What did you say?
OH HI, SINUSES!
FUCK OFF, SINUSES!
Bleaaaugh!
You're being too subtle, my dear.
It's-
(laughs)
(raspy) My deaaaaar!
(chokes)
(laughs)
No, I was talking to Fluttershy!
She challenged me to a quiet game.
(laughing) I can hear all my mouth noises!
(both Mag and Lost laugh)
Fluttershy said,
while flying with Fluttershy to the outskorts of Pony-
Outskirts.
Ugh, I forgot to mention it to you.
It's the annual Storytime Theater event here in Ponyville.
Ponies can go on stage and read out stories for the cralds of- j- g-
for the crullars of foals!
Yes, the fucking...
crullars...!
of foals.
Because afterwards, when you've read to them,
you just pick them up and bite their fuckin' heads off!
'Cuz that's what children are for.
(true)
Fluttershy slowly turned, tears streaming down her face.
Still holding the knife...
covered in her mother's bru-
Brud.
Her mudder's brud.
Mreah!
My dearest daughter...
(pained grunt)
You came just at the right time.
You see...
I finally figured out...
I figured it out...
I...
screwed up the line.
I'm too delirious.
(Gina dies)
(laughing) Who is playing the nurse, by the way?
(laughs softly)
(stereotypical nurse Impression) Oh, doctor!
(seductive doctor voice) Oh, nurse~
(laughs)
Oh God!
(tired groan) Twilight...
(sigh)
What's the big deal?
That... spell-
(car passes)
That car decided to go by-
(laughs)
Fu-ha-ha!
(frustrated groan)
(stereotypical gay man voice) Okay, so the scene opens up,
(stereotypical gay man voice) Fluttershy walks in the gymnasium,
(stereotypical gay man voice) and I am eating her girlfriends!
I'm sure you'll find a colt who loves you...
EVEN MORE than I do!
(laughs evilly)
(coughs)
(stereotypical gay man voice) Oh, she tastes delicioooous!
(stereotypical gay man voice) Like sky Skittles!
Get it? 'Cuz she's z-
she's blue, and...
Okay.
We're done.
I'm...
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry you ever fell in love with somepony like me, Fluttershy.
Because I really have a thing for Pinkie.
Hey, did you SEE how hot her flank is?!
I mean, seriously!
OH my gosh!
(singing) I am the queen of the suuuuunriiiiiise...
(singing) but they made me a fuckin' princeeeeess!
Strewn abrou-
Strewn abrout.
A sprout.
A drought.
A trout.
...my suave.
I got so much da-
I got so much swaaaag!
Swag for days!
All these bitches want me.
Whatever.
(cries of the damned)
That's not a yell. That's like-
(laughs)
(laughing) That sounded like the Shadowbolt was going through puberty!
Alright, whatever!
I sneak up on the stallion in my s-
and I s-
(alien tongue language)
do whatever the-
fuck, shit!
(laughs)
I'm not sure.
I guess... anything that seems odd or out of place.
Something you wouldn't expect,
or just a clue as to what ex-
(whispers) -xactly is going on.
(sigh)
(whispering) I'm just gonna do all of my lines as whispers...
(ASMR) right up in your ear.
The air grew thick once more.
Once more.
Once moor!
One s'more-
How many fucking times are you gonna use this damn thing in this damn s-
I'm so tempted to do a Google search...
and see how many motherfucking times,
"once more" is used,
in this FUCKING STORY!
Fucking-
all that ad-libbing garbage.
(mock laughter) Curse Word!
(more mock laughter) You're so cute!
(even more mock laughter) I wanna be with you forever!
(still with the mock laughter) Ad-lib!
(Lost dying of laughter)
(Mag burps)
Yeah...
I just love you... soooo much!
You don't even know. (laughs)
(Lost laughs)
Strewn about this little town were red balloons, and hearts of all shapes and sizes.
(laughing) With horseshoes...
POTS OF GOLD AND RAINBOWS!
And the red balloon. (best lucky charm ad ever)
(laughs)
Goddammit!
(snooty) Above the mural, in large letters, looked like a quote she had once said.
She had said once.
I can narrate.
Strewn about this little town or-
(1950-something plane start-up failure) (A.K.A Guti laughing)
God!
(laughing hysterically) I CAN'T THINK OF THE FUCKIN' CEREAL!!
(I don't remember the original author of these captions, so he or she will not be credited)
(but if they find this, know that I've touched up your work a bit and that I wish you could take credit)
(most of this stuff wasn't even mine, anyways)