WEBVTT Kind: captions Language: en 00:00:14.940 --> 00:00:18.140 We're going on a trip. 00:00:22.900 --> 00:00:25.550 My name is Arjen Lamé. 00:00:25.950 --> 00:00:30.310 And in the summer of 2010 I went on a road trip through southern England. 00:00:30.640 --> 00:00:34.340 It was a trip of self-discovery and adventure... 00:00:34.440 --> 00:00:37.020 ...and perhaps I should have learned something from it. 00:00:37.590 --> 00:00:40.740 Anyway, this is my report. 00:00:44.160 --> 00:00:46.620 Well, I survived the trip... 00:00:47.310 --> 00:00:48.190 ...I guess... 00:00:49.040 --> 00:00:52.380 And, em, I'm currently here... 00:00:52.610 --> 00:00:55.800 ...at Howfeld Manor. 00:00:57.250 --> 00:00:59.730 Fifty Pounds. 00:01:00.750 --> 00:01:02.310 It is, eh... 00:01:03.490 --> 00:01:05.660 Rather basic, actually. 00:01:11.290 --> 00:01:14.210 And my room is there, in the corner. 00:01:15.550 --> 00:01:16.710 Alright. 00:01:17.730 --> 00:01:20.790 This is the first hotel room. 00:01:22.090 --> 00:01:24.930 It's not big but, em... 00:01:25.270 --> 00:01:28.760 ...it's got everything I need. 00:01:28.750 --> 00:01:30.410 TV with a thousand channels... 00:01:30.450 --> 00:01:31.570 ...almost literally. 00:01:31.600 --> 00:01:33.760 And the most important thing is... 00:01:33.790 --> 00:01:36.960 ...free wifi. Quite convenient. 00:01:44.120 --> 00:01:45.950 Castle. 00:01:48.130 --> 00:01:53.770 Eeeh, yea. Seeminly, I arrived at Canterbury castle. 00:01:54.820 --> 00:01:56.470 Castle. 00:01:59.200 --> 00:02:01.820 But it looks rather rubbish. 00:02:03.450 --> 00:02:05.360 It definitely had better days. 00:02:08.120 --> 00:02:10.130 Oh, look. 00:02:10.610 --> 00:02:11.920 A door. 00:02:12.920 --> 00:02:15.400 Let's go through it. 00:02:16.160 --> 00:02:19.570 Ooooh, spooky. 00:02:28.350 --> 00:02:29.850 Y'know.... 00:02:30.500 --> 00:02:33.280 Kinda looks like a skull. 00:02:33.510 --> 00:02:35.460 With the two windows and that hole there. 00:02:36.340 --> 00:02:38.110 Funny. 00:02:42.570 --> 00:02:44.030 Hey! You there! 00:02:44.590 --> 00:02:46.990 Bunch of assholes! 00:02:48.610 --> 00:02:50.170 Oh well. 00:02:51.110 --> 00:02:53.430 And seemingly this thing had- 00:02:55.500 --> 00:02:56.930 Hello... 00:03:00.650 --> 00:03:04.820 You free-loaders. 00:03:04.930 --> 00:03:07.650 Well, I just had it with this here castle. 00:03:07.690 --> 00:03:08.960 Oh. 00:03:09.110 --> 00:03:11.390 What is this? 00:03:11.800 --> 00:03:13.750 Hmmmm... 00:03:15.640 --> 00:03:17.680 Text. 00:03:27.580 --> 00:03:29.450 Why! 00:03:29.570 --> 00:03:31.710 It's almost like it has a little sign... 00:03:31.720 --> 00:03:33.230 "This was the trial version... 00:03:33.560 --> 00:03:36.330 pay twenty euros and you may continue". 00:03:36.480 --> 00:03:39.990 Well, yea, let move on... 00:03:40.210 --> 00:03:41.790 ...let's head back. 00:03:54.290 --> 00:03:55.140 Hmmm... 00:03:56.700 --> 00:03:58.130 Church. 00:04:01.020 --> 00:04:02.950 Tourists. 00:04:03.460 --> 00:04:05.560 Hey. 00:04:06.510 --> 00:04:08.220 Starbucks. 00:04:08.330 --> 00:04:10.000 Let's go have some. 00:04:10.530 --> 00:04:11.620 Hmmm... 00:04:11.650 --> 00:04:13.820 Street musicians. 