♪♪
[rabbit bouncing] Bounce bounce bounce bounce
[roaring jet engine]
♪♪
[rabbit shakes]
[uptempo rock music]
[prop aircraft engine]
(offscreen voice #1) Do a barrel roll!
(offscreen voice #2) Nope!
[plane sounds]
[flapping wings] Flap flap flap
[surprised gay sound]
♪♪
[stupidly] Duuuuuuhhh...
♪♪
[woosh]
[plane noises]
[plane noises slow down]
[bangs]
[music slows and stops]
[car skidding]
[car crash]
Fuck me.
I hope nobody [mumbling]...
So that that feel like Christmas wrap up.
Being a faggot is much better than-
[rhythmic fapping noises]
(offscreen voice) This is actually some anon who's beating his meat.
Oh. [giggles]
[Anon singing "Another Adventure"]
♪ Lost inside ♪
♪ The thought of a journey ♪
♪ I can't hide from the danger around me ♪
♪ But I know that it will be alright ♪
♪ I'm not alone, my friends are by my side ♪
♪♪
♪ When I look around ♪
♪ I see the world falling apart slowly ♪
♪ But with another glance I see ♪
♪ My friends are always ready to be there for me ♪
♪ Sometimes life gets hard ♪
♪ And I know people get hurt ♪
♪ But with my friends at my side ♪
♪ I'm ready to take on the adventure ♪♪
[exasperated] Oh God damn, it's Breeze Rider.
[flapping wings]
Hey Doodlecute, what's up?
Dude, Breeze Rider,
you still haven't cleared the fucking hill yet?
Well, ya know,
I ain't doing it.
Breeze, you- fucking serious, dude,
what if the fucking LA Noir family says something?
♪♪
Those niggers?
Nah. They won't even notice.
[marching and plane sounds]
(Breeze Rider) [making retarded noises]
[plane noises fade out]
[thinking] Well, you finally made me kill you, mother.
[sighs]
[thinking] I told you I would never stop clopping.
[blanket falls]
One day they'll find out.
I know it.
Until then,
[music fades out]
I'll fuck your corpse!
[blows out candle]
[door creaks, bangs shut]
[hoofs clopping]
After all, isn't that some special day?
[hoofs clopping]
[Appuls singing "The Twin Song"]
I'm turning nine tonight.
♪♪
Happy Birthday, Dusk.
♪♪
♪ Time to explore all the secrets ♪
♪ Today I am a kid no more ♪
♪ This destiny calls out to me ♪
♪ After those years, I'll smile and soar ♪
♪♪
♪ I'll follow the path and the hoofsteps ♪
♪ Left behind by my great-grandfather ♪
♪ I'll discover what my grandfather did ♪
♪ To gain such a huge power ♪
♪♪
♪ Today, I start my journey ♪
♪ Never to stop until I find ♪
♪ What has happened to my father ♪
♪ Who I am and my peace of mind ♪
♪♪
[speaking] Illusions? Dark powers?
What a shame.
♪♪
I expected something... different.
♪♪
I can work with that.
♪♪
♪ Of course you do ♪
♪ My little one ♪
♪ Don't be afraid, for you are me ♪
♪ Pleased to meet ya, and this will be so fun ♪
♪ And we are just two friends to be ♪
♪♪
♪ Well I am the price for those powers ♪
♪ Invincible? That is a fact ♪
♪ I'll borrow that body of ours ♪
♪ Don't go thinking you can fight back ♪
(as Dusk) ♪ I won't let you, you mean monster ♪
♪ I doubt that friend, just look at me ♪
♪ You are the student and I am the master ♪
♪ So sit down, freeze, and let me be! ♪
♪♪
♪ Who do you think I am, you weakling? ♪
♪ You are just a toy in my hoof ♪
♪ Oh of all the magic I am the king ♪
♪ And your demise will be the proof! ♪
[manical laughter]
[speaking] I must admit,
I'm having quite a good time!
♪ Today's "foreclast": Black clouds ♪
♪ Witness the return of the curse ♪
♪ Celestia's blind and won't notice ♪
♪ The threat that will make all things...worse! ♪
♪ Turn off the lights ♪
♪ Run away! ♪
♪ Hide yourself far! ♪
♪ Gallop and flee! ♪
♪ I will catch you, you are my prey ♪
♪ Powerless to stop uh what you see ♪
♪♪
♪ Hear my words and be afraid ♪
♪ There will soon be no place to hide ♪
♪ From the shadows and the terror ♪
♪ They will all fall with darkness on... ♪
♪ ...my side! ♪
♪ My side! ♪
♪ I've got all the darkness on my side! ♪♪
[screams wordlessly]
[laughing maniacally]
Next nigger, please.
