NMM: Sand!
Narrator: Meanwhile, in the last episode...
TS: Once upon a time the land of Equestria was ruled over by two princesses.
One ruled the day, and one ruled the night. All the ponies loved the white princess of the day
but they were scared of the evil black princess and her foreign ways,
so the good white princess banished the evil princess to the moon to work the lunar cotton fields for a thousand years,
but the evil black princess used her wicked black magic to escape
and we have to stop her!
And those are all the plot holes we missed from the first episode.
R: How did we get in this forest?
AJ: Where the bloody hell did Spike go?
RD: I don't even know any of your names!
TS: Damn it!
TS: Fine! We're in the forest to find Nightmare Moon. And Spike... Spike's asleep.
AJ: So what your telling me is that there's a giant evil princess trying to take over the world... and Spike's asleep.
TS: Um, yes
PP: Whoever wrote this episode must have had brain damage or something, hey bro.
TS: It doesn't matter, just everyone follow me.
RD: And like, why are you the leader?
TS: Cause unlike the rest of you bozos, I actually know what's going on.
So unless you know any other purple eyed students with fabulous hair and have no prior experience but are somehow completely capable
of taking on a larger and quite clearly stronger force of evil, with only the help of a few friends
who also have no experience at supernatural or military battle,
then I suggest you all shut up, and do exactly as I say.
R: Was that a Star Wars reference?
TS: Damn it! FS: Oh my goodness!
TS: Help! I'm too amazing to die!
AJ: I got you, Rarity! And... wait a minute, you're not Rarity!
You're that new pony everyone hates!
TS: But everyone loves me!
AJ: Sorry, but the truth is I hate you. Off you go!
TS: AAAAHHHHHH!
FS: I saved your life!
RD: And, like, I did to an... wait a minute. You're not Fluttershy.
FS: I'm Fluttershy!
TS: I'm Twilight Sparkle! Duh.
PP: I'm Pinkie Pie!
R: Name's Rarity. AJ: And I'm Applejack.
wacarb: And now you know their names. Yay!
(incredibly well performed roar)
TS: Kill the endangered species!
FS: Tyler Perry!
TS: Don't you ever, EVER, say that again!
FS: Well at least I have a new friend.
TS: I could have friends if I want to, I just don't want to.
(an equally good but different roar)
R: Ease up! I got this!
Croc Hunter!
(award winning wail)
TS: Careful Rarity, I think you cut yourself.
R: Aw, she's right mate! I'm always cutting myself.
You know, um... when I'm sewing.
Sewing dresses, someti... sometimes I accidently hurt myself.
What are you all looking at?
PP: Are we there yet?
TS: No, we're not there.
RD: Look guys, we're here!
TS: It's just a coincidence. We're not really here.
R: I'm pretty sure we're here mate.
FS: How do these magical doohickeys work?
TS: They rely on friendship, but they only work with magic.
AJ: Well that's a terrible lesson for the children.
Are we supposed to them "no matter how big your problem is, you can only solve it with magic"?
TS: That is exactly right. Like this!
RD: Is she gone? Haha!
NMM: Ah, Twilight. Welcome to my humble abode!
TS: Oh, not you again!
NMM: Sssss... TS: Don't you even think about saying it!
NMM: Sss... TS: I swear, if you say it one more time I will kill you!
NMM: Sand!
TS: Oh, it is on!
NMM: I will murder everyone you love!
TS: I hope you get crabs!
NMM: Well that's kind of a mean thing to say.
TS: And the crabs give you cancer!
NMM: What?
TS: Crabancer!
NMM: I... I don't know what to say to that.
TS: For the superior species! NMM: Have at you!
PP: Sorry we're late, hey!
TS: Vaguely established magical friend powers activate!
NMM: What the heck is that!
TS: It's a plot hole! Deal with it!
NMM: Saaaaaaaaaaaand!
TS: I really hope she's dead!
Princess Luna: Saaannd.
TS: Damn it!
Princess Celestia: So there I was, having a nice tea party, all by myself I might add,
when it turns out my sister has escaped from the moon.
PP: We should have a party, hey!
PC: No, no we should not do that.
And you, my sister, are in a lot of trouble!
PL: Balls!
PC: Oh, don't tell me you're still going on with that catch phrase.
PL: Stab you in the neck and... oh I missed.
TS: Does this mean I can go home and get away from these stupid ponies?
PC: You know what, Twilight? You ditched me at my tea party.
You can't come home. You're stuck here forever. Have fun with your new friends!
TS: You guys know I was kidding about that "stupid pony" thing right?
FS: I don't really like you very much
FS: It's Mewtwo!