WEBVTT Kind: captions Language: en 00:00:01.600 --> 00:00:02.800 RD: Fluttershy, I'm flying sideways! 00:00:02.800 --> 00:00:03.900 FS: Oh no! Me too! 00:00:03.900 --> 00:00:04.900 RD: Oh no! 00:00:04.900 --> 00:00:17.200 RD: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! FS: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! 00:00:23.200 --> 00:00:30.900 TS: In today's episode, everyone in Ponyville is lining up so that they can drink cider. That is what is happening. 00:00:30.900 --> 00:00:42.010 That is a thing that we're all doing. Someone thought it was a good idea for this episode if everyone just lined up so that we could all drink cider. 00:00:42.010 --> 00:00:45.600 S: Oh, it could be worse, at least we're not watching paint dry. 00:00:45.600 --> 00:00:49.650 TS: Wow, Spike! I know the writers are stupid but they're not that stupid. 00:00:49.650 --> 00:00:52.900 S: I bet you 50 bucks next season we're watching paint dry. 00:00:52.900 --> 00:00:53.900 TS: You're on! 00:00:53.900 --> 00:00:56.000 S: Why are we lining up for cider anyway? 00:00:56.000 --> 00:01:00.080 TS: I don't know, maybe because RAINBOW DASH PEED IN THE WATER SUPPLY! 00:01:00.080 --> 00:01:01.800 RD: Hey, you can't prove that was me! 00:01:01.800 --> 00:01:03.700 TS: You admitted doing it five minutes ago! 00:01:03.700 --> 00:01:05.800 RD: Yeah, well maybe I can't prove that was me. 00:01:05.800 --> 00:01:08.000 TS: We saw you do it six minutes ago. 00:01:08.000 --> 00:01:09.000 RD: Fluttershy told me to do it! 00:01:09.000 --> 00:01:14.000 FS: Well, that isn't true, but I'm happy to take the blame for my best friend. 00:01:14.000 --> 00:01:15.670 RD: Shut up, Fluttershy! No one's interested! 00:01:15.670 --> 00:01:19.700 AJ: Alright everyone, if you're done being stupid I've got some good news and some bad news. 00:01:19.700 --> 00:01:24.450 The bad news is I've had to quadruple the price of the cider. The good news is I'm about to be very rich! 00:01:24.450 --> 00:01:26.800 Random Pony: You business practices are reprehensible! 00:01:26.800 --> 00:01:32.300 One day, we ponies will have had enough of your tyranny and unite against your reviled machinations! 00:01:32.300 --> 00:01:37.750 AJ: Oh, well, uh, thank you Random Pony that I've never seen before. So who's first up for cider? 00:01:37.750 --> 00:01:41.800 PP: Oh! Me me me! Time to make LittleKuriboh proud! Shut up and take my money! 00:01:41.800 --> 00:01:47.800 (crowd laughing at hilarious original joke) 00:01:47.800 --> 00:01:52.280 RP: Your low standards of humour are why no one tries to make legitimate comedy anymore! 00:01:52.280 --> 00:01:56.329 One day, we ponies will rise up in demand of higher quality! 00:01:56.329 --> 00:01:59.630 AJ: Sorry everyone, Pinkie Pie bought all the cider. You'll have to come back tomorrow. 00:01:59.630 --> 00:02:01.900 Not entirely sure where she got the money for all that. 00:02:01.900 --> 00:02:06.500 P: I'm a professional gamer! It is the best career choice and I recommend everyone do it. 00:02:06.500 --> 00:02:09.700 RD: It's not fair! How come there isn't enough cider for anyone else? 00:02:09.700 --> 00:02:11.310 AJ: Well don't blame me! 00:02:11.310 --> 00:02:11.900 RD: Why not? 00:02:11.900 --> 00:02:13.500 AJ: I would prefer it if you didn't? 00:02:13.500 --> 00:02:15.200 RP: The reasons behind your actions are... 00:02:15.200 --> 00:02:19.300 AJ: Would you shut up! Are we just introducing random characters whenever we feel like now? 00:02:19.300 --> 00:02:21.800 Flam: Well good morning to you, Ponyville! 00:02:21.800 --> 00:02:23.800 Flim: A hallowed hello, hallelujah! 00:02:23.800 --> 00:02:26.000 AJ: Wow, this must be how Twilight feels all the time. 00:02:26.000 --> 00:02:30.900 Flam: Citizens of Ponyville, do not be alarmed. I come bringing the word of the lord! 00:02:30.900 --> 00:02:37.300 TS: Hmm, someone's trying to bring religion to Ponyville. Watch out, Spike, this may turn violent and/or the apocalypse. 