WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en

00:00:00.060 --> 00:00:15.320
(dramatic intro music)

00:00:15.320 --> 00:00:16.960
fuuuuUUUUUUUUCK!

00:00:17.540 --> 00:00:18.060
Huh?

00:00:19.360 --> 00:00:19.860
Huh?

00:00:20.080 --> 00:00:20.660
(snickers)

00:00:20.780 --> 00:00:21.280
Heh?

00:00:21.840 --> 00:00:22.960
The filly moved her...

00:00:23.800 --> 00:00:24.840
her hands away?

00:00:25.220 --> 00:00:26.440
So she has hands and hooves?

00:00:26.520 --> 00:00:28.740
(soft cackling)

00:00:28.840 --> 00:00:30.660
Yeah.

00:00:30.660 --> 00:00:32.560
Apparently, she's got hooves and hands! (oh this gon be good)

00:00:32.940 --> 00:00:35.000
Pregnancy spells for two mares-

00:00:35.800 --> 00:00:37.920
(sigh) This is such a fucking stupid line...

00:00:38.660 --> 00:00:41.460
I pierced his stomach and he died FOREVER!

00:00:41.880 --> 00:00:43.000
How do you die forever? [exactly]

00:00:43.000 --> 00:00:43.880
(laughs)

00:00:44.300 --> 00:00:46.560
Don't you try and escape from me, you little thing!

00:00:47.540 --> 00:00:48.260
You little th-

00:00:48.260 --> 00:00:49.300
you little thing.

00:00:49.300 --> 00:00:50.640
(laughing) You little th-

00:00:51.440 --> 00:00:51.940
Fuck!

00:00:51.940 --> 00:00:53.320
How do I speak ROYAL?!

00:00:53.660 --> 00:00:54.160
Calefu-

00:00:54.500 --> 00:00:56.280
Careful not to let the cloth wra-

00:00:57.220 --> 00:01:00.240
Careful not to let the cloth catch on the bandages wrapped-

00:01:01.040 --> 00:01:02.640
This person doesn't believe in commas.

00:01:03.300 --> 00:01:05.080
Like, it- (stammers) just put some commas!

00:01:05.240 --> 00:01:07.140
It'd make it so much easier to read!

00:01:07.220 --> 00:01:07.980
(derp)

00:01:08.100 --> 00:01:09.640
Why is there no commas?! (some people just don't believe in them,)

00:01:10.400 --> 00:01:14.000
Suddenly, being grounded isn't so bad.

00:01:14.480 --> 00:01:16.320
'Cause I'm talking sexy.

00:01:16.720 --> 00:01:18.560
'Cause I'm a sexy mare! (damn right you are)

00:01:18.560 --> 00:01:21.160
(laughs)

00:01:21.160 --> 00:01:22.680
Tryin' to do this fuckin' line!

00:01:23.140 --> 00:01:24.460
Inches away from his death,

00:01:24.880 --> 00:01:25.860
I spared him!

00:01:26.140 --> 00:01:28.660
Because I'm kind, and belevolent (wut) that way!

00:01:29.680 --> 00:01:31.120
And I have a huge COCK! (ex-fucking-cuse me, wut?)

00:01:31.460 --> 00:01:34.120
And I fuck all the ponies in this fucking story! (laughing)

00:01:34.180 --> 00:01:34.740
(MOVING ON)

00:01:34.820 --> 00:01:36.740
She barked, causing the der-

00:01:37.040 --> 00:01:37.840
Draconequus.

00:01:37.940 --> 00:01:38.980
Jar-quon-eh-quis. (It's Draconequus.)

00:01:38.980 --> 00:01:39.480
(nope)

00:01:39.820 --> 00:01:41.060
Causing the jarcuoneq-

00:01:41.240 --> 00:01:41.740
J- c-

00:01:41.740 --> 00:01:43.180
(raspberry) (Draconequus isn't that hard to say...)

00:01:43.180 --> 00:01:46.160
fffffffffffffffFFFFFFFFFFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!

00:01:46.280 --> 00:01:47.500
(Lost, you okay?)

00:01:47.600 --> 00:01:48.120
AGGGH!

00:01:48.660 --> 00:01:52.680
They don't ask questions, if they think it's a good thing.

00:01:53.420 --> 00:01:56.160
Well, maybe Twilight Sparkle does.

00:01:56.400 --> 00:01:57.940
But she questions everything.

00:01:58.720 --> 00:02:00.160
'Cause Twilight's a bitch.

00:02:00.620 --> 00:02:02.420
Star pupil, my ass.

00:02:02.660 --> 00:02:04.720
She doesn't worship the Royal Flank,

00:02:04.880 --> 00:02:05.960
so fuck her.

00:02:06.020 --> 00:02:07.080
(laughs)

00:02:07.080 --> 00:02:07.580
(thud)

00:02:07.920 --> 00:02:10.160
Go. Fuck. Yourselves. (You know.... if MLP weren't a kids show.... i could totally see RD give no fucks about saying this whenever she's pissed,)

00:02:10.380 --> 00:02:11.760
Yelvethhhhhh-

00:02:11.760 --> 00:02:12.700
(laughs)

00:02:12.780 --> 00:02:13.280
(raspberry)

00:02:13.740 --> 00:02:15.860
That was an odd way of saying all that. (Eeyup,)

00:02:16.340 --> 00:02:20.020
But I doubt you'd do a THING... to get it this way.

00:02:20.780 --> 00:02:23.040
Quite frankly, I'm jealous.

00:02:23.380 --> 00:02:24.080
(barely audible laugh)

00:02:24.900 --> 00:02:28.640
'Cause I'm Rarity and I'm trying to have verbal sex with you! (aren't that lovely?)

00:02:28.640 --> 00:02:29.680
(more laughs) [thank you for that appropriate face AJ,]

00:02:30.320 --> 00:02:32.660
I'm NOT giving up my friend to you.

00:02:32.660 --> 00:02:33.460
(loyalty in a nutshell, peeps)

00:02:33.460 --> 00:02:36.060
'Cause I'm Rainbow Dash and I'm a fuckin' BADASS!

00:02:36.380 --> 00:02:37.860
MOTHERFUCKEEEEEERS!!

00:02:37.860 --> 00:02:42.540
(Bay-splosions)

00:02:42.940 --> 00:02:43.440
Nope.

00:02:43.500 --> 00:02:44.720
(laughs)

00:02:44.920 --> 00:02:45.420
Nooope!

00:02:45.820 --> 00:02:48.940
She barked, causing Discord to flinch. (IT'S DRACONEQUUS!)

00:02:49.520 --> 00:02:51.820
There we go, I'm just gonna say that because I can't say it-

00:02:51.820 --> 00:02:53.240
I can't say it! (DRACONEQUUS ISN'T THAT HARD TO SAY, LOST!)

00:02:53.540 --> 00:02:54.040
Fuck!

00:02:54.340 --> 00:02:55.740
I can't read!

00:02:55.920 --> 00:02:56.520
(deep inhale)

00:02:56.520 --> 00:02:57.960
Why do I read?!

00:02:57.960 --> 00:02:59.600
I can't fucking do it!

00:02:59.760 --> 00:03:00.340
Aaaaahh!

00:03:00.700 --> 00:03:02.080
Pinkie ran out of breath.

00:03:02.340 --> 00:03:05.360
She sucked in a lungful before continuing on with the same ne-

00:03:05.620 --> 00:03:06.420
At the same ne- break-

00:03:06.480 --> 00:03:07.440
neck-breaking...

00:03:07.740 --> 00:03:08.500
neckbreak pa-

00:03:08.880 --> 00:03:09.380
NECK.

00:03:09.680 --> 00:03:10.260
BREAK.

00:03:10.260 --> 00:03:10.800
NECK.

00:03:10.800 --> 00:03:11.440
PACE.

00:03:11.440 --> 00:03:12.160
FUCK ME.

00:03:12.700 --> 00:03:14.380
Just keep her awake.

00:03:15.280 --> 00:03:17.120
Before Zecora smacks you.

00:03:17.400 --> 00:03:19.500
Is Zecora gonna have to smack a bitch?

00:03:19.700 --> 00:03:21.960
Because I really need to scratch this itch!

00:03:21.960 --> 00:03:23.300
(laughs)

00:03:23.440 --> 00:03:24.260
I can rhyme!

00:03:24.260 --> 00:03:24.760
(thump)

00:03:24.780 --> 00:03:25.600
Booyah! (makes mic dropping sound)

00:03:25.880 --> 00:03:26.520
Drop mic.