[hoofs clopping]
Ah, Mister Brave. How are you doing?
I have a bad case of diarrhea.
[sticks out tongue]
Glad to see your putting all those Mexicans to good use.
Brains and balls.
And insurance. Heh heh.
Come the fuck on, you know I'm not like that.
Oh my God bitch, I know.
Otherwise, I'd be the first to let you know.
Anyway, you seem a lot less shittier than usual today.
[loud noise]
What was that?
[wind noises]
It's...a penis.
[wind noises]
And it seems to be a big one.
Niggers are flying everywhere.
What's going on?
(Breeze Rider) ♪ The wind is pushing me ♪♪
At this rate,
[screaming]
the air is going to damage all of Horse Town.
Any idea how to remove?
Well, I'm not sure telling any jokes will do the trick.
[laugh track]
I have a feeling this wind is magical.
(Mister Brave) Hmm, Iris,
if the wind is magical, could you detect its source?
I...think it's coming from the forest.
[wind noises]
Alright then.
Stay safe and I'll go and see what's happening.
Bon voyage, faggots.
♪♪
[loud galloping and wind noises]
♪♪
(Mister Brave) [thinking] ♪ Gotta go fast! ♪
[thinking] ♪ Gotta go faster, faster faster, faster, faster! ♪
[thinking] ♪ Woooo! ♪♪
Oi, you there! Stop!
[brakes squealing]
Doodle dick.
Sir Brave, am I ever glad to see you.
My friend Star Whistle's in here.
Something's terribly wrong.
She doesn't seem well.
She's surrounded by some kind of magical field.
I request your assistance.
Don't worry, my fedora will give me strength.
[woosh]
Star, hang on, we're coming!
[whispering] Help, I'm trapped in a shitty fan episode.
[dramatic music and wind noises]
[woosh]
[Doodlecute screams]
You better fucking stop that autism right now
or I am going to come here and grab that ass.
[dramatic music and wind noises]
[woosh]
Rape time, baby.
[dramatic music and wind noises]
[woosh]
[dramatic music and wind noises]
[horse noises]
[calming music]
(offscreen voice) Ahh! Ah! [gasps]
(offscreen voice) Get some leaves!
[offscreen laughter]
(offscreen voice) You do what you can.
Oh my head, who raped me?
(offscreen voice) ♪ Tell me quickly, ♪
♪ what's the story? ♪
♪ Who saw what and why and where? ♪
♪ Let him give a full description ♪
♪ Let him answer to Javert ♪♪
[kazoo playing charge fanfare]
Please clop.
Is anypony
wanting to hear a joke?
Everything is fine.
(Doodlecute) She stole it officer, I saw her.
♪ She will answer for her actions ♪♪
I was asked to study that ring.
When I touched it, my magic got out of control.
Then, I just don't know what happened.
(Mister Brave) It's okay,Star Whistler.
Everything's fine now.
♪ If you make a full report, you may rest assured, Monsieur ♪
♪ That she will answer to the court ♪♪
(Breeze Rider) Yai, isn't that the crest of the DeNoir?
I know where they live!
Maybe we should pay them a visit.
Maybe they know what's going on!
Sounds like a good idea.
I'll send the ring to the castle
with a warning so nopony else gets hurt.
Vamonos juntos.
Yo tengo un mal sentimento para esta cosa.
(Star Whistle) The princess gave me the cock ring this morning.
It was magical so it turned me into a mare.
[hoofs clopping] [insect noises]
I wish I was dead.
[hoofs clopping] [insect noises]
(Breeze Rider) Girls, we're queer!
(Doodlecute) Sheeeit, what in the name of my pregnant cousin
am I looking at?
Some unnatural ooga booga magic?
[slide whistle]
[speaking Silesian]
[sighs]
[speaking Moonspeak]
[hoofs clopping] [insect noises]
[thunder]
(Bird) Does my bird cloaca turn you on, senpai?
Well, it's as ugly as it seemed.
[crows cawing]
We should tend to the sick animals.
Alright.
Mister Brave,
could you come with us please?
I'm not sure what we're gonna find.
We should start the investigation
before things go too far.
I'll go with you.
Since none of you fucks are master race,
looks like I'll have to go, too.
♪♪
[loud bang]
FBI, drop the child porn!
Eyah, real smart, you dumb fuck.
I bet he's all willing to see us now.
Stop it guys, pwease.
We got other shit to do, uhhh.
(Breeze Rider) Nah man, I'm way too retarded for this shit!
♪♪
[sighs]
[clopping hoofs approaching]
Yo, who dere nigga?
♪♪
It's us, bitch.