00:02:37.300 --> 00:02:42.900 Flam: I have some to teach you of the one true alicorn. He who saved Manehatten from killer robots. 00:02:42.900 --> 00:02:45.800 He who first fought and defeated Discord. 00:02:45.800 --> 00:02:51.000 He who is totally best friends with Celestia and she has a secret crush on him. 00:02:51.000 --> 00:02:57.200 It is King Lord High Commander Darkflame Steelwings the Magnificant! 00:02:57.200 --> 00:03:00.000 He has an extra pair of wings and also created magic. 00:03:00.000 --> 00:03:01.170 Flim: The original creator! 00:03:01.170 --> 00:03:04.100 TS: That's bullcrap! Celestia is the only true alicorn! 00:03:04.100 --> 00:03:05.800 S: What about Princess Luna? 00:03:05.800 --> 00:03:06.900 TS: Princess who of the what now? 00:03:06.900 --> 00:03:13.300 Flam: Citizens of Ponyville, you need to ask yourselves are you sick and tired of the Apple family running out of cider all the time? 00:03:13.300 --> 00:03:14.200 Flim: All the time! 00:03:14.200 --> 00:03:18.000 Flam: Are you unsatisfied with the unfulfilled promises of this faithless heathen? 00:03:18.000 --> 00:03:21.520 AJ: Faithless heaten? Screw you, I'll have you know I'm catholic! 00:03:21.520 --> 00:03:23.100 TS: Wait a minute, you're catholic? 00:03:23.100 --> 00:03:25.200 AJ: Yeah. TS: But you don't believe in God. 00:03:25.200 --> 00:03:27.600 AJ: Of course I don't! I'm catholic! 00:03:27.600 --> 00:03:32.610 Flam: Mares and stallions, don't you think now is the perfect time for change? 00:03:32.610 --> 00:03:37.200 RP: Just because you are well spoken and charismatic doesn't mean we will blindly follow you! 00:03:37.200 --> 00:03:41.500 We ponies are better than mindless sheep and will not stand for this subjugation! 00:03:42.500 --> 00:03:45.100 Flam: Uhhh... AJ: Oh, just ignore him, he's a douche bag. 00:03:45.100 --> 00:03:48.800 RP: You may well try to hurt my spirit, but we ponies will not... 00:03:48.800 --> 00:03:51.800 AJ: You know, you may think your some sort of champion of the population, 00:03:51.800 --> 00:03:55.700 but you actually just sound a lot more like an ass who hates anyone who doesn't share your opinions. 00:03:55.700 --> 00:03:56.900 PP: Yeah, you sound just like... 00:03:58.100 --> 00:04:04.400 Flam: Regardless of all that, if you come to the service of King Lord High Commander Darkflame Steelwings the Magnificant, 00:04:04.400 --> 00:04:07.200 You will have all the cider you'll ever require. 00:04:07.200 --> 00:04:10.800 I just remembered he has the power to make cider, he can totally do that. 00:04:10.800 --> 00:04:12.580 AJ: You're making this up as you go along! 00:04:12.580 --> 00:04:15.000 Flam: That is absolutely not true! 00:04:15.000 --> 00:04:20.200 King Lord High Commander Darkwing Flamesteel the Magnificant is always correct. 00:04:20.200 --> 00:04:21.500 AJ: You got his name wrong that time. 00:04:22.400 --> 00:04:28.000 Flam: You may well point out things that are the truth, but that does not mean that my truth is also not equally the truth! 00:04:28.000 --> 00:04:28.900 AJ: Uh, what now? 00:04:28.900 --> 00:04:31.000 Flam: How about we settle this in a competition? 00:04:31.000 --> 00:04:36.050 Whoever makes the most cider will be the sole cider provider for this town. 00:04:36.050 --> 00:04:39.930 AJ: No, that's a stupid idea, and anyone who thinks it's a smart idea is stupid. 00:04:39.930 --> 00:04:42.700 We're not doing that, you piss off back to where you came from. 00:04:42.700 --> 00:04:44.700 Flam: Very well, peace be with you. 00:04:44.700 --> 00:04:46.000 AJ: Peace be with you. 00:04:47.500 --> 00:04:49.500 AJ: Oh, thank goodness, they're finally gone. 00:04:49.500 --> 00:04:54.200 Wait a minute, the stupid bastards left their sacrificial cider here! Everyone let's get drunk! 00:04:54.200 --> 00:04:55.699 PP: Yeah! Shut up and take my money! 00:04:55.699 --> 00:04:59.900 (crowd laughing at the best joke again) 00:05:14.000 --> 00:05:17.400 BB: My cider's got pee in it! RD: Sorry! My bad.