00:03:26.560 --> 00:03:27.060
Ahh!

00:03:27.100 --> 00:03:27.600
Suck it.

00:03:28.060 --> 00:03:29.440
She could be a doctor!

00:03:29.760 --> 00:03:30.840
Or a lawyer!

00:03:31.200 --> 00:03:32.720
And get her cutie mark!

00:03:33.060 --> 00:03:34.860
So fuck you, Diamond Tiara! (yass QUEEN)

00:03:34.860 --> 00:03:35.680
(laughs)

00:03:36.080 --> 00:03:40.540
For RariLight, she preferred the more communal look of Rarityville,

00:03:40.740 --> 00:03:41.620
to present to-

00:03:42.420 --> 00:03:43.820
Goddamn this fucking fic.

00:03:44.420 --> 00:03:45.900
(subdued laughter)

00:03:46.320 --> 00:03:47.900
Lost, what do you do when you're not-

00:03:47.900 --> 00:03:50.740
reading grimdarks, well, I read stupid fucking fanfics.

00:03:51.420 --> 00:03:53.660
About... Rarity being best pony.

00:03:54.220 --> 00:03:55.780
Right now, she's probably running ar-

00:03:56.280 --> 00:03:58.180
Right now, she's probably running around Poké-

00:03:58.420 --> 00:03:59.380
P- Pokéville.

00:03:59.380 --> 00:04:00.220
(snickers)

00:04:01.080 --> 00:04:02.180
(laughs)

00:04:03.100 --> 00:04:03.940
UUUUGH!

00:04:04.460 --> 00:04:05.880
Where the fuck is my lines?

00:04:05.880 --> 00:04:07.240
I friggin' lost my place.

00:04:07.240 --> 00:04:09.300
Goddammit, LostNarrator.

00:04:09.440 --> 00:04:12.720
Bring me in to do these fuckin' lines, and you don't have shit ready.

00:04:13.180 --> 00:04:15.180
God, how do you run a fuckin' channel?

00:04:15.180 --> 00:04:16.660
This is fuckin' pitiful.

00:04:17.120 --> 00:04:18.040
Applebloom!

00:04:18.300 --> 00:04:19.660
Bring the shovel!

00:04:19.920 --> 00:04:22.000
So I can beat the SHIT outta Lost!

00:04:22.580 --> 00:04:24.900
(daaaaaaaaaaaaaayem Live-action Animation, i'm impressed,) 'Cause it's hotter than ti~tties~

00:04:24.900 --> 00:04:26.920
It's so fuckin' hot!

00:04:27.540 --> 00:04:30.280
I'm sweating fucking BALLS right now,

00:04:30.280 --> 00:04:33.920
because-I-have-to-record-this-fuckin'-bullshit-for-you-so-you-don't-get-mad-at-meeeeeeee~!

00:04:34.560 --> 00:04:36.160
Ta-daaaaaaaa~!

00:04:36.780 --> 00:04:37.980
Turn the fuckin' fan off-

00:04:37.980 --> 00:04:38.600
WHYY?!

00:04:38.780 --> 00:04:39.720
FUCK YOU!!

00:04:40.100 --> 00:04:41.480
Making me RECORD!!

00:04:42.200 --> 00:04:43.060
I'm so prou-

00:04:43.060 --> 00:04:43.680
er- I don't-

00:04:43.780 --> 00:04:44.840
AHHHH I can't do-

00:04:44.840 --> 00:04:47.860
IIII caaan't RD right noooow!

00:04:47.860 --> 00:04:49.780
(laughs)

00:04:49.780 --> 00:04:51.600
The fuck am I doing with my life?

00:04:51.600 --> 00:04:52.300
(living it? IDK)

00:04:52.300 --> 00:04:52.980
AHHHH!

00:04:52.980 --> 00:04:53.480
Okay.

00:04:53.820 --> 00:04:55.960
DJ PON- (squeak) 3!

00:04:56.680 --> 00:04:58.720
I kinda got Rainbow-y there!

00:04:58.720 --> 00:05:01.060
(laughs)

00:05:01.520 --> 00:05:02.520
Wrong squeak!

00:05:02.840 --> 00:05:03.980
Vinyl doesn't squeak!

00:05:03.980 --> 00:05:05.040
(laughs)

00:05:05.680 --> 00:05:06.680
Get outta my hair!

00:05:06.840 --> 00:05:08.120
Y'all smell like bloobonic-

00:05:08.120 --> 00:05:08.720
bubonic-

00:05:08.720 --> 00:05:10.120
bubonic plague!

00:05:10.120 --> 00:05:11.720
BUBONIC PLAGUE!! (boob-onic, you say?)

00:05:11.900 --> 00:05:12.460
Fuck!

00:05:13.060 --> 00:05:14.180
Lighten up, old timer-

00:05:14.180 --> 00:05:16.180
I gotta go higher, because if I go-

00:05:16.180 --> 00:05:18.320
DON'T go higher, I'm gonna sound like Naruto!

00:05:18.320 --> 00:05:19.540
That's not what we want.

00:05:19.540 --> 00:05:21.020
(laughs softly)

00:05:21.260 --> 00:05:22.720
BELIEVE IT!! (laughs)

00:05:23.020 --> 00:05:24.840
I see what information you're seeking-

00:05:24.840 --> 00:05:27.000
she would NOT fucking say this!

00:05:27.000 --> 00:05:28.340
God DAAAAMN!

00:05:28.620 --> 00:05:31.580
Nobody knows how to fucking WRITE for Rainbow!

00:05:31.900 --> 00:05:32.840
Except for me.

00:05:33.000 --> 00:05:33.960
'Cause I'm Rainbow.

00:05:34.800 --> 00:05:36.340
You all fucking suck.

00:05:36.880 --> 00:05:38.620
Make me wanna sit up proud like a s-

00:05:38.820 --> 00:05:39.940
cornstalk in August.

00:05:39.940 --> 00:05:41.860
I don't even know what the fuck that line is.

00:05:42.240 --> 00:05:43.660
ooOOOOHHHH!!

00:05:44.420 --> 00:05:45.160
(meow)

00:05:45.240 --> 00:05:46.300
What do you want?

00:05:46.760 --> 00:05:47.920
(meowrowr)

00:05:48.300 --> 00:05:48.800
What?!

00:05:49.480 --> 00:05:50.320
You're not-

00:05:50.320 --> 00:05:51.540
you're not supposed to be in this!

00:05:51.540 --> 00:05:53.620
This isn't your m-... reading!

00:05:54.440 --> 00:05:54.940
(meow)

00:05:55.260 --> 00:05:57.460
When did Tank decide to start meowing? (Ever since Discord made it so pigs can fly?)

00:05:57.860 --> 00:05:58.580
Hey!

00:05:58.920 --> 00:06:04.880
This is one of those... make-me-be-quiet-with-promises-of-sexy-times things, isn't it?

00:06:05.280 --> 00:06:06.240
(soft laughter)

00:06:07.100 --> 00:06:10.480
Aaaaaaaaagh, Goddamn this fucking fic!

00:06:10.600 --> 00:06:11.400
AAAAAGH!!

00:06:12.020 --> 00:06:13.060
(unnaturally soft and squeaky) Awww yeah-!

00:06:13.060 --> 00:06:17.220
I'm gonna kill my voice doin' this fucking storyyyyy!

00:06:17.560 --> 00:06:18.760
Fuck you, Guti!

00:06:18.940 --> 00:06:21.360
(laughs while Guti looks on, not taking any of RD's shit)

00:06:21.640 --> 00:06:22.740
Pinkie Pie line here.

00:06:23.160 --> 00:06:23.920
Pinkie said-

00:06:23.980 --> 00:06:24.480
Pinkie sai-

00:06:24.480 --> 00:06:25.580
There's two "Pinkie said"s?!

00:06:25.580 --> 00:06:26.660
What the FUCK?!

00:06:27.220 --> 00:06:29.680
UUUUGH I'VE BEEN SAYING THIS FOREVEEEER!!!

00:06:29.680 --> 00:06:30.180
Okay.

00:06:30.280 --> 00:06:32.300
Pinkie said! (laughs)

00:06:32.480 --> 00:06:33.000
Pinkie said,

00:06:33.000 --> 00:06:33.560
Rainbow said.

00:06:33.560 --> 00:06:34.100
Pinkie said,

00:06:34.100 --> 00:06:34.660
Rainbow said!

00:06:34.660 --> 00:06:35.440
Pinkie said, P-

00:06:36.080 --> 00:06:37.720
UUUUGH FUCKING KILL ME!!