♪♪
[insect noises]
Were you scared?
♪♪
[groans] I shit my pants.
[insect noises]
Well don't look at me like that, you huge bitch.
Not my fault you're a pussy.
Oh my God, is anyone here not a massive retard?
[laughs] I hope so, someone's gotta stop this shit.
[insect noises]
[thunder]
♪♪
So the memes are behind this door?
Well...
What? [she smacks him]
You're just going to break the door and
shout!
Let me try.
(offscreen voice) The main thunder.
(offscreen voice) The striking thunder.
(offscreen voice) The big thunder.
(offscreen voice) Thunder up, baby.
♪♪
♪ Hello? ♪♪
[dramatic impact music]
Oh shit man, sorry, wrong room.
♪ Thunder ♪
♪ Thunder ♪♪
[loud knocking] FBI, open up!
♪♪
[sputtering] Huh?
[sputtering] I'm way too evil for that.
Huh? Huh?
♪♪
[spits]
[coughs]
Freeze? I'm way too evil for that.
He sounds dangerous, man.
Must be the giant penis.
Any idea how to fuck it?
Dude, like, wha? Where am I?
♪♪
[dramatic music builds]
[Dusk groans, mouth noises]
If you want my scepter, baby, come catch it.
♪♪
[guard pony screams]
[very loud noise]
Donut!
[moaning]
[buzzer]
Awwwwwwww.
♪♪
Let go!
It's no use!
I will...stay...in control... of my powers!
This is the dawn of autists!
♪♪
[yells]
Oh hey, it works. Cool! See ya!
♪♪
[thinking] Oh I don't feel so well.
[thinking] Shit! Was I roofied again?
[thinking] My ass is gonna hurt so much!
[Pac Man death sound effect]
(Donut) Bruh!
[hoofs clopping]
I drank horse cum.
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
He fell when Breeze took his cock away.
Do you think it's like [garbled] too?
Ohh my head!
The fuck happened?
Well, it all happened a few hours ago.
And that's why you're a faggot.
Huh. I see.
Well, I still feel a little tired.
You should go back to your occupations.
I'll be fine.
Really!
Hmm. I should help repair the damage I've done.
And the Princess will have to be informed.
Perfect. I-I mean good luck. Woooouh?
You should rest.
You don't look so well.
Will do.
Now fuck off.
See you later.
[dramatic music]
Oh, I'm pretty sure there will be a crappy sequel.
♪♪
[groans] I can't believe this.
I've only been here for two days,
and I'm already bored beyond belief.
Some promotion! Keeper of the artifacts!
This isn't real guard work.
I should be out there, helping everypony!
Like with Iridescence and the others!
Now that was team work!
[hoofs clopping]
[buzzing]
Hmm?
[hoofs clopping]
Must've been a cat or something.
[hoofs clopping]
Oi, those fucking furries.
I miss those ponies.
Real stand-up types.
Who would've believed Brave and the others would have been able
to catch Breeze and the scepter unless I'd seen it with my own eyes.
And even then, Star heads back into Ponyville
to start repairing all the houses.
The rest head back to their various works.
I bring my report and the scepter back to the Princess,
and what do I get?
[hoofs clopping]
Blue-balled for the rest of my life.
Princess Celestia.
[music plays]
Bah!
[wind noises]
How long is this episode anyway?
[hoofs clopping]
Has she even seen the size of my dick?
I expect not if she's passing me up like this yet again.
I cannot believe this scandal.
She said next time, well this is next time.
And she said next time again.
Unbelievable.
[hoofs clopping]
Huh?
[magic noises]
[door creaks open]
Eh, what the hell?
I'mma no expert in magic, but I should probably report this to Princess Molestia.
[magic noises]
I hope she'll give me a real blowjob this time.
[hoofs clopping]
Thank you for coming with me, Mister Bitch!
I'm not that comfortable in a big town.
[hoofs clopping]
Yeah well you have a cunt.
Fuck off right all [garbled].
Why the fuck the Princess wanna see you then, dick head?
Shot!
If I knew the Princess would call me because of a small wintry hill
I would...wait, maybe it's something even worse! [gasps]
What did I do?!
[plane sounds]
Please turn me into anything
but an alicorn.
[hoofs clopping]
In any case, I've lost interest.
[hoofs clopping]
[record scratch]
[exclamations of disbelief]
(Star Whistle) Okay, now this is epic.
[door creaks open]
[Star Whistle reading]
Since when is that a good-
[bangs] Shit, ow! The f- Ow! Shoot!
[banging on wall]
["After Midnight" by SHADOW6NOTHING6]
♪♪
♪ Look at my dab! ♪
♪ Dab ♪♪ [echoes and fades out]