WEBVTT Kind: captions Language: en 00:00:01.900 --> 00:00:04.900 PP: Hehe. Oh, you guys! Ho ho ho. Babies: (baby noises) 00:00:04.900 --> 00:00:06.500 PP: You guys! Oh, you guys are the best! Babies: (baby noises) 00:00:06.500 --> 00:00:08.540 PP: Oh ho ho! Yeah, you guys! Babies: (baby noises) 00:00:08.540 --> 00:00:12.130 MC: Ah, Pinkie, I'm afraid to ask this, but why do you have two babies in our house? 00:00:12.130 --> 00:00:13.600 PP: A stork left them on the doorstop! 00:00:13.600 --> 00:00:14.400 MC: No... 00:00:14.400 --> 00:00:16.699 PP: They grew from seeds I planted in the ground! 00:00:16.699 --> 00:00:18.500 MC: Nope. PP: It was a Christmas miracle! 00:00:18.500 --> 00:00:20.800 MC: Pinkie! PP: I might have stolen them from their mum. 00:00:20.900 --> 00:00:21.700 MC: PINKIE! 00:00:21.700 --> 00:00:26.100 PP: Oh, wait, now wait, Mrs Cake, I said I might have. I didn't say it was actually true. 00:00:26.200 --> 00:00:27.300 MC: But it is true... 00:00:27.300 --> 00:00:28.400 PP: Theoretically, yes. 00:00:28.500 --> 00:00:30.000 MC: Pinkie, return those babies at once! 00:00:30.100 --> 00:00:33.700 PP: No, you can't take them! They're my hobbitses! My Preciouses! 00:00:39.600 --> 00:00:42.200 MC: Damn it, Pinkie, now we have to waste time finding their real mother! 00:00:42.300 --> 00:00:45.600 PP: No you can't them them from me! I fought their mother so hard for them! 00:00:45.600 --> 00:00:47.180 MC: Fluttershy, do you want these babies? 00:00:47.180 --> 00:00:48.000 FS: Gary Coleman! 00:00:48.000 --> 00:00:49.700 MC: Damn it, girl, they're babies, not midgets. 00:00:49.800 --> 00:00:54.100 FS: Well I'd love to look after these babies! I'll just need to give them a rabies shot. 00:00:54.100 --> 00:00:55.400 MC: To protect them from rabies? 00:00:55.400 --> 00:00:56.500 FS: Protect them? 00:00:56.600 --> 00:00:59.199 MC: On second thoughts, maybe Fluttershy is not the best choice. 00:00:59.199 --> 00:01:02.900 FS: Oh please don't leave me alone with the animals, they're all mad and frothy for some reason. 00:01:03.000 --> 00:01:04.200 MC: Maybe Twilight can help. 00:01:04.300 --> 00:01:08.700 TS: Well I'd love to look after these babies, but conversely I also don't want to. 00:01:08.700 --> 00:01:10.200 MC: Maybe Applejack. She's very generous. 00:01:10.300 --> 00:01:14.000 AJ: You want me to waste time looking after babies? Does this look like a charity to you? 00:01:14.100 --> 00:01:16.069 MC: But aren't you the head of the children's charity? 00:01:16.069 --> 00:01:18.000 AJ: Yeah but that's just a front. I mean that's just a... 00:01:18.100 --> 00:01:19.740 Go away! Something about apples! 00:01:19.740 --> 00:01:22.200 MC: Damn it, why does every pony live on the opposite end of town! 00:01:22.300 --> 00:01:24.600 RD: Yeah, I can look after those babies. Just throw them up here. 00:01:24.700 --> 00:01:26.500 MC: What! I'm not going to throw the babies! 00:01:26.500 --> 00:01:27.100 RD: Why not? 00:01:27.200 --> 00:01:29.000 MC: You're not supposed to throw babies. 00:01:29.000 --> 00:01:32.200 RD: What, seriously? My second foster parents used to throw me all the time! 00:01:32.300 --> 00:01:34.500 MC: That explains so much that I didn't care about. 00:01:34.500 --> 00:01:38.200 RD: Well, if you can't throw them up here, then I can't look after them, cause I've kind of been grounded. 00:01:38.200 --> 00:01:39.300 MC: Oh, that's very ironic. 00:01:39.400 --> 00:01:41.800 RD: Uh, what? MC: That you've been grounded onto a cloud. 00:01:41.900 --> 00:01:44.300 RD: Yeah, sorry, I don't really get it. I have to go. 00:01:44.400 --> 00:01:47.200 MC: Rainbow Dash was a liar. Rarity is obviously the best choice. 00:01:49.800 --> 00:01:52.820 R: That is not my music, I am renting the basement out to someone else. 00:01:54.000 --> 00:01:55.960 DON'T YOU JUDGE ME! 00:01:55.960 --> 00:01:58.200 MC: Well, damn it. Now we have no one to look after these babies. 00:01:58.300 --> 00:02:03.200 PP: Aw, come on bro! Just let me look after the babies! I would make an awesome... uh... 00:02:03.300 --> 00:02:05.680 MC: Parent? PP: Whatever you want to call it, that's fine by me. 00:02:05.680 --> 00:02:08.500 MC: Damn it, Pinkie. You don't know the first thing about looking after babies! 