00:06:37.720 --> 00:06:38.220
(no thanks)

00:06:38.360 --> 00:06:40.720
How could I forget that long night? Heh...

00:06:41.340 --> 00:06:41.980
Wait a minute.

00:06:42.200 --> 00:06:42.700
No!

00:06:42.900 --> 00:06:43.800
No, WAIT!

00:06:44.240 --> 00:06:45.720
I don't even know what the fuckin' context is. (that shit's important, yo)

00:06:46.040 --> 00:06:47.360
I don't even know what the context is!

00:06:47.600 --> 00:06:48.520
I don't fuckin' know!

00:06:48.820 --> 00:06:49.940
Fuck bitches, get money!

00:06:50.000 --> 00:06:50.500
Ah!

00:06:50.740 --> 00:06:52.380
Fuck bitches, get money!

00:06:52.380 --> 00:06:53.620
(laughs)

00:06:54.060 --> 00:06:56.240
All the bits, makin' it rain!

00:06:56.240 --> 00:06:58.500
(laughs)

00:06:58.500 --> 00:06:59.820
I'm fucking terrible!

00:07:00.800 --> 00:07:02.140
Too bad, too.

00:07:02.500 --> 00:07:04.400
He was really givin' it to her!

00:07:05.260 --> 00:07:06.800
(awkward silence)

00:07:07.200 --> 00:07:08.960
I CAN'T DO THIS!!!

00:07:08.960 --> 00:07:10.180
WHAT IS MY LIFE?!!

00:07:10.180 --> 00:07:11.100
Oh God, I can't do this.

00:07:11.940 --> 00:07:13.060
I'm her boyfriend.

00:07:13.700 --> 00:07:15.420
Ahhh, that sounded gay...

00:07:16.120 --> 00:07:17.460
(stereotypical gay man voice) I'm her boyfrieeeend!

00:07:18.340 --> 00:07:19.540
Totes m'gotes!

00:07:20.180 --> 00:07:22.760
...and was somewhat alarmed by some of the data peaks-

00:07:22.880 --> 00:07:23.380
spikes...

00:07:24.020 --> 00:07:25.500
...and was somewhat alarmed as-

00:07:25.640 --> 00:07:27.180
(performs ancient and elaborate tongue dance)

00:07:27.640 --> 00:07:32.460
(crying yet slightly scratchy) It takes more than heavy metal and alcohol to make a tea par-

00:07:32.460 --> 00:07:32.960
(cough)

00:07:32.960 --> 00:07:33.920
Why am I having pro-?!

00:07:33.920 --> 00:07:34.500
RD!

00:07:34.640 --> 00:07:35.300
RD voice!

00:07:35.560 --> 00:07:37.120
Come here, baby! Come here! (laughing)

00:07:37.580 --> 00:07:38.220
Uuugh!

00:07:38.780 --> 00:07:39.400
Jerk- (off)

00:07:40.320 --> 00:07:40.960
Jerk? (off?)

00:07:42.760 --> 00:07:43.340
Huh?

00:07:44.420 --> 00:07:45.680
Hahaha (Mag, you sly bitch)

00:07:45.680 --> 00:07:48.380
I'm trying to record! Whaaaaaat?

00:07:49.180 --> 00:07:51.620
Calm down, AJ, it's just a game! (why you have to be mad?)

00:07:51.620 --> 00:07:53.380
We're playing Sacrifice!

00:07:53.500 --> 00:07:54.900
It's a colt classic!

00:07:54.900 --> 00:07:55.540
(don't sound like no colt classics I know)

00:07:55.540 --> 00:07:57.660
That sounded a little New Yorker there! (OY, Wat are you doing in my living room?)

00:07:57.660 --> 00:07:59.120
(laughs)

00:07:59.840 --> 00:08:02.460
Her face contorted with the fury of a young va-

00:08:02.620 --> 00:08:03.200
Volatile-

00:08:03.200 --> 00:08:03.720
vialtile.

00:08:03.840 --> 00:08:04.380
Volat-

00:08:04.580 --> 00:08:05.460
vol-a-tle.

00:08:05.860 --> 00:08:06.360
Volatle!

00:08:06.540 --> 00:08:08.080
A young volatle! (laughs) (GG brah, :3)

00:08:08.080 --> 00:08:08.580
(smack)

00:08:08.640 --> 00:08:10.960
(laughs more)

00:08:11.340 --> 00:08:12.900
This is why I don't narraaaaate!

00:08:13.000 --> 00:08:14.660
(laughs)

00:08:15.740 --> 00:08:18.380
"Lost, why did you name yourself TheLostNarrator"?

00:08:18.380 --> 00:08:19.680
Because I'm a fucking idiot!

00:08:20.440 --> 00:08:21.100
Ahhh, let's see...

00:08:21.520 --> 00:08:24.260
(proceeds to make various strange mouth noises)

00:08:24.260 --> 00:08:25.380
I can hear all my vo-

00:08:25.380 --> 00:08:26.700
my- my mouth moving,

00:08:26.700 --> 00:08:28.340
'cause I have the headphones plugged into this thing.

00:08:28.340 --> 00:08:29.900
It sounds disgusting.

00:08:29.900 --> 00:08:30.600
I love it!

00:08:30.600 --> 00:08:33.740
(proceeds to emit even more gross sounds while Lost takes the Try Not to Laugh/Hurl Challenge)

00:08:33.740 --> 00:08:35.420
Hope you're enjoying this, by the way. (laughs)

00:08:36.120 --> 00:08:36.940
She asked...

00:08:37.440 --> 00:08:38.480
she asked...

00:08:38.940 --> 00:08:39.440
s-

00:08:40.320 --> 00:08:40.860
(mrow)

00:08:41.020 --> 00:08:44.200
I'm going to fucking make you into a HAT!! (nooo not the kitty)

00:08:44.700 --> 00:08:46.000
I can't believe it!

00:08:46.140 --> 00:08:48.100
Are you THE Daring Do?! (i thought i already told you, IT'S INDIANA JONES IN A PONY COSTUME! :3)

00:08:48.360 --> 00:08:49.780
Here in Canterlot?!!

00:08:49.900 --> 00:08:50.860
E- o- (cough)

00:08:50.860 --> 00:08:51.400
FUCK!!

00:08:51.440 --> 00:08:55.200
WHY AM I HAVING PROBLEMS WITH THAT LI-HI-HI-HIIIIIIIIIIIIII-

00:08:55.200 --> 00:08:56.520
HIIIiiiiaaaa-

00:08:56.660 --> 00:08:57.680
aaaaaaagh!

00:08:57.680 --> 00:08:58.180
(cough)

00:08:59.120 --> 00:09:01.280
...and we saw you following us all day!

00:09:03.240 --> 00:09:05.120
(stereotypical gay man voice again) Following us all da-aaaaay!

00:09:05.620 --> 00:09:07.120
While she was in the hospital,

00:09:07.320 --> 00:09:09.840
I thought it'd be fun to, like, go through her stuff,

00:09:09.840 --> 00:09:12.560
and maybe find some REALLY embarrassing things about her-

00:09:12.720 --> 00:09:14.440
ba- in her (smack) DIARY!

00:09:14.540 --> 00:09:15.540
(smack) WHY AM I

00:09:15.540 --> 00:09:16.260
(smack) FUCKING THIS

00:09:16.260 --> 00:09:16.920
(smack) LINE UP

00:09:16.920 --> 00:09:17.420
(smack) SO

00:09:17.420 --> 00:09:18.340
(smack) HAAAARD?!!

00:09:18.780 --> 00:09:20.720
They're so nice and firm-! (OwO)

00:09:20.720 --> 00:09:21.700
(laughs)

00:09:22.180 --> 00:09:24.960
What the fuck is my life?! (laughs)

00:09:25.580 --> 00:09:27.280
You can't make good cups- cake-

00:09:27.280 --> 00:09:28.680
(stutters)

00:09:28.820 --> 00:09:29.460
FUCK! (language, Pinkie)

00:09:30.020 --> 00:09:32.380
Unfortunately, she was no longer shore-

00:09:32.480 --> 00:09:32.980
sure.

00:09:33.100 --> 00:09:34.160
SUUUUUURE!!

00:09:34.400 --> 00:09:37.840
Why am I saying shore?! (laughs)

00:09:38.440 --> 00:09:39.380
See you at work next week-

00:09:39.380 --> 00:09:39.940
(chokes)

00:09:40.300 --> 00:09:41.080
Ahhh, fuck!

00:09:41.080 --> 00:09:41.580
Mm.