00:04:14.850 --> 00:04:16.220 ...that's less fortunate. 00:04:18.370 --> 00:04:19.930 Old. 00:04:28.110 --> 00:04:29.020 Oh yea... 00:04:29.700 --> 00:04:31.260 ...this is fantastic... 00:04:31.260 --> 00:04:33.520 ...Netherlands, I want Starbucks. 00:04:33.750 --> 00:04:35.120 I want it now! 00:04:39.700 --> 00:04:40.410 Ok. 00:04:40.690 --> 00:04:42.690 And suddenly I find myself in London. 00:04:43.460 --> 00:04:44.610 S'cuse me. 00:04:46.190 --> 00:04:48.700 And, eh, yea... 00:04:49.240 --> 00:04:50.790 ...it's a shady neighborhood... 00:04:50.830 --> 00:04:52.920 ...with people who can't drive... 00:04:54.140 --> 00:04:55.570 ...and... 00:04:58.080 --> 00:04:58.500 Whut. 00:04:59.200 --> 00:05:01.490 Almost in the city centre, but not entirely... 00:05:01.440 --> 00:05:03.970 ...more like a suburb or something. 00:05:04.830 --> 00:05:07.200 I have my own parking spot... 00:05:07.680 --> 00:05:09.450 ...with squirrels. 00:05:11.560 --> 00:05:13.240 What the fuck. 00:05:14.710 --> 00:05:17.320 So, and now it's time for a Bavaria. 00:05:18.190 --> 00:05:20.670 I mean, you guys, check this out. 00:05:24.760 --> 00:05:28.000 Because someone silly didn't do their job... 00:05:28.520 --> 00:05:30.070 ...I'm faced with... 00:05:30.440 --> 00:05:32.580 ...three beds. 00:05:33.880 --> 00:05:35.860 This is too much bed. 00:05:37.930 --> 00:05:41.360 This is definitely too much bed. 00:05:42.640 --> 00:05:45.830 I can't use all this bed all by myself. 00:05:46.960 --> 00:05:49.590 Whole... whole story here. 00:05:50.120 --> 00:05:51.870 Boring! Not gonna read that. 00:05:51.880 --> 00:05:55.080 I guess this is another three million channels. 00:05:55.930 --> 00:05:58.680 The only downside is that you... 00:05:59.170 --> 00:06:02.270 ...have a wonderful view over... 00:06:03.060 --> 00:06:07.220 ...shady people on the street. 00:06:07.670 --> 00:06:09.300 Oh, and this is quite neat... 00:06:10.530 --> 00:06:12.160 Check this out. 00:06:18.560 --> 00:06:21.270 Em, yea, uh... 00:06:23.320 --> 00:06:25.950 ...from that parking lot, em... 00:06:27.260 --> 00:06:31.100 ...I suddenly find myself in London, city centre, of. 00:06:32.900 --> 00:06:35.490 Look at this shady thing. 00:06:36.940 --> 00:06:39.020 If something is Victorian... 00:06:39.520 --> 00:06:44.110 ...and steampunk, I'm sure this is it. 00:07:17.980 --> 00:07:19.990 Greenwich. 00:07:22.440 --> 00:07:24.700 Oh joy. 00:07:33.680 --> 00:07:38.440 This is quite an impressive statue. 00:07:40.260 --> 00:07:42.990 Not necessarily because it is big... 00:07:42.950 --> 00:07:46.050 ...even though it certainly helps. 00:07:47.890 --> 00:07:50.410 But upon closer inspection we can see... 00:07:53.430 --> 00:07:55.590 ...that it is some sort of 3D... 00:07:55.900 --> 00:07:58.450 ...slideshow. 00:08:06.650 --> 00:08:10.280 I don't think the camera is doing it enough justice... 00:08:10.240 --> 00:08:12.690 ...because of a lack of light. 00:08:15.010 --> 00:08:17.230 It's kinda grainy. 00:08:19.560 --> 00:08:22.950 But it should give you an impression of how it is... 00:08:24.000 --> 00:08:26.710 ...to see this in real life. 00:08:29.570 --> 00:08:31.180 And this is the station... 