00:02:08.600 --> 00:02:10.600 PP: Well, why don't we let Mr. Cake decide? 00:02:10.700 --> 00:02:12.200 Mr. Cake: Oh, well ah, actually... 00:02:12.200 --> 00:02:13.600 MC: MR. CAKE DOESN'T SPEAK! 00:02:13.600 --> 00:02:15.500 PP: Aw, come on, Mrs Cake. What have you got to lose? 00:02:15.600 --> 00:02:16.900 MC: The lives of two babies. 00:02:16.900 --> 00:02:17.800 PP: I mean apart from that. 00:02:17.800 --> 00:02:20.900 MC: And if they're found dead in my house, I'll have to take the blame for it. 00:02:20.900 --> 00:02:21.959 PP: Apart from that as well. 00:02:21.959 --> 00:02:25.920 MC: OK, Pinkie, listen up. I am going to find their mother and give her an apology cake. 00:02:25.920 --> 00:02:29.359 You are going to stay here and look after them until we get back. 00:02:29.359 --> 00:02:30.400 PP: Yeah, OK, I can do that. 00:02:30.400 --> 00:02:32.600 MC: Now, Pinkie promise me... Pinkie are you listening? 00:02:32.600 --> 00:02:33.200 PP: Yeah, yeah. 00:02:33.200 --> 00:02:34.300 MC: Promise me... PP: Yes! 00:02:34.300 --> 00:02:35.140 MC: that you... PP: Yep! 00:02:35.140 --> 00:02:36.300 MC: will not... PP: Yes! 00:02:36.300 --> 00:02:37.400 MC: kill these babies. 00:02:37.400 --> 00:02:40.100 PP: I promise I will try my hardest not to kill these babies. 00:02:40.100 --> 00:02:41.630 MC: Close enough. Come on, dear, let's go. 00:02:41.630 --> 00:02:44.200 PP: Honestly, I don't see what the big deal is. How hard could it be? 00:02:45.200 --> 00:02:48.319 (magical fairy tears) 00:02:48.319 --> 00:02:51.370 PP: Well, that is quite the dilemma. Luckily, I know how to cheer them up! 00:02:51.370 --> 00:02:54.860 I'll tell them a joke! Hey, what do you call an imaginary homosexual? 00:02:55.800 --> 00:02:57.900 A fag-ment of your imagination! 00:03:02.600 --> 00:03:06.760 (more bloody tears) 00:03:06.760 --> 00:03:09.200 PP: Oh crap, that didn't work at all. I might need help for this. 00:03:10.200 --> 00:03:12.900 Well I wonder who that could be at the door? 00:03:13.100 --> 00:03:16.600 Oh well if it isn't my good friend, Twilight Sparkle! 00:03:21.600 --> 00:03:25.570 TS: Hi, Pinkie! I was just wondering if you needed my help with these babies. 00:03:29.000 --> 00:03:30.800 PP: Nah, it's OK. I'll do it on my own. 00:03:32.000 --> 00:03:35.920 Oh, that's it! I'm getting sick of this. Time to deal with these babies the only way I know how! 00:03:35.920 --> 00:03:37.800 By taking their food away! 00:03:39.800 --> 00:03:43.180 MC: Aw, damn it, that was a wasted day. I can't believe we couldn't find their parents. 00:03:43.180 --> 00:03:44.500 I hope Pinkie did OK. 00:03:44.500 --> 00:03:47.400 PP: OK, so, I have some good news and some bad news. 00:03:47.400 --> 00:03:49.500 MC: Well, that doesn't bode well. What happened? 00:03:49.500 --> 00:03:51.700 PP: Well, the good news is that I'm still alive! 00:03:51.700 --> 00:03:53.100 MC: You killed the babies, didn't you, Pinkie. 00:03:53.100 --> 00:03:57.980 PP: No, no, no. Now, wait a moment. I didn't kill them. I simply let them die. 00:03:57.980 --> 00:03:59.400 Just like Batman would have done. 00:03:59.400 --> 00:04:02.600 MC: Pinkie, how many times must I tell you, Batman is a bad example? 00:04:02.600 --> 00:04:04.400 PP: For as many times as it takes me to listen! 00:04:04.500 --> 00:04:07.140 MC: Great. Now I've got two dead babies in my house. 00:04:07.140 --> 00:04:09.600 PP: Yeah, they starved to death! And in only half an hour too! 00:04:09.600 --> 00:04:11.739 MC: Well, this series took quite a dark turn. 00:04:11.739 --> 00:04:14.500 PP: Yeah, even I feel kinda bad making jokes about dead babies. 00:04:14.500 --> 00:04:16.800 I think we need to end on a more light-hearted note. 00:04:16.800 --> 00:04:17.800 RD: Both my parents are dead! 00:04:40.200 --> 00:04:44.300 PP: Hang on I got more! How many nymphomaniacs doesn't take to screw a light-bulb? 00:04:45.300 --> 00:04:47.400 So a baby seal walks into a club... 00:04:48.500 --> 00:04:53.000 If you're car-pooling someone, and you drive through a tunnel, does that mean you give them carpal tunnel? 00:04:55.500 --> 00:04:57.000 What happens when you set fire to rain? 00:04:58.600 --> 00:05:00.600 You get smoke on the water! 00:05:02.600 --> 00:05:03.420 OK, I'm done now.