00:09:42.720 --> 00:09:43.260
See you at wor-

00:09:45.300 --> 00:09:46.200
Burp, come on!

00:09:46.860 --> 00:09:47.360
(burp)

00:09:47.460 --> 00:09:48.540
Awww yeah!

00:09:48.600 --> 00:09:49.100
Mm.

00:09:49.240 --> 00:09:49.740
(adorable squeak)

00:09:50.020 --> 00:09:51.620
Ah, I'm just peaking all over the place.

00:09:51.620 --> 00:09:53.220
Shit, maybe I shouldn't be peaking. (Damn right you shouldn't, that shit's illegal,)

00:09:53.300 --> 00:09:54.460
(laughs softly)

00:09:54.860 --> 00:09:56.420
That might be wise!

00:09:56.420 --> 00:09:57.360
(it might?)

00:09:59.020 --> 00:10:00.320
You're not supposed to be in this!

00:10:00.320 --> 00:10:03.880
(you can't stop the pony equivalent of Deadpool, so why even try?)

00:10:03.880 --> 00:10:05.060
Pinkie!

00:10:05.880 --> 00:10:07.800
I'm trying to record here!

00:10:07.800 --> 00:10:08.660
Pinkie/Mag: (giggles)

00:10:13.100 --> 00:10:14.080
Dammit, Pinkie.

00:10:14.880 --> 00:10:15.840
(o hai mark)

00:10:15.840 --> 00:10:18.320
Pinkie, why are you eating in the recording room?!

00:10:19.480 --> 00:10:20.620
PINKIIIIE!!

00:10:21.780 --> 00:10:24.020
Heh! Yeah, she just flells like an eal-

00:10:24.020 --> 00:10:24.760
(performs vigorous tongue action)

00:10:25.160 --> 00:10:28.760
AAAAAAHHH WHAT THE FUCK WOOOOOR-HER-HA-HA-

00:10:28.860 --> 00:10:29.940
HAAAAAAAAAAA-

00:10:30.160 --> 00:10:32.740
AAAAAAaaaaaaa...

00:10:33.820 --> 00:10:34.320
a.

00:10:34.700 --> 00:10:36.920
Yes, I suppose.

00:10:37.420 --> 00:10:41.640
But, as I was saying, I think it's time we start to think about adop-

00:10:41.640 --> 00:10:42.860
(stutters profusely)

00:10:43.260 --> 00:10:43.840
AAAAAGH!

00:10:44.960 --> 00:10:46.580
(laughs) WHAT?!

00:10:47.640 --> 00:10:49.040
What did you say?!

00:10:53.080 --> 00:10:57.100
(this woman has such infectious laughter; I love it to bits)

00:10:58.200 --> 00:10:59.440
(more laughing)

00:10:59.820 --> 00:11:00.480
My girl-

00:11:01.140 --> 00:11:07.180
(even more laughing)

00:11:07.740 --> 00:11:09.140
My girlfriend, lazy and ge-

00:11:09.140 --> 00:11:10.000
ladies and gentlemen.

00:11:10.520 --> 00:11:12.900
(giggly today, aren't you, Lost?)

00:11:12.980 --> 00:11:15.080
FUCK YOU, I CAN'T TALK!!!

00:11:15.080 --> 00:11:16.500
(when have you ever been able to, though?)

00:11:18.460 --> 00:11:22.880
(I think you get the gist of what's going on here, so I won't bother captioning it anymore)

00:11:22.880 --> 00:11:25.100
(but Losty takes a nice swig of agua here)

00:11:25.100 --> 00:11:26.200
Mag: Oh my God!

00:11:27.600 --> 00:11:29.160
Hey LostNarrator!

00:11:29.160 --> 00:11:32.060
What happens when you try to record with a GIRLFRIEND IN THE ROOM?! (apparently this)

00:11:39.560 --> 00:11:41.980
...pulling out the other graphic novels he had brought wi-

00:11:42.420 --> 00:11:42.920
(pop)

00:11:43.220 --> 00:11:44.400
(softly) Can't read this fucking line.

00:11:44.400 --> 00:11:44.980
This line-

00:11:44.980 --> 00:11:45.660
Fuck this line.

00:11:46.200 --> 00:11:48.080
Fuck this line with a paddle, sideways!

00:11:48.080 --> 00:11:49.160
I'm fucking over it.

00:11:49.780 --> 00:11:51.320
She COOED softly...

00:11:52.040 --> 00:11:54.480
"At least we don't have to go though it...

00:11:54.920 --> 00:11:56.060
(sultry) "alooooone."

00:11:56.460 --> 00:11:57.940
(laughs)

00:11:58.540 --> 00:12:00.220
That Orion D, though!

00:12:00.940 --> 00:12:02.400
Awwww ye-

00:12:02.400 --> 00:12:03.880
(descends into coughing fit)

00:12:04.040 --> 00:12:04.840
(laughs)

00:12:05.060 --> 00:12:06.240
That was- that was sexy.

00:12:06.240 --> 00:12:07.700
(laughing) That was SO sexy!

00:12:09.380 --> 00:12:10.780
(indeed)

00:12:11.140 --> 00:12:12.320
Wha-(squeak)-t in tarnation?

00:12:13.300 --> 00:12:14.800
Wha-(squeak)-t in tarnation-?

00:12:14.800 --> 00:12:16.120
I'm squeakin' weird!

00:12:16.120 --> 00:12:17.080
Because (thump) I- j-

00:12:17.080 --> 00:12:18.320
Applejack don't squeak!

00:12:18.620 --> 00:12:19.700
Fuckin'... shit!

00:12:20.380 --> 00:12:21.200
Go away, RD.

00:12:21.440 --> 00:12:22.200
(laughs)

00:12:22.860 --> 00:12:24.220
(whispers) I have a plan...

00:12:24.860 --> 00:12:25.720
(more confident) I have a p- oh-

00:12:25.720 --> 00:12:26.220
Woah.

00:12:26.220 --> 00:12:26.720
Woah!

00:12:26.760 --> 00:12:27.720
(laughs)

00:12:28.200 --> 00:12:29.400
I dunno where THAT came from!

00:12:29.640 --> 00:12:31.620
I HAVE A PLAN!! (laughs)

00:12:31.820 --> 00:12:33.240
Woah! (laughs)

00:12:33.440 --> 00:12:35.680
Calm down there, Scootaloo! (laughs)

00:12:36.000 --> 00:12:37.620
That ain't gonna work, so you just...

00:12:37.780 --> 00:12:39.960
chill your little pony titties! (okay then)

00:12:40.740 --> 00:12:44.760
SHEEEE IIIIIS NOOOOOT HEEEEEEERE!!!

00:12:45.840 --> 00:12:46.420
(meowrowr)

00:12:46.720 --> 00:12:47.400
(imitates cat)

00:12:47.460 --> 00:12:47.960
(cat retorts)

00:12:48.060 --> 00:12:49.880
(Lost snaps back then laughs as cat delivers a crushing blow)

00:12:49.880 --> 00:12:52.540
(Lost tries but fails, and cat enters)

00:12:52.540 --> 00:12:53.200
Nope, she's here.

00:12:53.320 --> 00:12:54.600
(laughs)

00:12:55.200 --> 00:12:57.180
Here! Now! Through these doors!

00:12:57.420 --> 00:13:01.200
Quickly now, before more... encouragement... is supplied.

00:13:01.200 --> 00:13:01.940
(kinky)

00:13:01.940 --> 00:13:02.920
It's a Taser up yer bum!

00:13:02.920 --> 00:13:03.420
(VERY kinky)

00:13:03.960 --> 00:13:04.680
(monotone Maud voice) After...

00:13:05.140 --> 00:13:06.420
After everything...

00:13:06.980 --> 00:13:08.920
you're just going to let me die?

00:13:09.560 --> 00:13:10.980
I tried so hard...

00:13:11.720 --> 00:13:12.980
for you, Boulder. (I'm guessing it didn't even matter?)

00:13:13.560 --> 00:13:14.480
Daisy Fields!

00:13:14.580 --> 00:13:15.080
Clear!

00:13:15.080 --> 00:13:15.580
Fai! (FI)

00:13:15.580 --> 00:13:16.080
Fi! (FAI)

00:13:16.080 --> 00:13:16.580
Fo!

00:13:16.580 --> 00:13:17.120
Fum!

00:13:17.120 --> 00:13:17.620
Dicks! (I COME FOR YA BUM! XD)

00:13:17.620 --> 00:13:18.600
(when did this become Jack and the Beanstalk?)

