(wind)
(gunshot, breaking glass, gunshot)
Flog: That proves it Mud, you’re a horrible shot.
Mud: Ah can’t aim right with the scary pink pony watching me...She’s scary.
Flog: Pink Pony? You mean Ponkers? She’s long dead ya moron. Just like all the rest.
Mud: Well the big picture over there. Feel like she’s watchin’ me. It's worse than the little ones.
Flog: Well her ministry is the most seen in these wastes.
Get me a new cuppa and shut the fuck up!
Storyteller: And that’s how Rarity wanted it.
Flog: Who the fuck are you?
Storyteller: Hmm...Well, most call me The Storyteller.
Flog: Right fucker...well scram.
Storyteller: No need for violence.
I just want to correct your statement.
The Ministry of Morale is not the most prominent ministry in the wasteland.
Flog: Here’s a secret: I don't give a fuck.
Mud: Ah’d actually like ta know.
Flog: Shut up, Mud!
Storyteller: “Mud” was it?
Mud: Yeah! It's the name my momma gave me!
Storyteller: The Ministry with the widest reaching presence in the wasteland
is the Ministry of Image.
Mud: What’s that?
Storyteller: It was the ministry run by Rarity, the Element of Generosity.
One of the few ministry mares to personally take charge of her ministry.
Now when I say it had the most presence,
I don't mean it is the most known.
This was by design.
Every poster and bulletin board made for the other ministries,
all business advertisements, and all war propaganda
were designed and manufactured by the Ministry of Image.
You may have been in a Ministry hub and not have known it,
since most filled innocuous functions, such as the local news publisher.
The buildings weren’t flashy and didn’t stand out.
All except for the hubs that were in Canterlot and The Hoof.
They had strict guidelines on how pictures of Equestria were shown.
Representation quotas for the pony races,
even a preference to more colorful pony palettes.
In contrast to the dark and sinister depictions of Zebras they fabricated.
Showing ponies to be bright and kind
while Zebras were dark and savage.
Simple manipulation, but effective.
Mud: That's not very nice.
Storyteller: It wasn’t,
but it was all in the name of the war
and rationalized as being “for the greater good of Equestria.”
The Ministry of Image ordered mass recalls of books
to be “sanitized of all harmful or malicious information.”
Many books were recalled and never reprinted
due to them being deemed too unsafe for pony consumption.
Most have been lost to the wasteland,
but I heard that Rarity gave unedited editions to her friend,
Twilight Sparkle, for her personal collection.
Rumor has it that some private library might exist in Tenpony Tower
or one of the other Ministry of Arcane Sciences hubs.
Apparently, Rarity had trained or enchanted Parasprites,
the non-mutated versions of Bloatsprites and Paradores,
to eat specific words right off the pages of the books she sanitized.
Flog: Heh, this Ministry of Image seems more like the Ministry of Information Control.
Storyteller: That was one of the points of the ministry.
Maintain Equestria’s glorious image at all costs.
They did have their hooves in other aspects of the war, however.
As a combined project with the Ministry of Awesome,
the Ministry of Image designed the power armor used by the pegasi.
If Rarity had known she would be helping what would later become the Enclave,
she might have done it anyway.
Mud: What else they do?
Storyteller: I do admit my notes are incomplete,
despite my best efforts.
The Ministry of Image chose to stay in the background.
Their hubs were not fortified.
So much of what they actually did is lost
or scattered in random mainframes yet to be discovered.
I have come across information on something called “Project Eternity”,
that was run by the Ministry of Image,
though not much else on it.
All mentions pointed to Hoofington as the location of the project,
and I haven’t spent much time out there.
Flog: A’ight mate, ya told ya story. Now scram!
Mud: So what ministry's the scary pink pony from?
Flog: Will you stop encouraging him, Mud!
Storyteller: Pinkie Pie?
She was the Ministry Mare of the Ministry of Morale.
(thud, thud) But that–
(static, body falling over)
Skeeves: I leave you two alone for 10 minutes
and when I get back you are chatting it up with this Apple-Dapple Ranger over here.
Care to explain?
Flog: Mud was the one talking, I was trying to get him to piss the fuck off.
(smack)
Skeeves: You idiots!
Don’t you realize how powerful those suits of armor are?
They rarely ever travel alone.
And when they do:
you pop them,
ya take their armor,
and you leave.
You win the game.
They get screwed over.
It's not our problem, we have armor.
See? It's the natural circle of life.
You should know this Flog!
Flog: Right...sorry Skeeves.
Mud: Yeah...sorry.
Skeeves: Its fine.
Now, haul him back to camp, I need to get my can opener.