00:08:32.750 --> 00:08:39.860 This is where the Eurostar arrives from Fran- Paris and from Brussles nowadays. 00:08:41.940 --> 00:08:45.850 The station is designed to recreate the Victorian atmosphere... 00:08:46.470 --> 00:08:49.970 ...to recreate... 00:08:52.130 --> 00:08:55.200 ...that was the norm... 00:08:57.100 --> 00:08:59.860 ...back then. 00:09:03.450 --> 00:09:04.680 There... 00:09:04.750 --> 00:09:10.110 ...that was enough London for one trip. 00:09:10.060 --> 00:09:13.830 And now I'm somewhere in the middle of nowhere. 00:09:13.860 --> 00:09:17.040 But the plan is to go to Brighton, so, eh... 00:09:17.830 --> 00:09:19.020 Got some food here... 00:09:19.520 --> 00:09:21.310 ...got some of those scones. 00:09:22.940 --> 00:09:24.380 And let's carry on, shall we? 00:09:25.530 --> 00:09:28.500 Hmmm, it's the North sea. 00:09:30.420 --> 00:09:32.110 And there's a pier. 00:09:32.880 --> 00:09:36.600 But of course it's not as impressive as the one we'll find in Brighton. 00:09:38.400 --> 00:09:41.840 And in case you don't know where we are, we're in, eh... 00:09:42.590 --> 00:09:44.500 ...Eastbourne. 00:09:45.950 --> 00:09:48.680 This thing is shady. 00:09:49.990 --> 00:09:51.570 A pier. 00:09:52.740 --> 00:09:54.610 This one is definitely a tad different. 00:09:59.470 --> 00:10:01.810 Oh well, this is, um... 00:10:06.020 --> 00:10:08.270 Brighton, yea. 00:10:11.900 --> 00:10:14.200 I have no idea what that is supposed to be. 00:10:14.250 --> 00:10:16.460 But it's not finished. 00:10:24.680 --> 00:10:26.320 Yea. 00:10:27.420 --> 00:10:30.820 Cliffs... hmmm. 00:10:35.080 --> 00:10:38.620 And suddenly I find myself on the pier. 00:10:40.230 --> 00:10:42.430 Statue. 00:10:43.620 --> 00:10:45.880 The HMS Victory. 00:10:50.490 --> 00:10:53.870 And as if that isn't enough, we have... 00:10:54.470 --> 00:10:56.660 ...even more naval ships... 00:10:57.340 --> 00:10:59.320 ...like this here thing. 00:11:00.590 --> 00:11:02.420 And this ship has some pretty odd camouflage... 00:11:02.460 --> 00:11:06.910 ...but seemingly it worked back in the day, so fair enough. 00:11:35.210 --> 00:11:36.860 Well, here we are... 00:11:37.530 --> 00:11:40.860 ...on the Isle of Wight, and em... 00:11:41.430 --> 00:11:42.810 ...and I'm staying there. 00:11:43.970 --> 00:11:47.200 Let's see, that kind of cliffs are all over the place... 00:11:47.990 --> 00:11:51.120 ...so let's see what we can find here. 00:11:52.230 --> 00:11:52.970 Well, look... 00:11:53.740 --> 00:11:56.120 ...ain't that beautiful? 00:11:57.370 --> 00:11:58.650 And, em... 00:11:58.750 --> 00:12:01.840 ...apparently, the main attraction... 00:12:03.190 --> 00:12:04.880 ...should be all the way back there... 00:12:05.190 --> 00:12:06.940 ...some- where. 00:12:07.440 --> 00:12:11.950 Shady walking path here, next to that ledge... 00:12:12.000 --> 00:12:13.750 ...and ofcourse there is, em... 00:12:14.170 --> 00:12:15.630 ...a sign... 00:12:15.670 --> 00:12:16.620 ...'couse, em... 00:12:17.450 --> 00:12:18.910 ...it's not clear enough. 