00:13:18.600 --> 00:13:19.380
It's not in the script!

00:13:19.640 --> 00:13:20.240
(not as adorable squeak)

00:13:20.680 --> 00:13:22.280
The chamber was stocked with books,

00:13:22.420 --> 00:13:22.920
cocks-

00:13:23.060 --> 00:13:23.640
Cocks.

00:13:23.720 --> 00:13:24.220
Really?

00:13:24.220 --> 00:13:26.220
(laughing) They slept on cocks, that's what they slept on!

00:13:26.360 --> 00:13:27.420
(laughs)

00:13:28.220 --> 00:13:30.160
I thought you LOVED ME!

00:13:31.480 --> 00:13:34.220
(sings) How could you do this to meeeeee?

00:13:34.220 --> 00:13:34.920
(don't think I made any mistakes)

00:13:34.920 --> 00:13:36.880
The chamber was stocked with books,

00:13:36.960 --> 00:13:37.500
cocks-

00:13:37.800 --> 00:13:39.400
co- fuck, now I'm saying it re-

00:13:39.400 --> 00:13:40.280
(irritated snort)

00:13:41.020 --> 00:13:42.220
(sigh)

00:13:43.480 --> 00:13:44.960
They're not sleeping on cocks.

00:13:45.140 --> 00:13:45.840
They're not.

00:13:46.120 --> 00:13:47.160
They're not doing that!

00:13:47.160 --> 00:13:48.240
Why do I keep saying that?

00:13:49.060 --> 00:13:51.320
Awww, aren't those fillies cute, Lyra?

00:13:51.880 --> 00:13:53.020
Aww, aren't those-

00:13:54.180 --> 00:13:55.360
(laughs)

00:13:56.380 --> 00:13:59.020
I'M TRYING TO RECORD, YOU BITCH!!

00:14:00.720 --> 00:14:01.400
FUCK!!

00:14:05.480 --> 00:14:05.980
That-

00:14:10.960 --> 00:14:12.580
I'M NOT CHEATING ON YOU!!

00:14:13.720 --> 00:14:16.440
Enjoy the rest of your pitiful life.

00:14:16.860 --> 00:14:19.260
(sinister chuckle)

00:14:19.860 --> 00:14:23.300
(silly Kermit-esque voice) Enjoy the rest of your piiiiiiiitiful life!

00:14:23.500 --> 00:14:24.820
(chuckles in the same voice)

00:14:25.180 --> 00:14:25.820
Fuck you!

00:14:26.780 --> 00:14:28.540
(crying) G- goodbye, Orion...

00:14:29.220 --> 00:14:29.720
I...

00:14:30.180 --> 00:14:31.940
I love you, too!

00:14:33.560 --> 00:14:36.000
(over-exaggerated crying)

00:14:37.280 --> 00:14:37.920
I...

00:14:38.680 --> 00:14:40.680
I LOVE YOU TOO!

00:14:42.300 --> 00:14:43.180
AHHH-HA!!

00:14:44.000 --> 00:14:45.180
MY HEART!!

00:14:46.600 --> 00:14:50.400
NOT THE BROWN ONE, RAINBOW DASH!!

00:14:51.140 --> 00:14:51.940
(tries to scream as RD)

00:14:52.200 --> 00:14:52.700
Oh God!

00:14:52.900 --> 00:14:53.520
I sound like a di-

00:14:53.760 --> 00:14:56.260
(raptor noises)

00:14:56.800 --> 00:14:58.600
(laughing) I sound like a fucking raptor!

00:14:59.000 --> 00:15:01.380
(laughs)

00:15:02.580 --> 00:15:03.960
Faraday Spots!

00:15:04.260 --> 00:15:04.760
Clear!

00:15:04.760 --> 00:15:05.260
Fly!

00:15:05.260 --> 00:15:05.760
Fall!

00:15:05.760 --> 00:15:06.460
Complete!

00:15:06.960 --> 00:15:08.800
(something angry in German)

00:15:09.520 --> 00:15:10.340
Ohhh, you-

00:15:10.340 --> 00:15:12.080
well, you DO wanna call me a whore.

00:15:14.740 --> 00:15:18.800
I mean, RD telling Scootaloo, not you telling me!

00:15:18.800 --> 00:15:19.820
God!

00:15:20.220 --> 00:15:21.060
(laughs)

00:15:21.260 --> 00:15:22.520
(mocking) No, I don't!

00:15:22.700 --> 00:15:24.640
Says Lost to her girlfriend!

00:15:25.240 --> 00:15:26.520
Well, no shit, baby.

00:15:26.520 --> 00:15:27.560
We're ACTING!!

00:15:27.560 --> 00:15:28.260
(laughs)

00:15:28.940 --> 00:15:30.180
Just... wait here.

00:15:30.380 --> 00:15:31.940
I've gotta make a call!

00:15:32.740 --> 00:15:34.660
'Cause I'm calling my pimp!

00:15:35.020 --> 00:15:36.320
I need some cocaine!

00:15:36.320 --> 00:15:39.860
Didn't you know: that's why I go fast all the time,

00:15:39.860 --> 00:15:41.540
because I'm always coked up!

00:15:41.540 --> 00:15:42.380
(bitch need rehab) (I said no, no, no,)

00:15:42.380 --> 00:15:43.160
Just so much coke!

00:15:43.420 --> 00:15:46.080
Did you know I do coke off of Pinkie Pie's flank?

00:15:46.500 --> 00:15:48.100
SO MUCH fucking coke!

00:15:48.100 --> 00:15:50.160
God, just so much coke for days!

00:15:50.520 --> 00:15:53.140
I'm going to Hell! (laughs)

00:15:53.140 --> 00:15:53.800
(so are we)

00:15:53.900 --> 00:15:58.460
I see you just assumed I'm a fillyfooler like that, like it's a given fact...

00:15:58.580 --> 00:15:59.700
(laughs)

00:16:00.000 --> 00:16:01.520
(Lost attempts to summon an alien race)

00:16:01.760 --> 00:16:03.720
You think I'm a lesbian without even fuckin'-

00:16:03.720 --> 00:16:04.500
you're just judgin' me.

00:16:04.500 --> 00:16:06.020
You're just JUDGIN' me, ri- Rarity!

00:16:06.020 --> 00:16:07.180
Just fuckin' judgin' me!

00:16:07.840 --> 00:16:09.800
You destroyed our main cloud factory,

00:16:10.020 --> 00:16:11.900
injured SEVERAL ponies,

00:16:12.080 --> 00:16:14.300
left us with THOUSANDS of bitchin' (bits in) debt-!

00:16:14.620 --> 00:16:15.120
bitch.

00:16:15.840 --> 00:16:18.140
Ah, that thing with Jet Set and Upper F-

00:16:18.140 --> 00:16:19.000
f- w- upper- w-

00:16:19.000 --> 00:16:20.020
Upper Face, yeah.

00:16:20.120 --> 00:16:22.580
Up her Face, that's her fuckin' name. (laughs)

00:16:23.300 --> 00:16:26.140
Fluttershy, don't blame yourself!

00:16:26.140 --> 00:16:27.700
It was not you!

00:16:28.460 --> 00:16:29.800
It was me, baby!

00:16:30.160 --> 00:16:31.400
DON'T DIE!

00:16:32.100 --> 00:16:34.000
Too bad I get to kill her.

00:16:34.000 --> 00:16:35.440
Lolly-wolly!

00:16:36.240 --> 00:16:39.900
(valley girl voice) I am best actress... ever!

00:16:39.900 --> 00:16:40.400
(chuckles)

00:16:41.000 --> 00:16:44.260
(voice changes to fit character) Like a valley girl Scootaloo!

00:16:45.100 --> 00:16:47.400
O... M... G!

00:16:47.520 --> 00:16:50.440
Where is Rainbow Dash?

00:16:50.640 --> 00:16:54.740
Like, she's the coolest pegasus eveeeeeer!

00:16:55.300 --> 00:16:56.800
(normal voice) Okay, I'm done! I'm done!

00:16:57.100 --> 00:16:58.200
(laughs)

00:16:58.680 --> 00:16:59.840
An outward sho-

00:17:00.000 --> 00:17:03.380
An outward show of how little the pony cared about what udde-th-

00:17:03.440 --> 00:17:04.120
others-

00:17:04.220 --> 00:17:04.720
Udderth.

00:17:04.920 --> 00:17:05.560
Udders!

00:17:05.760 --> 00:17:06.320
Udders.

00:17:06.440 --> 00:17:07.080
What udders.

