

00:01:37.898 --> 00:01:39.965
     DESPITE THE FACT THEY      
    ARE OBVIOUSLY GRILLED.      

00:01:40.000 --> 00:01:42.801
                  Y-YOU KNOW... 

00:01:44.638 --> 00:01:46.872
              ONE THING I SH... 

00:01:46.907 --> 00:01:48.106
      EXCUSE ME FOR ONE SECOND. 

00:01:48.142 --> 00:01:49.141
 OF COURSE.                     

00:01:50.277 --> 00:01:52.377
                  AH, WELL,     
             THAT WAS WONDERFUL.

00:01:52.413 --> 00:01:54.379
       GOOD TIME WAS HAD BY ALL.
              I'M POOPED.       

00:01:54.415 --> 00:01:55.547
      YES, I SHOULD BE...       

00:01:55.583 --> 00:01:57.850
GOOD LORD! WHAT IS              
HAPPENING IN THERE?             

00:01:57.885 --> 00:01:59.051
               AURORA BOREALIS. 

00:01:59.086 --> 00:02:02.020
       AURORA BOREALIS?!        

00:02:02.056 --> 00:02:03.355
     AT THIS TIME OF YEAR       

00:02:03.390 --> 00:02:04.623
      AT THIS TIME OF DAY       

00:02:04.658 --> 00:02:06.225
  IN THIS PART OF THE COUNTRY   

00:02:06.260 --> 00:02:08.760
      LOCALIZED ENTIRELY        
     WITHIN YOUR KITCHEN?       

00:02:08.796 --> 00:02:10.095
                 YES.           

00:02:10.130 --> 00:02:11.530
         MAY I SEE IT?          

00:02:11.565 --> 00:02:13.165
                NO.             

00:02:13.200 --> 00:02:16.034
       Skinner's mother:        
SEYMOUR, THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE!  

00:02:16.070 --> 00:02:18.504
           NO, MOTHER, IT'S JUST
           THE NORTHERN LIGHTS. 

00:02:18.539 --> 00:02:20.873
   WELL, SEYMOUR,               
YOU ARE AN ODD FELLOW           

00:02:20.908 --> 00:02:23.308
   BUT I MUST SAY,              
YOU STEAM A GOOD HAM.           

00:02:25.112 --> 00:02:26.545
       Skinner's mother:        
             HELP!              

00:02:26.580 --> 00:02:28.514
             HELP!              

00:02:28.549 --> 00:02:30.982
      <i> ( siren blaring )</i>