00:12:19.460 --> 00:12:21.980 Me thinking it was completely safe, but... 00:12:25.260 --> 00:12:27.000 Just look at it... 00:12:27.470 --> 00:12:29.120 ...this bit here... 00:12:29.330 --> 00:12:30.470 ...yea... 00:12:30.410 --> 00:12:32.460 ...super-safe, foolproof. 00:12:44.960 --> 00:12:48.010 This airplane is shady. 00:12:48.040 --> 00:12:50.150 Just look at it. 00:12:52.950 --> 00:12:56.470 It's a super-small vessel. 00:13:04.630 --> 00:13:06.390 Well, we're almost at... 00:13:06.910 --> 00:13:07.970 ...the Needles. 00:13:08.470 --> 00:13:09.290 But, em... 00:13:09.920 --> 00:13:11.910 ...I just discovered something quaint here. 00:13:12.690 --> 00:13:13.540 You see... 00:13:15.200 --> 00:13:19.260 Seemingly, there were rocket tests from the fifties... 00:13:21.840 --> 00:13:24.490 ...up to the seventies... 00:13:26.070 --> 00:13:27.460 ...and this was like... 00:13:28.940 --> 00:13:30.970 ...their exhaust shaft. 00:14:13.210 --> 00:14:16.330 Well, one thing before I head back... 00:14:17.710 --> 00:14:19.110 ...to Porthsmouth. 00:14:34.000 --> 00:14:35.340 And that is this here... 00:14:37.050 --> 00:14:40.540 ...the Victoria house. Except... 00:14:42.410 --> 00:14:44.100 ...yea. 00:14:46.750 --> 00:14:47.950 Except I already went in there... 00:14:49.570 --> 00:14:50.560 ...and you are not allowed to see it... 00:14:51.080 --> 00:14:52.230 ...because they don't want you to. 00:15:02.140 --> 00:15:03.290 Well... 00:15:03.900 --> 00:15:05.530 ...it is literally... 00:15:06.190 --> 00:15:08.370 ...less than four hours before I... 00:15:09.220 --> 00:15:12.050 ...have to report back at the train station... 00:15:12.740 --> 00:15:14.590 ...so, I'm going to do one more thing. 00:15:14.620 --> 00:15:16.720 Two things actually. 00:15:16.690 --> 00:15:19.020 And one of which is... 00:15:21.110 --> 00:15:24.100 ...Bodiam castle... 00:15:24.770 --> 00:15:26.880 It's that thing, there. 00:15:27.280 --> 00:15:29.330 Yes. 00:16:57.920 --> 00:16:59.740 We're here... 00:16:59.660 --> 00:17:01.670 ...all the way in the top. 00:17:01.700 --> 00:17:04.310 It's just that something tells me that... 00:17:04.980 --> 00:17:06.690 ...this part here... 00:17:07.020 --> 00:17:11.710 ...is not part of the original design. 00:17:12.950 --> 00:17:15.070 Fair enough. 00:17:16.420 --> 00:17:22.030 And this is the staircase I came from. 00:17:24.100 --> 00:17:27.540 You could say that this is the summer residence... 00:17:27.970 --> 00:17:31.020 ...slash house, slash... 00:17:30.980 --> 00:17:35.110 ...castle of some rich knight... 00:17:36.300 --> 00:17:37.880 ...who decided... 00:17:38.010 --> 00:17:39.840 ..."Well, you know what? 00:17:40.450 --> 00:17:45.170 ...let's protect myself from the French because those bastards... 00:17:45.770 --> 00:17:48.760 ...are wreking everything they see... 00:17:49.280 --> 00:17:51.490 ...and I don't want that to happen to me". 00:17:54.660 --> 00:17:57.490 So yea, build a castle, why not. 00:17:57.520 --> 00:17:59.450 If you got the money. 00:18:05.490 --> 00:18:09.470 So try and imagine that everything covered in grind used to be... 00:18:09.880 --> 00:18:11.800 ...indoors.