00:17:07.800 --> 00:17:08.560
Dem udders!

00:17:08.640 --> 00:17:09.500
(laughs)

00:17:09.820 --> 00:17:10.320
No.

00:17:10.900 --> 00:17:12.140
NYAAAAAAAAAGH!! (trying to imitate Undyne, are we?)

00:17:12.220 --> 00:17:12.920
(mrow)

00:17:13.280 --> 00:17:13.840
(chuckles)

00:17:14.040 --> 00:17:14.680
(mew)

00:17:14.680 --> 00:17:15.520
(Lost imitates)

00:17:15.800 --> 00:17:16.620
(tries again but just looks silly)

00:17:17.200 --> 00:17:18.160
You wanna come join me?

00:17:19.960 --> 00:17:21.900
Scootaloo, Taking a Hard Shit.

00:17:22.340 --> 00:17:24.280
(constipated Scootaloo sound)

00:17:25.500 --> 00:17:28.400
This concludes Scootaloo, Taking a Hard Shit.

00:17:29.340 --> 00:17:30.720
Am I peaking all over the place?

00:17:30.720 --> 00:17:32.520
I'm probably peaking all over the fuckin' place.

00:17:35.220 --> 00:17:37.800
PEAKING, not Pinkie!

00:17:38.660 --> 00:17:39.220
(laughs)

00:17:39.300 --> 00:17:41.540
NOT YOU, PINKIE!! GO BACK IN THE CORNER!!

00:17:44.680 --> 00:17:46.320
Not you! Go back! (fuckin' A! lost, you made Pinkiemena come forth, -.-.)

00:17:46.960 --> 00:17:50.280
So, I hear you're looking for somepony to take you under your wing,

00:17:50.280 --> 00:17:51.900
and I sound like I have a cold.

00:17:52.060 --> 00:17:53.640
(laughs)

00:17:54.620 --> 00:17:57.020
I could never forget the face of my o-

00:17:57.020 --> 00:17:57.960
my fa- phth- l-

00:17:57.960 --> 00:17:59.200
mmMMMLEAAAAHH!

00:18:00.260 --> 00:18:01.540
(both laugh)

00:18:01.720 --> 00:18:02.620
MY face?!

00:18:02.620 --> 00:18:04.760
I could never forget MY face!

00:18:04.760 --> 00:18:05.880
YOUR face?!

00:18:05.880 --> 00:18:07.860
(laughs)

00:18:08.160 --> 00:18:09.220
Goddammit!

00:18:10.060 --> 00:18:10.800
Fine!

00:18:11.220 --> 00:18:11.940
FINE!

00:18:12.660 --> 00:18:13.360
Fine...!

00:18:13.780 --> 00:18:14.360
(FUCK! xD)

00:18:14.840 --> 00:18:15.840
(laughs)

00:18:16.360 --> 00:18:18.180
That's the WRONG F-WORD, PINKIE!!

00:18:20.060 --> 00:18:21.420
Goddammit, Pinkie!

00:18:24.040 --> 00:18:26.140
I said FINE, not FUN!

00:18:28.500 --> 00:18:30.020
(sigh) Goddammit, Pinkie...

00:18:33.820 --> 00:18:34.800
'SCUSE ME?!

00:18:34.940 --> 00:18:35.960
My mother's dead!

00:18:40.140 --> 00:18:41.960
Don't you be talkin' 'bout my momma!

00:18:42.500 --> 00:18:43.840
Don't MAKE ME GET THE SHOVEL!! (yea so you can shove it so far up her arsehole you can poke her brain with it,)

00:18:43.840 --> 00:18:44.780
(PP saw that text huh?)

00:18:44.780 --> 00:18:47.860
Pinkie put a hoof to her chin, brow furruring-

00:18:47.860 --> 00:18:48.400
furring-

00:18:48.440 --> 00:18:49.160
fro- (wut)

00:18:49.160 --> 00:18:50.160
fff-ff-FSH!

00:18:50.800 --> 00:18:51.980
(sigh)

00:18:52.600 --> 00:18:54.280
Lost, can you pronounce anything right?

00:18:54.280 --> 00:18:54.780
Nope.

00:18:55.160 --> 00:18:58.340
He managed to tear most of the way through a 4-inched wide letter-

00:18:58.340 --> 00:18:58.840
le-

00:18:58.840 --> 00:18:59.380
BLULULULAH!

00:18:59.660 --> 00:19:02.420
(Lost proceeds to go insane)

00:19:03.020 --> 00:19:05.020
Knowing you, it's prolabibi-

00:19:05.020 --> 00:19:06.900
(Lost once more tries to summon an alien race)

00:19:07.060 --> 00:19:07.720
(laughs)

00:19:09.060 --> 00:19:09.560
Yep.

00:19:09.840 --> 00:19:11.300
That's- that's the line, that's a keeper!

00:19:12.160 --> 00:19:13.080
Cut, we're done!

00:19:13.660 --> 00:19:16.740
Well, this time around, not only are you gonna get your a-

00:19:16.740 --> 00:19:17.380
your- f-...

00:19:17.460 --> 00:19:18.740
(repeatedly slaps self)

00:19:18.880 --> 00:19:21.020
Fuck this fuckin' liiiiiiine!

00:19:21.380 --> 00:19:23.340
(laughing) Fuck this fuckin' liiiiiiine!

00:19:24.380 --> 00:19:25.220
Shi-hiIIT!

00:19:25.960 --> 00:19:28.160
I am TELLING you, I'm not-

00:19:28.260 --> 00:19:28.760
I don't-

00:19:28.880 --> 00:19:29.440
I'm not-

00:19:29.820 --> 00:19:30.820
Wh- what? Words? (how does one English?)

00:19:30.820 --> 00:19:31.620
(laughs)

00:19:31.940 --> 00:19:32.900
Dick in my mouth? What?

00:19:33.340 --> 00:19:34.880
(laughs)

00:19:35.320 --> 00:19:36.200
Because...

00:19:36.200 --> 00:19:37.320
(continues to laugh)

00:19:37.580 --> 00:19:39.260
Because it's FUN!

00:19:42.080 --> 00:19:42.580
BITCH!!

00:19:42.920 --> 00:19:44.420
THIS IS NOT YOUR STORY!!

00:19:44.960 --> 00:19:48.800
So, what exactly ARE we going to do to have Twi-

00:19:48.800 --> 00:19:49.400
f- not Twi-

00:19:49.400 --> 00:19:50.700
We're not helping Twilight!

00:19:50.960 --> 00:19:54.140
You're the one helping Fluttershy, not the fuckin' other way around!

00:19:54.140 --> 00:19:55.300
Fuck, get my line right.

00:19:56.000 --> 00:19:57.800
Immense choking sounds now!

00:19:57.800 --> 00:19:59.460
Choking soooooounds!

00:19:59.700 --> 00:20:02.960
Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-choking sooooounds! (laughs)

00:20:03.280 --> 00:20:03.940
Da-da-da-da-

00:20:03.940 --> 00:20:04.680
(chokes)

00:20:05.240 --> 00:20:06.720
Fluttershy's been having s-some-

00:20:06.880 --> 00:20:09.340
Fluttershy's been having some NASTY nightmares!

00:20:09.340 --> 00:20:10.660
NaaaAAAASTY!

00:20:11.080 --> 00:20:12.800
They're so NAAAASTY!

00:20:13.300 --> 00:20:14.820
Surprise, motherfuckers!

00:20:15.260 --> 00:20:16.800
Supplies, motherfuckers!

00:20:17.160 --> 00:20:18.700
All rise, motherfuckers!

00:20:19.240 --> 00:20:21.840
Because you're a lot braver than me.

00:20:22.080 --> 00:20:26.000
'Cause that's totally not a clichéd line that I would ever fucking say! (descends into laughter)

00:20:28.680 --> 00:20:30.520
OHHH, THIS FIC, GUTI!!

00:20:30.520 --> 00:20:35.200
(laughs)

00:20:35.920 --> 00:20:38.460
Years of practice, Dashie!

00:20:39.320 --> 00:20:40.940
Years of practice-

00:20:40.940 --> 00:20:41.600
(raspberries self)

00:20:42.480 --> 00:20:43.860
Oh my God, I w- oh-!

00:20:43.860 --> 00:20:45.160
mmmmmaAAAAHH!

00:20:45.160 --> 00:20:46.540
(laughs shamefully)

00:20:46.940 --> 00:20:48.780
I didn't mean to raspberry!

00:20:48.780 --> 00:20:51.940
Oh, I raspberried myseeelf!

00:20:51.940 --> 00:20:54.340
(sad Magpiepony noises)

00:20:54.780 --> 00:20:55.360
You're...

00:20:55.600 --> 00:20:56.260
my...

00:20:56.660 --> 00:20:57.320
pretty...

00:20:57.760 --> 00:20:58.380
pony...

00:20:58.480 --> 00:20:59.540
princess.

00:21:01.100 --> 00:21:02.760
This doesn't involve you, Pinkie!

00:21:05.680 --> 00:21:09.480
Not my fault that Guti has me... doing a TwiDash story!

00:21:10.420 --> 00:21:12.520
It's obviously the less-superior ship.

00:21:18.380 --> 00:21:20.760
Is it gonna involve Applejack and her shovel? (now it's poor Guti who's arse is gonna be raped by AJ and her Shovel, OwO)

00:21:21.400 --> 00:21:24.160
Pinkie, I'm supposed to be recording!

00:21:24.160 --> 00:21:25.220
(chuckles)

00:21:30.040 --> 00:21:31.440
Pinkie, you're taking Business?

00:21:32.100 --> 00:21:34.120
(softly chuckles)

00:21:37.400 --> 00:21:38.420
(shit, we may need an exorcist) (Fuck the Exorcist, we need to GET TO THE COOPHA)

00:21:38.720 --> 00:21:40.320
Uh, s- s- sure?

00:21:40.320 --> 00:21:40.820
(boop)

00:21:40.820 --> 00:21:41.320
Eh-...

00:21:41.840 --> 00:21:42.400
Really?

00:21:42.620 --> 00:21:43.120
REALLY?!

00:21:43.120 --> 00:21:44.860
You just fucking hit the mic, Peanut!

00:21:44.860 --> 00:21:45.920
You fuck!

00:21:46.540 --> 00:21:47.540
She put a hoof to her mouth-

00:21:47.540 --> 00:21:48.040
ma-

00:21:48.040 --> 00:21:48.880
Fuck this LINE!!

00:21:48.880 --> 00:21:50.140
This fuckin' LIIIIIIINE!!

00:21:52.140 --> 00:21:53.360
Yaaaay! (continuity!) (For The fuckin' Win my dudes, :D)

00:21:53.980 --> 00:21:54.480
(clears throat)

00:21:54.480 --> 00:21:56.640
I believe I start here with chapter 4,

00:21:56.640 --> 00:21:57.420
so let's...

00:21:57.980 --> 00:21:58.720
going down...

00:21:59.380 --> 00:22:01.560
(mock German/Austrian/whatever accent) Hello! Zis is Rainbow Dash, ja,

00:22:01.560 --> 00:22:04.480
and ve're going to be performing zhe Sonic Rainboom today! (THAT'S RACIST! funny tho,)

00:22:04.720 --> 00:22:05.340
(normal) Oh, here I am.

00:22:05.940 --> 00:22:06.860
For a moment...

00:22:07.000 --> 00:22:08.120
For a moment...

00:22:08.360 --> 00:22:09.380
I CAN HEAR CRINKLES!!

00:22:10.040 --> 00:22:13.400
How could the world look up and trust us if pegasi like...

00:22:13.760 --> 00:22:14.260
you...

00:22:14.860 --> 00:22:16.260
are flowing around and-

00:22:16.460 --> 00:22:16.960
flowing.

00:22:16.960 --> 00:22:17.460
(chuckles)

00:22:18.180 --> 00:22:20.100
(mock English/Australian accent) Floying around up there in the skoy!

00:22:20.700 --> 00:22:22.380
Yeah, flappy-flappy, birdy-birdy!

00:22:22.640 --> 00:22:24.040
Y'know, with the rainbow shits?

00:22:24.340 --> 00:22:24.920
That's what you do!

00:22:24.920 --> 00:22:26.540
That's where it comes from, you piece o' shit!

00:22:26.900 --> 00:22:27.940
Taste the rainbow! (MOTHERFUCKERS)

00:22:28.400 --> 00:22:34.900
It opened its mouth, as if it was going to bore its fangs down on her one last time...

00:22:34.900 --> 00:22:35.400
(meow)

00:22:36.180 --> 00:22:37.420
Did she just MEOW?!

00:22:37.520 --> 00:22:38.180
Mag: Yeah!

00:22:38.640 --> 00:22:39.980
Mag: "One last time-"

00:22:39.980 --> 00:22:40.480
Mag: Meow!

00:22:40.480 --> 00:22:41.220
mmMMEOW!

00:22:41.620 --> 00:22:42.820
FUCK YOU, CAT!!

00:22:43.280 --> 00:22:44.000
(futilely attempts to make RD sound)

00:22:44.220 --> 00:22:45.400
I don't like the way...

00:22:45.920 --> 00:22:48.040
Eh, am I a fake?

00:22:48.760 --> 00:22:50.380
Am IIIIIII yer mom?

00:22:50.380 --> 00:22:51.960
(laughs)

00:22:52.360 --> 00:22:54.400
That's what I am; I'm really your mom!

00:22:55.000 --> 00:22:58.440
Haaah-haaAH-HAAAH-HAAah-haaah-haaaaaaaaaah!

00:22:58.440 --> 00:22:59.500
Okay, there's my tuning note.

00:22:59.500 --> 00:23:01.000
(suddenly becomes ravenous demon)

00:23:01.520 --> 00:23:02.780
Fluttershy line here.

00:23:03.280 --> 00:23:06.700
You ssssstupid bitch, you're gonna get your SHIT wrecked soon...

00:23:07.200 --> 00:23:08.500
Guti-booti's gonna s-...

00:23:08.680 --> 00:23:09.780
bite on your ass...

00:23:10.580 --> 00:23:11.300
Chimicherry,

00:23:11.480 --> 00:23:12.260
cherrychanga!

00:23:12.560 --> 00:23:15.180
(enters violent coughing fit)

00:23:16.280 --> 00:23:16.860
One moment!

00:23:16.960 --> 00:23:18.540
(tries to cough up hairball)

00:23:18.980 --> 00:23:20.020
Okay, I'm good!

00:23:20.460 --> 00:23:22.920
Let's have a fuckin' blooper fest!

00:23:22.920 --> 00:23:24.440
I can't fuckin' do this line!

00:23:24.440 --> 00:23:25.400
Now I sound like Applejack there.

00:23:25.400 --> 00:23:26.480
Tha- m- fuckin'-...

00:23:26.680 --> 00:23:29.880
Ley's have a fuckin' blooper fest, because- (laughs)

00:23:30.840 --> 00:23:32.340
'cause IIIIII'm Applejack!

00:23:33.000 --> 00:23:37.700
The very air pressing down on her, making her legs shake, and her breathing stop,

00:23:37.800 --> 00:23:40.300
as her heart pounded heavily in her chest.

00:23:40.780 --> 00:23:41.620
As it g- (phone makes noise)

00:23:42.200 --> 00:23:43.520
WHAT THE FUCK?!

00:23:44.960 --> 00:23:45.840
What was that sound?

00:23:47.340 --> 00:23:49.300
(laughing)

00:23:49.640 --> 00:23:50.180
Man!

00:23:50.280 --> 00:23:50.820
You two-

00:23:50.900 --> 00:23:51.400
you-

00:23:51.400 --> 00:23:52.620
Why is he saying man?!

00:23:52.660 --> 00:23:54.320
Man, man, man-man- what's-

00:23:54.360 --> 00:23:55.140
What's this m-...?

00:23:55.220 --> 00:23:57.040
Why is there mans in this?

00:23:57.220 --> 00:23:58.480
Why are we talking about mans?

00:23:58.480 --> 00:23:59.680
This is not Lyra!

00:24:03.140 --> 00:24:05.100
(laughs at Mag's absurdity)

00:24:05.440 --> 00:24:11.680
(demonic breathing)

00:24:11.760 --> 00:24:12.260
(burp)

00:24:12.520 --> 00:24:13.020
Oops.

00:24:13.800 --> 00:24:17.200
(demonic voice) Never should've had that Mountain Dew before chasing that bitch!

00:24:17.800 --> 00:24:19.980
Although, maybe I should-

00:24:20.000 --> 00:24:20.500
I...

00:24:20.840 --> 00:24:21.340
I-

00:24:21.340 --> 00:24:22.620
Hi, Scootaloo!

00:24:22.620 --> 00:24:23.620
(laughs)

00:24:24.540 --> 00:24:27.860
I'm here in Silent Ponyville for YOU, Rainbow Dash!

00:24:28.060 --> 00:24:28.920
Oh look, a drag-

00:24:28.920 --> 00:24:29.800
aaAAAAAAGH!!

00:24:30.460 --> 00:24:32.380
And then Scootaloo was no more.

00:24:33.040 --> 00:24:33.540
The end.

00:24:34.220 --> 00:24:35.800
Pinkie chimed in happily...

00:24:36.260 --> 00:24:37.140
Fluttershy line here.

00:24:37.600 --> 00:24:38.940
Fluttershy smiled...

00:24:39.420 --> 00:24:43.060
Everybody fuckin' smiles in this... motherfuckin' story.

00:24:43.520 --> 00:24:47.480
Smile, smile, smile, smile... (creepy ones at that)

00:24:48.300 --> 00:24:50.920
You smile, I smile, everybody fuckin' smiles!

00:24:51.020 --> 00:24:52.640
Everybody gets a smile today!

00:24:53.300 --> 00:24:54.220
Mudderfuckers.

00:24:54.940 --> 00:24:55.860
With one swift fi-

00:24:55.960 --> 00:24:56.460
fuck-

00:24:56.460 --> 00:24:57.560
(profuse stuttering)

00:24:57.980 --> 00:24:58.520
Dicks!

00:24:58.940 --> 00:24:59.820
With one stif-

00:24:59.980 --> 00:25:01.060
One swift kick!

00:25:01.180 --> 00:25:01.700
ONE-

00:25:01.700 --> 00:25:02.340
SWIFT-

00:25:02.340 --> 00:25:02.840
KICK!

00:25:02.920 --> 00:25:03.580
I CAN'T-

00:25:03.580 --> 00:25:05.940
(Lost descends into indecipherable madness)

00:25:06.320 --> 00:25:07.280
AAAAAAAGH!

00:25:07.780 --> 00:25:09.460
Now, Pinkie Pie,

00:25:09.860 --> 00:25:11.080
would you rather ban

00:25:11.080 --> 00:25:12.120
bluluh-blulululuh...

00:25:12.340 --> 00:25:13.460
or bluh-blulululuh?

00:25:13.460 --> 00:25:13.980
(laughs)

00:25:14.580 --> 00:25:15.520
(crying) Can I...

00:25:15.840 --> 00:25:17.680
can I (boop) see your cross for a minute?

00:25:18.480 --> 00:25:19.300
And she hit the mic.

00:25:19.420 --> 00:25:20.960
SHE HIT THE MIC RIGHT WHEN I SAID THAT LINE!!

00:25:21.140 --> 00:25:22.600
ffFFFUCK YOU PEANUT!!!

00:25:23.160 --> 00:25:27.380
She lifted her head slightly, watching the fire intently,

00:25:27.500 --> 00:25:29.780
with her glowing crimson eyes.

00:25:29.780 --> 00:25:30.740
(Guti's phone vibrates)

00:25:31.100 --> 00:25:32.500
Did you really, phone?

00:25:33.380 --> 00:25:36.420
I don't care if these people liked a photo on Twitter!

00:25:36.420 --> 00:25:37.500
EAT DICKS!

00:25:38.060 --> 00:25:39.840
This IS pretty twaf...

00:25:39.960 --> 00:25:40.840
twaf- twaf!

00:25:40.840 --> 00:25:42.140
It's pretty twaf!

00:25:42.980 --> 00:25:44.800
And I would do anything...

00:25:45.040 --> 00:25:46.880
to ruin his mother's life.

00:25:47.500 --> 00:25:50.560
And I would do ANYTHING to ruin his mother's life.

00:25:51.820 --> 00:25:57.300
(sings Broadway-style) And IIIIIIIII would do anything to ruin his mother's LIIIIIIIIIFE!

00:25:58.060 --> 00:26:00.360
(crying) I shouldn't have let this happen!

00:26:01.100 --> 00:26:03.420
I should've protected you!

00:26:03.660 --> 00:26:06.120
I should-d've bededebleah!

00:26:06.960 --> 00:26:10.860
I can't get my li-hi-hiiiines!

00:26:12.020 --> 00:26:14.400
That's what so saaaaad! (that's a big fuck up right there,)

00:26:14.400 --> 00:26:16.720
(mock sobbing)

00:26:17.460 --> 00:26:19.100
This IS pretty twaf-

00:26:19.200 --> 00:26:19.700
twa-

00:26:19.700 --> 00:26:20.400
FUUUUCK!!

00:26:20.660 --> 00:26:22.900
FUCK, WHY DO I KEEP SAying twaf?

00:26:23.800 --> 00:26:24.580
"Alive"?

00:26:25.200 --> 00:26:26.960
What do you mean "alive"?

00:26:27.980 --> 00:26:33.840
(starts singing "Stayin' Alive" by The Beegees because fuck it, it's appropriate)

00:26:34.440 --> 00:26:35.440
Woah there...!

00:26:35.440 --> 00:26:36.300
ah- n-

00:26:36.480 --> 00:26:37.560
Woah there!

00:26:38.300 --> 00:26:39.200
AJ: Woah there!

00:26:40.680 --> 00:26:42.140
AJ: I'm the prince now, bitch!

00:26:42.980 --> 00:26:44.140
RD: I thought I was the prince-!

00:26:44.140 --> 00:26:45.820
AJ: No, Dashie, it's me now!

00:26:46.380 --> 00:26:47.300
AJ: Prince Applejack!

00:26:48.280 --> 00:26:48.780
AJ: Suck it!

00:26:49.420 --> 00:26:52.160
Obviously Twilight just ripped off this puzzle from Ter-

00:26:52.160 --> 00:26:52.720
(Terry Pratchett?)

00:26:52.720 --> 00:26:54.940
(slap) Daring (slap) Do and the (slap) Temple of (slap) Goons...

00:26:55.660 --> 00:26:56.800
(laughing) DARING DO...

00:26:57.060 --> 00:26:59.060
AND THE TEMPLE OF GOOOOOONS!!!!

00:26:59.700 --> 00:27:00.200
(pained noise? IDK)

00:27:00.500 --> 00:27:02.340
Femurs erupting from the hole in her head...

00:27:02.480 --> 00:27:03.220
Hang on, what-?

00:27:03.300 --> 00:27:03.940
Femu-...

00:27:05.000 --> 00:27:05.920
(sudden realization)

00:27:05.920 --> 00:27:06.800
Ewwwwww!

00:27:07.320 --> 00:27:07.900
Ewww!

00:27:07.900 --> 00:27:09.500
Ew, Lost, this is horrible!

00:27:09.560 --> 00:27:11.460
Femurs from the hole in her head?

00:27:11.960 --> 00:27:12.540
Eww!

00:27:12.540 --> 00:27:13.160
This is like...

00:27:13.540 --> 00:27:14.040
UGH!

00:27:14.180 --> 00:27:14.680
Just-

00:27:14.720 --> 00:27:15.220
Ugh!

00:27:15.500 --> 00:27:17.720
This is beyond even me, and I did bloody Awoken!

00:27:18.600 --> 00:27:22.680
Jesus H. Christ on a fucking pogo stick.

00:27:22.680 --> 00:27:24.120
What is WRONG with you, woman?!

00:27:24.700 --> 00:27:27.440
Fluttershy, stay very close to me!

00:27:27.780 --> 00:27:29.660
Don't leave my side, ov-

00:27:29.660 --> 00:27:30.180
(fails)

00:27:30.180 --> 00:27:30.880
I'm screaming-

00:27:30.940 --> 00:27:32.200
DON'T LEAVE MY SIDE!!

00:27:32.200 --> 00:27:33.600
(chuckles)

00:27:34.100 --> 00:27:36.560
DON'T YOU DO IT, FLUTTERSHY, OR I SWEAR...

00:27:37.700 --> 00:27:40.820
I will FEED YOU TO THE MONSTER MYSELF!!

00:27:41.420 --> 00:27:42.600
Now PAY ATTENTION!!

00:27:43.380 --> 00:27:45.240
No defense, for this bent,

00:27:45.240 --> 00:27:47.140
adolescent with no common sense,

00:27:47.140 --> 00:27:49.440
with rhymes that self-absorb to himself, a- s- beh...

00:27:49.600 --> 00:27:50.360
d- FUCK!

00:27:50.500 --> 00:27:51.340
Fuck, I...

00:27:51.800 --> 00:27:56.120
FUCK THIS LIIIIIIIIIIII-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAAAAAA-

00:27:56.640 --> 00:27:57.800
AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

00:27:57.800 --> 00:27:58.900
(fuck this shit, Lost out)